In Sync Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 scobro OH NO YOU DON'T! Don't do this to yourself with the 'what I'll miss about her list.' We all have those. All that stuff is just gonna keep us backsliding. You're a great guy, and she didn't appreciate you. She didn't love you the way you deserved to be love. I want you to move on, so yes, I'm dissing your list, because from all those wonderful things you cherished about her, she had that same list and in effect tore it up in your face. PERIOD. Hopefully You will slap some since into me, if I get all sentimental about my ex, the charming British, 6 ft' with the cute accent who made me laugh, ...I expect you to tell me ______________. (Feel Free To Fill in any comment to Bring me Back To Reality.)
Author SMHappyface Posted November 21, 2005 Author Posted November 21, 2005 All our exes have some redeeming qualities - that's why we went out with them in the first place. My sleezy womanizing ex had his good points - his dark passionate eyes, the way he'd hug me when I'd flipped out about something and how he called me "little lady" BUT at the end of the day, they are just a jerk. If we remember the good points, we miss them and wonder why the heck we are not dating them anymore. BUT, if we remember them as they were - for the losers that broke up with us, or the bastards that broke our hearts, we can move on. I can't say that I'm all so very bitter - I mean, I did waste 3 years of my life, but it's not just about him cheating, or all the rumors he's spreading, but at the very end HIM being the person he is and us being totally uncompatible. It's over, move on. Being single is better than being with him, and perhaps, just maybe, someday somebody will come along that loves me for me, not just my 26 inch waist and size C boobs!!! Hello, I have a brain here!
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 this is a difficult thread for me as i didn't have many problems with her but i'll giv e it a go... -won't have to listen to her and her brother fighting although i didn't mind consoling her or listening to her about this -won't have to ask her to eat something at the weekends -won't have to worry about her staying up all weekend partying then looking her at 8am although right now i still do care and worry -i'll be able to listen to any of my music in my own house again -won't have to listen to the same cd's over and over again -won't have to watch her talking to her ex in our local bar (this slightly annoyed me on one occassion where she disappeared and left me sitting there and she was with him in the upstairs bar ) -won't have to worry about her tiredness ( she became like this in the last month ), we used to go on big daytrips on Sunday's and she stopped wanting to do this, she said it was an effort for her to do this -won't have to listen to her troubles in her work although i winged to her about my job saying that there are more CONS and i could list all day the things i will miss about her
omegaRED Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Well... What i`m not gonna miss: - The lying - Constant need to compete with her and to fit her expectations - The feeling i`m not as good as her (it`s not her fault, but still) - Listening to all the stories from her workplace - Everything has to be carefully planned, no spontanity - Being second place to her career - Her arrogant sister Well... That`s about it, really. What i am gonna miss... - Cooking together (it`s not as fun to do it by myself) - Her falling asleep on my shoulder - Her smell on my pillow in the morning - Making love to her - The way she made me feel in the good old days - Nights spent just talking - Translating books together and helping eachother - Plans for our own family, home, dog... - And her (one of the most beautiful girls i`ve ever seen) Yeah i still miss her. Even after all the dishonesty and cheating, i still miss her. Oh well... It`ll pass.
Tiny Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Looking at all these posts really makes me wonder, why we're not just one big happy bunch of very lonely people. What does it matter what we "can" enjoy alone, when all we really want to be, is together and in love boohoo I'd have to laugh is I wasn't already crying
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 think i'll add a few more... -her smoking in the car and in my house -her dumping me, then wants a week of a break then comes back spends the whole weekend with me drinking and having sex then dumps me again 5 days later and over the phone -her dumping me before christmas... this has happened for the last 3 years! -making me going have a bad christmas, i've come to hate this (quite understandable ) -her not commiting to booking a holiday with me during the past few months (makes me wonder about her intentions) -me having to initiate most of the sex most of the time -making me having to avoid several of my favourite bars i'd love to know what she would put in this thread about me... might help me move on!
dprelz Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 life sucks without my ex but i have no other choice i think thats the answer everybody honestly knows but won't say:p
NoFaith05 Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 SMHappyFace, Why the heck did you ever date this guy?? Your ex sounds like a real dork/loser/a**hole. Don't ever date somebody just to avoid being on your own. It won't work out, and somebody always gets hurt.
FWIW Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 All the stuff you miss about your ex is stuff you can almost certainly find again with someone new. The stuff you DON'T miss is often pretty much unique to them, so you really are better off looking for someone better. Be strong!
scobro Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 life sucks without my ex but i have no other choice i think thats the answer everybody honestly knows but won't say Its like when people say "oh its for the best" you're like "no its not Im dying here I was happy how is that for the best"?
Mz. Pixie Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 Because you can't see it yet sweetie- the pain is too fresh for you. Trust me, no matter how beautiful someone is- there is someone somewhere who is sick of their sxit.
scobro Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 All the stuff you miss about your ex is stuff you can almost certainly find again with someone new. This is very true!!!
solsta Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 -being woken up at 3am when he can't sleep and calls me -having to listen to his endless insecurities about his looks -forcing myself to talk dirty to satisfy him -having to listen about how bad he wants a threesome -waiting for him to finally get out of bed at 3pm and want to do something, then he ignores me and buries himself in the newspaper -his constant pot smoking = low libido -thoughtlessness and selfishness -constantly making me cry -worrying he is cheating -having his profile online on a dating site (after a year and a half)
seachange Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 I guess I can add to this list... ...with my ex out of the picture, I have shut down the drama factory and laid off all the workers. Whew! Peace. I've got stuff I miss about him too. BUT...whenever I start to get maudlin I'm going to try to think of Mz. Pixie's line: Trust me, no matter how beautiful someone is- there is someone somewhere who is sick of their sxit. I loooooove this.
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 i think lifes first break ups are the hardest thats what im going through,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it is scary
Apathygrip Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 I can party party party party!!!! OMG I've wanted to go out and flirt/pick up ladies for soo long it's not even funny. Sure it's hard at first to get rid of the ring rust but I'ts kinda like riding a bike.
Art_Critic Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 Trust me, no matter how beautiful someone is- there is someone somewhere who is sick of their sxit. Word... Without my ex wife I'm happier and have gotten my humor back.. when I was married the last year or so I lost my humor and didn't wake up laughing at myself.. Without My ex GF.. the same.. I'm laughing again
jc Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Hmmm 13. Never have to watching him run back and forth to his scale every ten minutes to check his weight. Funny, my ex was obsessed with weighing himself too...very weird.. My List: 1. I don't have to worry constantly whether he'll be there for something important in my life (graduation, when I'm upset, when my Grandpa died) 2. I don't have to attempt to have a conversation with him while he plays guitar incessantly. 3. I don't have to listen to anymore of his stupid drunk stories, and pretend to think that they are funny. 4. I don't have to worry about his friends hating me anymore. And I don't have to dislike them anymore either. 5. I don't have to constantly wonder whether he is going to grow up, commit, marry me, have children with me, etc. (let alone move out of his parents house) 6. I don't have to bite my tongue anymore to avoid saying mean, but true, things about his twin brother 7. I don't have to be hurt when he tells me he can't take time off work to come on vacation with me, then two weeks later takes time off to go on vacation with his friends instead... Hmm...maybe I'm actually really lucky that this person is no longer in my life...
Sloppy Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 OK, this is a really hard one for me today. I've been feeling like life is not better without him. I miss him. I love him. I cannot have him. 1) I can discover who I am and why I do things I do. 2) I don't have to get upset when he leaves to go back home to his wife. 3) I have a chance to find someone new and meet new people in general. 4) I don't have to listen to annoying music 5) I would have never known how much I can love one person if I hadn't met him...and if it hadn't ended. 6) I understand now that to love someone is to let them be and do what's best for them...and try to be happy for them.
SheGardensAbove Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 It has taken me 2 long years to get to this point (and 6 months of no contact), but I can finally say that these are the things I will NOT miss about being with my ex: 1. constantly feeling insecure and worried about looking perfect 24/7; 2. getting a brazilian wax every 3 weeks (ouch!); 3. getting a spray tan once a week; 4. spending all of my money on designer labels and never being able to lounge around in sweats; 5. not being able to eat without feeling like a pig; 6. being embarresed when we'd go out and he would get drug f*cked in front of my friends; 7. watching him flirt with every woman (or gay man) that crossed his path; 8. staying up all night listening to him cry about how hard his childhood was (most of his stories were made up); 9. seeing my friends look at me with pity all the time because I was in such a bad relationship; 10. living a life that was all about him. Phew. Now why did I stay in that zone for 3 years...?!
RecordProducer Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 There is nothing about my break-up that makes me say "Kewl, I don't have to take this anymore." Everything seemed so perfect, we had a wondeful relationship with very few fights here and there.
jayteresa Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 There is nothing about my break-up that makes me say "Kewl, I don't have to take this anymore." Everything seemed so perfect, we had a wondeful relationship with very few fights here and there. Im with you there, read everyones responses but couldnt really relate myself, I dont know whether this is a good or a bad thing!
Tiny Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 I think were all just kiddin ourselves sheeeet
Geoffrey Posted December 29, 2005 Posted December 29, 2005 I don't have to live on a steady diet of Court TV I don't have to wonder if she's stinking drunk when I come home from work and what kind of mood she'll be in I don't have to hear her complain about my line of work and how I SHOULD get a better job....when she doesn't even HAVE one right now I don't have to clean up three days' worth of dirty dishes in the sink I won't have to listen to her "drink and dial" (on the phone) and scream at someone on account of her "issues" ....but there are many other little wonderful things that I DO miss.... Her smile Cuddling up back-to-back in bed when we were sleeping Holding her sweet little hand in mine Laughing together etc......ok time to cry now....it backfired....
ChaseYng2005 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 This is a good threat, because I would have never thought all of the things that annoyed me if I didnt just sit down and think, because I was too much in love. 1) I no longer have to deal with the emotional immaturities. 2) No more wondering what's a lie and what's the truth. 3) No more hearing about how his life has sucked. 4) No more hearing about how his only hope in life is to win the lottery because all of his dreams are dead. 5) No more dealing with someone who is drunk a good deal of the time because he "doesnt want to feel". 6) No longer putting up with someone who tries to make me jealous so Ill chase him. 7) No longer hearing about how his job sucks. 8) Just not dealing with any of his boring childish insecurities. 9) No longer dealing with him pushing me away, and when I finally back off he wonders "what is wrong with you, why are you mad at me??" 10) No more suprise smelly farts. 11) I dont have to constantly hear complaints about his heartburn and other digestive problems. 12) No more of his sarcastic attitude, upon which he always apologizes, or gets his feelings hurt when I return the sarcasm leaving me apologizing. 13) No longer having to put up with his jealous ex. 14) No longer having to wait until he's sober to engage in sex. 15) No longer feeling obligated to talk to him for hours on the phone while at work in order to make him feel loved. 16) I dont have to deal with his pet peeves, like how he folds his clothes, makes his tea, and makes his bed. 17) No more being put off just so he can mow the grass, wash clothes, or work on his car.
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