nicegirl2 Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 I recently just came out of a 4 year relationship my longest ever. I feel so sad, lonely, angry and frustrated. I know I shouldn't be with this person in the long run but I think he has moved on and it hurts to know. Everytime I go through a breakup the guy jumps to the next girl. The first time it happened to me the guy ended up marrying the rebound and last time the guy moved in with her. Now my ex I think is interested in someone else and I just can't handle it anymore. Where are all the descent men? Why does it feel like all men do is go on the rebound. I am talking about my personal experience and past events that have just happened with my friends. Is it true that men can just jump from one relationship to another? It hurts me so much and I'm having a really tough time coping. Any words of wisdom?
scobro Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 Its easier for the person who did the dumping to move on quicker.The dumpee ususally feels rejected and will find it next to impossible to rebound.The rebound in general is the worst thing to do it really just masks the pain in the short term.I am on my fourth month and find myself feeling lonlely a lot but the worst thing for me would be a new relationship because I am not ready.I need to give myself a year or two to be ready to commit fully if a serious relationship happens again for me.
wanda1974 Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 Nicegirl, I was in a similair situation, only it was my husband of 8 yrs. that jumped into a rebound. We've been divorced 2 years now, and he's still with her. I do know though, that he is miserable.... , which makes me feel better, not because he's miserable, but because he thought the grass was greener on the other side. Best of luck to you, I know it hurts like hell....
taylor3205 Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 hi nicegirl Im sorry to hear you are feeling like this, I feel exactly like you do. Lost, lonely, hurt, sad, and angry. I love my ex with all my heart and soul, 8 weeks ago we were living together and I wasnt expecting anything like this at all. 6 weeks ago he said he didnt love me no more and no longer wanted to be with me and moved out after 7 years of being together. I fell apart. We have had some contact, he came to see me yesterday and told me he is interested in sum1 else, although nothing had happened yet as he was not ready. Wants to be friends still though!! And I know the best thing for me to do is to block him completely but I cant!! Its cracking me up and I feel as though I cant cope, on anti depressants and on waiting list for a counsellor. Totally and utterly in bits and he seems so happy. Guess we just have to take it day by day. Good luck!!
Author nicegirl2 Posted November 20, 2005 Author Posted November 20, 2005 wow, you also have had it really rough. i think it's hard to maintain and long and loving relationship. It just makes me so angry that my ex could meet new people so quickly as if 4 years of us dating meant nothing to him. But you're right take it 1 day at a time. I just wish it was less painful and I could snap my fingers and get over him. I know dating someone else right now is wrong and I feel it's too early and that I would just be mean to the other person. So what I do is try and keep myself as busy as possible. Meanwhile, he just went to latin america and he's partying up a storm. o well what can a woman do?
jhurtinct Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 nicegirl, I am asking myself the same ? right now what can we do to make ourselves feel better, and why is it always so easy for them to just wake up like nothing is wrong and go on with out a care in their hearts. I think it might have something to do with the type of person they are. I to wish I had an answer on how to snap out of it and go on with each day, but I don't. I know that being on here helps alittle, its just hard when you get the advice you know is so true, but not what you want to hear. good luck and if you find the answer share with me pls:)
patwheel Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 Hi guys, It's been 4 weeks for me, ex broke it off, we were together for almost 3 yrs, and just 5 weeks ago, we were living together. At the beginning, it was terrible, I was a mess. Depressed, destructive, I thought the world came to an end. NC helps, and if you want to see how good it works, look at all the stories that are on here. The most important part is try not to think about them, but think about yourself. Accept the outcome, and not dwell with it for now. Focus on the now, and not the past, nor the future. I know if when I was thinking about the past or the future, a river of thoughts came through my mind and I just could not think anymore. The best way to get rid of that is keep yourself busy, focus on yourself and now. Good luck!
Author nicegirl2 Posted November 26, 2005 Author Posted November 26, 2005 Hey Pat, you mentioned something about NC and how it really works. What's NC?
taylor3205 Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 The most important part is try not to think about them, but think about yourself. Accept the outcome, and not dwell with it for now. Focus on the now, and not the past, nor the future. I know if when I was thinking about the past or the future, a river of thoughts came through my mind and I just could not think anymore. The best way to get rid of that is keep yourself busy, focus on yourself and now. This is so true. Hard to do but true. Dont look back, you will only be reminded of happier times and lots of memories. Dont look forward as you will only imagine a future without your other half and its unbearable to think about. NC = No Contact. No communications between you and the ex at all.
NoFaith05 Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 NC means "no contact". No emails, phone calls, text messages, or smoke signals. There are good men out there- we just keep dating the wrong women. My ex GF moved on just as quickly as your ex BF. I don't really think it's fair to label the opposite sex as all bad. There are good and bad apples within both sexes.
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