consumed Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 Well I went out tonite with some friends to a big bar. It helped and didn't help. I drank and danced some but now Im back home and alll im thinking about is her. I know she probably went out to the bar tonite and even when I was at the bar there were alot of times all I could think about was her. Even now Im sitting her thinking about her, wondering what kind of night she had.
brooke7777 Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 Don't you just hate that. My only experience going to bars was either with my ex or knowing that I would be coming home to him. It's so weird to know that he is not there or will not be there for me to come home to. Right now I don't think I'm quite ready for the bar scene. Anytime I have been out I find myself wondering what he is doing...if he is out at bars meeting people. And it takes away from the whole purpose of me going out...I'm not having fun and I'm definitely not ready to meet anyone new. Right now, I've decided to stay away from the bar scene for a while.
Author consumed Posted November 20, 2005 Author Posted November 20, 2005 I think that's what I'm going to start doing. I thought it would help going out but it didn't at all, maybe just because it's only been 2 weeks I dunno. Been having a downer day aswell not only because of last night but I dreamt about her again last night and we were trying to work things out.
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 well i hate to say this but even if it has been 2 weeks, it will feel like that for a while.......it does get different, its been 3 months for me....and the worse part about it is hes moving with his " new gf" and hearing that still shocks me and breaks my heart all over again....... i feel like the pain will only get worse b4 it gets better, but its up to you to make it better....try to stay focused on the future.... when i go out i do have fun, get drunk and my friends make me laugh....and when they see me staring off in to space they hit me and say" STOP" ....i kinda broke down today with tears but thats normal....i guess i meen no1 said it was easy, its so hard
patwheel Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 Personally, going out has been the "cure" to my sadness. I was in a relationship where we were always together, doing everything together, and that was the hardest part to break. I forgot how to go out actually! But friends are here to take you out, show you that you can have a good time without the ex factor. If you are not ready for bars, or clubs, try at least dinners among friends, at restaurants or even at your place! I found cooking suprise dinner parties entertaining, and relieving.
omegaRED Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 I`ve been like that at the beginning too. It does get better with time tho. The first couple (or maybe dozen of times) i went out, i really didn`t have that much fun. But now it`s getting better. It just depends on the company, and the crowd in that bar. if you don`t feel like it, don`t go out. I was forcing myself to go out, but now i`m taking a different approach. I know i want to go out, but if i don`t feel like it, i don`t force myself as much anymore. I do go out once or twice a week with my friends, and that, at this point in time, does help me. Tho what helped me the most was changing the surroundings. I went to visit a good friend in Belgrade for 4 days, and that really, REALLY helped. God knows i`m still not having as much fun as i want to, but hey, it`s getting better. Just try not to force yourself TOO much, but also, don`t spend all of the time alone and at home.
scobro Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 its been 3 months for me....and the worse part about it is hes moving with his " new gf" and hearing that still shocks me and breaks my heart all over again....... God that must really suck.I know Its been tough on me I actually had to still live with my ex for two months and she dated right in front of me it was horrible. I would be in tears and she would walk by me on her way out to meet some guy she met at a bar and I would wait up sometimes she would come in at 4 am sometimes not at all.I have been on my own now for 2 months and I am still a mess sometimes.I have the good days and then the lonely bad days but its all part of the healing process.
meltwithme Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Yeah I know the feeling too. I'm actually enjoying going to clubs/bars now, a little female attention and dancing really helps for a few hours. But when I leave, even if I've had a great night with friends and other ladies I'll find my mind thinking about the ex. I think the only thing to do is just keep telling yourself that it's not worth it to let someone who doesn't care get to you.
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