Pinkey25 Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 Okay so this is my first post and thank goodness I found this site because I am in need of some advice. Okay so here is the situation I am a 23 year old female and I have never had a real relationship. In all honesty I have never really wanted a man or needed a man. Well now that story is changing. So here is my dilema I had some guts for once in my life and asked this guy out at work he said yes and we went out for beers and hung out a few times. We've been kind of seeing each other for about a month and a half now, but we haven't had the talk of what we are, so maybe we aren't seeing each other, I don't know. I have spent the night at his house twice, we've kissed, but that is it and I slept on the couch even though he offered his bed. We playfully text each other when we don't see each other and he will say he misses me and how was your day? When do you work again? Not frequently, but enough. We both work alot so I understand that and it is weird at work we act totally different, very professional. So here is my question I texted him again yesterday and asked him if he wanted to go to the movies his response was he would, but he had a friend visiting him and he has to work, is this some lame excuse? How do I know if he actually likes me? I mean I feel like he does, but how do I ask him if he does without coming on to strong or getting rejected? Which I allready feel rejected because of the movie thing. Or should I just wait and see what happens? Oh by the way he is 28 if that makes a difference. Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.
slubberdegullion Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 It doesn't sound like an excuse, but it's hard to say. He may be worried that you like him "as a friend," which generally means (at least to men) that you're interested in his company and whatnot but not in an intimate way. It's pretty clear, at least from what you've written, that he likes you a lot. So if you're interested in being more than a buddy, let him know. And be clear about it; the vast preponderance of men aren't big on subtle hints.
Author Pinkey25 Posted November 19, 2005 Author Posted November 19, 2005 slubberdegullion- What you say makes sense, man this whole dating thing is so confusing. So are you suggesting I flat out ask him if he likes me? I feel like I am 14 or something, oh well gotta do it sometime, thanks
Outcast Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 No, don't ask him if 'he likes you'. He'll think you're silly - why would he go out with someone he doesn't like? As for the movie, would you go out with someoene else leaving your visitor alone in your place? Just take it easy. It's not time to have 'the talk' or any talk yet.
iceblue78 Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 Hmmmm... a month and a half. It could very well be time to have "the talk". I don't think I've ever seen anyone that long without finding out where we stand. It could be just me, but I don't like to waste over a month with someone thinking we're more than friends if we're not. I agree, though, that you need to just take it easy. I don't think he's blowing you off or making excuses unless this has happened more than twice recently. Its good to have time apart sometimes and keep seperate friends. Don't sweat it for now, but if it continues to happen, just ask him to talk about it. IMHO, nothing's worse than ambiguity in a relationship that's gone on for more than a month. If he doesn't want to be with you, you should know so that you don't waste any more time that you could be catching one of the other 12 million fish in the sea.
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