gordon_gc Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 Hi, Just thought I would post a new thread and seek advices. Some of you have seen my other threads and what I went and still going through. In a nutshell, my 13 months gf broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Since then, I have actually been trying to figure out the reasons behind it, the best way to behave to get her back, etc, etc... However, this time, I went with my guts and did go against the whole NC because I needed a clear and honest explanation on a face to face basis. We met this morning for breakfast and finally had the talk I was expecting. She told me she still loves me and has feeling for me but a part of her is away. She didnt want to lie to me and herself by keeping our relationship til she would solves this. I asked where that part was away and we finally ended to something really painful. I could describe our relationship as pre-Europe and post-Europe. Before travelling to Europe together, everything was fine til she met her ex boyfriend living in the UK. She didnt think she would feel that way but actually strong feeling seemed to reappear. After this trip, I think she mostly was trying to forget this and move on but couldnt take this issue out her mind. She felt something strong for this guy and was confused about having me and this guy in her heart. I clearly stated her that she mostly had a fantasy of that guy as he was far away, only in contact with her for good things and not the way I was with her meaning supporting her day in day out. She said that she couldnt do anything further with me because of this feeling. Obviously, I was upset and trying to getting back inot the relationship is not my decision. She obviously has this guy in her head, in her heart. I told her she had to stop lying to herself by thinking about that guy and maybe needed to have a talk with him. That is probably the hardest decision I ever ahd to make : accepting the way she felt and pushing her to get in touch with this guy. It is a big gamble for me. She could get back with this guy. She could also realized he is not the one she thought. Anyway, she has to clear her mind from this. I just hope I made the right decision by supporting her and not getting mad at her…just thought it wouldn’t help me, her, us by using my ego to solve the issue…it might work, it might not work. After all the emotion of the conversation, we started a meaningless conversation about the good time we had, life and kissed. It was a bit awkward and in some way, even more confusing but the feeling were still here and she appreciated my understanding and my kindness. Since then, we are in contact but don’t really know if I should practice NC until she solves her problems with that guy. Anyway, I have 2 questions: Do you think I made the right decision by supporting her to call that guy and have the talk they should have ? Then, what should I do with my contact with her, NC or not ? What behaviour should I have ? Hope I have clear to explain the situation and don’t hesitate to ask me details if you want some more.
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