noclobber Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Just being curious as to how to avoid becoming "just friends" with a woman. Assume you meet a woman for the first time in a public place and end up having a conversation with her. Is there something that can be done during that first conversation which can signal her that I want to be more than friends? will paying compliments work? Also, what would make a woman to put that guy in "just friends" category?
JS17 Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Here's a novel idea. Stop filling your head with all of this nice guy / bad boy BS and ask her out. Don't ask her if she wants to hang out, ask her if she wants to go out with you sometime. Give her your number or ask her for hers. If you've spoken to her for 5 minutes she knows whether she wants to give you a shot in the romance department.
Author noclobber Posted November 21, 2005 Author Posted November 21, 2005 Here's a novel idea. Stop filling your head with all of this nice guy / bad boy BS and ask her out. Don't ask her if she wants to hang out, ask her if she wants to go out with you sometime. Give her your number or ask her for hers. If you've spoken to her for 5 minutes she knows whether she wants to give you a shot in the romance department. Thanks JS17! As a woman, what wud make u to want to go out with a guy whom u have just met?
JS17 Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 If I found him attractive, an appropriate age, and enjoyed the conversation. Keep the conversation light when you talk to her, don't burst into some political debate or anything too serious.
johan Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 The best way to avoid being friends with a woman is to not be her friend. I don't mean be mean or cold. But don't get involved in her life that way. Friendly, but kind of aloof. If she gives you good signals, then get her number. If not, then no big deal. When it's over she should feel like that was the easiest conversation she ever had. Not like "good God, I'm glad that's over, I feel like I just broke his heart" or "good God, I'm glad that's over, I was getting ready to call the bouncer." Being sensitive pays off big time when you first meet a woman. By "sensitive" I mean being able to read subtle signals. It also means knowing just how strong to come on. If you don't get the "go ahead" signals up front then just go do something else. Little risk of teminal friendship that way. Also, she should earn compliments. And you should ration them out like each one costs you $100. Maybe you can afford to blow one or two good ones on her once in a while, but make them count. The best compliments are the ones about something she's clearly proud of (besides her eyes) and that you didn't pounce on first thing. That way she realizes you really were paying attention, you mean it, and you aren't a sell out. Now you know everything I know.
kitkat826 Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Its really simple. If I like you, I will want to go out with you, and I will make it known. If I meet you in a public place and end up in conversation with you, I'm going to naturally assume that you are interested in me. Sincere and subtle compliments almost always work.
Neptune Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 noclobber, First know that women can seldom really give meaningful advice to guys on this issue. It will usually be something along the line of "just be yourself and ask." Please re-read Johan`s post. He hit on the heart of the matter: The ability to really listen and interpret what the woman is communicating to you. The reason you end up in the friend zone is because you interpreted a woman`s interest as romantic when in fact all she was ever doing was establishing a friend style aquaintance. Her subtle language conveyed this. A guy lacking in social skills with women will be constantly trying to sort through it all. There is no simple fix. You just have to keep studying and experiencing until you get there.
alphamale Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Is there something that can be done during that first conversation which can signal her that I want to be more than friends?? yes NOCLOBBER, ask her out on a date...that usually indicates u want more than "friends"
Cecelius Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 If I meet you in a public place and end up in conversation with you, I'm going to naturally assume that you are interested in me. Sincere and subtle compliments almost always work. You must also be careful of the above. Women assume all kinds of things, and you can drive them crazy if you really are in control of yourself. If you go into it acting like you're lucky to get the interview (and she knows you are interested), then you will not be creating much attraction with her.
swedeace Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 Just being curious as to how to avoid becoming "just friends" with a woman. Assume you meet a woman for the first time in a public place and end up having a conversation with her. Is there something that can be done during that first conversation which can signal her that I want to be more than friends? will paying compliments work? Also, what would make a woman to put that guy in "just friends" category? The thing is that no one can MAKE another person fall for them. There is NO secret or "magic word" to instantly make someone be MORE than a friend. It's all about choices. Each person has a choice for themselves, but at the end, it's ultimately each party's choice to see how things go. You are just going to have to give it a "go" at complimenting, but keep in mind to NOT force it either. If it's gonna happen, then it's gonna happen. That's just life. Time will only tell.
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