whatshouldIdo2705 Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Hi all. Well, heres the situation.. My very good friend's husband is cheating on her and I feel like she is almost in denial about it. She has had suspicions about him in the past but has kind of just let it go. Anyway, just recently I found out through my husband, who works with her husband, that he is sending messages to someone quite a bit while he is at work, and also looking at a picture of some girl on the computer. Also, he is always taking trips to visit different members of his family all of the time. One trip he took was to the same place his ex lives. He is always going off on the weekends to take a trip up to a place where he used to live. My friend found out that he had booked a hotel one night when he was supposedly hanging out with his friend. He made up an excuse that he and his guy friend got the hotel room to get away from the guys annoying family. I have also heard that he was seen with a girl at the place where he works. And last, but the worst of all. My husband was told by one of this guy's friends that he slept with some random girl in a foreign country(not a very nice place), the condom broke, and he had to get some kind of shot to help protect him from getting anything. I dont know what this shot is.. does anyone else?? Anyway, she knows about everything except him sleeping with that girl, which i think she would leave him for, but i cant tell her because my husband has to work with him, and I dont think i could tell her something that would hurt her so much. Anyway, she has been suspicious and investigating him some, but then she just says shes going to try to forget about things for now because she has no real proof of anything. I feel like she is putting herself in denial , even though she has instincts that he is cheating on her. I know that its not really my business but she is one of my best friends and I feel awful for her. Any advice on what I should do? I would like for her to just leave this guy. I have even told her I think she deserves better. They have a son together and I know that makes it harder, but she would just be so much better off without him.. Well, any advice on this would be appreciated. thanks all!
Mz. Pixie Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 There isn't a "prevention" shot for STD's. The only thing I can fathom is that he actually caught something and had to get treated for it. If there was in fact a prevention shot, everyone who sleeps around would get one! He is cheating. It is your business as this is your friend. She needs to hire a PI- install keyloggers on her computer- check his cell phone records. Once she gathers the information, then have her take it to a attorney before she confronts him to find out what her options are. Then once she does this and finds out what her options are, have her sit him down and confront him. He must attend marriage counseling or she will leave him. Period. She will have to have the guts to follow through on it though. He sounds like a serial cheater and I'm not sure he can be faithful but for your friends sake I hope he cares enough about his marriage to go to counseling.
Author whatshouldIdo2705 Posted November 21, 2005 Author Posted November 21, 2005 Thanks pixie. Well, I had never heard of a shot to prevent getting an STD. But from what I heard, he was with someone and the condom broke, and he went to get the shot because he was worried about possibly getting something. I dont know, it doesnt make sense to me.
sylviaguardian Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 I don't think there is anything you can do, apart from be a friend and support her. My guess is that if you hold it up in front of her, she will refuse to believe you and will lose a friend too. I'm sorry - I know you feel awful about things but she has enough suspicions that she could have done something about it by now. Obviously she chooses not to.
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