summerlove Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 After a 2 1/2 year realtionship and a hard break up. i can't find myself moving on, i'm still in love with him. He's moving on and I'm not. He's not in love with me but yet i'm still in love with him? Ive meet new people but I'm not being myself? anyone else had or having a hard time moving on? how do you just get over them?
Lonestar Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 It can take a long time, summerlove, depending on how deeply you loved the person, and it is usually harder for the one who got dumped. There's not much you can do but deal with the pain and let time pass. Don't contact him either, that will only set you back. Get up and out every day. Keep moving, keep making new friends, date, and eventually you will miss him less and less. Every new contact with him will open up the old wounds.
JosiePosie Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 My ex and I broke up just over two months ago and there are times when the loneliness just grips me. Like right now and last night. It has even come to a point where I would take him back if he came and talked about it with me. However, at the same time, I know it wouldn't be ideal for me as he has issues in his life that are pretty much deal-breakers for me. So I have been turning to my spirituality to get through these tough times. I always wonder too if my ex is really moving on. The last time we chatted via MSN, he gave me the usual "I hope you find the happiness you deserve...etc". And talked a bit on how overloaded he is with work now, so I am jealous there. Yes...I admit it, I am jealous of him. It appears like his life is picking up. But again, who really knows, he can be depressed as well and hiding it well. In the meantime, I am going to continually pray and seek guidance from my faith.
Art_Critic Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 Try not to think of it in terms of he has moved on and I haven't.. That is self defeating.. Think of it as a new beginning and you get to write your own future. Without him. sorry that you are in pain .. It will get better..
In Sync Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 summerlove' You are not alone. Trust me. I too am having a difficult time "moving on." On top of it all I am also struggling with the loss of my mom who passed recently. My ex broke it off with me in April, and though our contacts have now dwindled to nil after a spattering of contacts which I clung to for hope, I am still wheeling from this emotional upheaval. Yesterday I did buy this book which definitely covers this topic and it's by the same man who wrote "He's Just Not Into You." His lastest book is called "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken." It's funny but trust me it's like cold water being thrown on our face. A lot of TOUGH LOVE. Go out and get it. It's a bitter thing to sense the ex has picked up his marbles and started playing joyfully somewhere else while we look afar and wonder why aren't I. Maybe this all boils down to how we feel about ourselves presently. We've got to start making joyful moments in our own lives and take the focus off their business. I mean I know when I was with my ex (and I saw how he spent his time when I hung out with him, kind of a homebody who was hooked on playng poker on the computer..But in my mind I see him barhopping and picking up girls. Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. It's me who is creating those images. SO in a nutshell we gotta turn the focus on making our own lives happening. It's an effort to move on, we can't be passive about it and just hope it will happen and we'll forget them.
brittanyjean259 Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 well how long has it been for everyone since there break up?...it is hard to move on and it will take a while, but each day( you might not see it now)...you are moving on.. nobody said it was easy.
wahaha1 Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 The longest one took me a whole year..., until I moved out of the building where we both lived in. If you follow NC, you will get better as time passes.
brittanyjean259 Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 i count the months going by and i think 1 year is actually a short time to get over some one, think about how much time goes by
wahaha1 Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 I think moving to a new place, get a new life will speed up the healing process. I am moving to a new place again next month.., this time let's see how long it takes for the pain to go away...
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