scobro Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 I have been separated now for 4 months physically separated for 2 months.I just cannot understand how long the roller coaster ride of emotions will last.One week I am good the next week I am sad and depressed and miss my ex and "old life".Now, it is good one day bad the next.I am doing NC and have no reason to see my ex but how long can I expect to keep this roller coater ride going when can I just start feeling normal everyday.I am messed up from one day to the next can anyone explain why this is happening.
SMHappyface Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Divorce and Death are one of the most emotionally disturbing events to ever hit a person. When you give yourself totally to another person and that is destroyed, your body goes into shock. I never have been married, but I was engaged. I've seen it take months and up to a couple of years to get over somebody, but the best thing you are doing is NC - contacting just delays the healing process. I had a friend who went through a divorce for years, but her ex harrassed her for that time too. Ignoring your ex and moving on is the best thing. I can't say how long this will drag on for you, but I can promise that someday it will be over.
slubberdegullion Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Scobro; This is perfectly normal. You're not crazy. SMHappyface is absolutely right (she's cute, too!); keep up NC even though it's very difficult because that's one of the best ways to manage the pain. And, of course, you will be ok.
Author scobro Posted November 21, 2005 Author Posted November 21, 2005 (she's cute, too!) Hahahaha yes I know very cute and not even Canadian;) Thanks for the response you guys make sense but this really sucks I hate it.
In Sync Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Divorce and Death are one of the most emotionally disturbing events to ever hit a person. When you give yourself totally to another person and that is destroyed, your body goes into shock. SMHappyface I've had the experience of losing in both categories recently, my mom's passing and the ex dumping me, so imagine to say the least it's like a hellish year. Today I'm feeling to te next stage of numb/acceptance...or is it still shock. It's like so overwhelming that I can't cry anymore...gotten to this point of maybe there's another me that operating because the one that wants to cry may never stop. Yesterday for the first time I took myself to a movie and got lost. I was sort surprised that for the two hours I didn't think about either loss. But after I left I started crying again. But here I am again another day writing to you guys, you all seem to understand this feeling one experience which is hard for me to talk about with just anybody.
SMHappyface Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Hahahaha yes I know very cute and not even Canadian;) I'm half Canadian - My mom is from Toronto and I live on the border. :-P But thanks. Keep your nose up Scobro, hurting over somebody you've loved shows u have a heart which is a very valuable trait - I would worry more if you DIDN'T hurt. In time you'll meet somebody who appreciates the man you are and knows how lucky they are.
Jeannie Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Believe it or not it will get easier. I'm on month 5 - and if you go back and see all my posts I spent alot of time on here talking about NC and my breakup. Eventually you'll get fed up from obsessing about your ex and dwelling so much on the past. I had a period where I was going NUTS and wanting to contact but I held my ground and got over the hump. THANK GOD I NEVER CONTACTED HIM!!! I've allowed myself to heal and it's been the best thing I've ever done. I'm actually thinking clearly these days and if my ex came back - I can honestly say I wouldn't want him. The fantasy has dissolved and I've chosen to love myself and not settle for the crap I put up with when I was with him. You just gotta go thru the grieving process. Eventually you'll have days where you smile and laugh again then realize "Hey! I haven't thought about him/her all day!". Trust me - it takes a while but it does get easier.
Outcast Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 It definitely takes quite a while for the rollercoaster ride to end. Just hang on and know it will end. I'm thinking six months minimum but it could take up to a year.
Nikita20 Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Scorbo: I'm riding on the same rollercoaster ride as you are. Isn't it fun? Ugh!! Like all rollercoaster rides, it will end but it is just a matter of time. I personally think that this is the longest emotional rollercoaster ride I've ever been on in my entire life. Just this Saturday, I bawled my eyes out for an hour because I was thinking about my ex, wondering what he is up to and wondering why in the hell he isn't calling me, etc. etc. I felt much better after I cried though. I'm still sticking to my guns and doing NC. I guess that is my only saving grace. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to yell, yell. If you need to run, run. Run Forrest Run!! Ha!! Ha!! I just saw Forrest Gump. Do anything and everything to get all the negative feelings out of your system. Keep posting here if you need to. I think that the advice I've received here and other threads that I've read are priceless. I'm sure you agree. I'm even seeing a counselor and that is helping as well. In the past, I would of never dreamed of seeing a counselor--I thought it was only for screwed up people. Boy was I wrong. Sometimes it is good to get professional advice to help you cope. Hang in there Scobro. Things WILL get better. But it is up to YOU and I know you can do it!!
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