Gottabestrong Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 2 weeks ago I had a blind date with a co-worker's cousin. He seemed really cute and nice. We barely exchanged 10 sentences as his cousin was there at the table with us and her husband and she held most of the conversation. At the end of the date we just said goodbye. Next day his cousin told me he asked for my number. Well, that was 2 weeks ago and he has not called. For some reason I can't get him out of my head and every time the phone rings I hope it is him. I saw him one other time a week ago when he showed up at an event I said I was gonna be at. He only stayed for a few minutes. Before he left he asked if I was gonna go to the movie festival in town. I said yes and mentioned a particular movie I was gonna watch. I also added that it was more of a chick flick and he was probably not interested in seeing it. He said he was and that he was planning on going. Well, he did not show. My friends tell me I should have asked him if he wanted to go there together, but I did not want to come on so strong plus I had already made plans with a friend to go there together, and I was not going to cancel plans with her for a guy I just met. Now I don't know what to do. I asked his cousin about him again, but she only said that he is shy and needs time to muster up the courage to call me. Well, how long? It's been 2 weeks already!!! Did I mention that we are both in our late 20ies? This feels so much like high-school. I find myself thinking about him all the time and coming up with plans how I might see him again, but I always remind myself that he could do the same thing and it would be easier for him as he got my number and the person who introduced us is his cousin. So should I just assume that he is not interested and try to forget about him? For G-d's sake, I only saw him twice, why do I care so much? I am a bit old-fashioned and normally think that the guy should make the first move, but I find it very hard to not do anything about this one.
ReluctantRomeo Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 I am a bit old-fashioned and normally think that the guy should make the first move, but I find it very hard to not do anything about this one. Then do something. This is no longer the 19th century. Unless you really like wearing whalebone corsets He is probably posting somewhere about how he keeps losing his courage when he is about to meet you Do be careful not to engage your heart too much right away tho. This might be fine - he's just shy - but it could be a red flag for any of various reasons.
Author Gottabestrong Posted November 18, 2005 Author Posted November 18, 2005 HI Romeo, thanks for your reply. So what do you suggest I do? I dont even have his phone number. I already spoke to his cousin twice about him after the meeting 2 weeks ago and she does not seem very excited about setting us up again. I asked her to tell him I would be happy to hear from him if he should mention me to her, but I dont know what else I could do. Besides asking her for his number, which I think is a bit too strong for my taste. And I agree with you. This could be a red flag. I only heard that he was shy from his cousin, maybe in reality he is a player or he told her that he is not interested at all and she is just too polite to tell me. Aargh, I hate feeling so worked up over a guy I barely know.
ReluctantRomeo Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 I already spoke to his cousin twice about him after the meeting 2 weeks ago and she does not seem very excited about setting us up again. Ask her why. Be politely pushy - you should only settle for his contact details or a good reason not to contact him. asking her for his number, which I think is a bit too strong for my taste. Honey, I think you're sweet. But if this is your strategy for life, you're gonna have a lot of "what if"s and "I wishes". If you see something good that you want to try, you should go for it. Or go back to the whalebone corsets Aargh, I hate feeling so worked up over a guy I barely know. Why are you so keen on a guy you've hardly talked to? I suppose it's physical attraction?
Author Gottabestrong Posted November 18, 2005 Author Posted November 18, 2005 Thanks again for your advice Romeo. Next time I see his cousin at work, which might not happen for a few more weeks (we work in a big department and work different shifts) , I will at least ask her one more time about him and if she could arrange another get-together. Why are you so keen on a guy you've hardly talked to? I suppose it's physical attraction? Not simply physical attraction. I mean, yes, he looks great. To me anyway. I found his pic on the Internet and of course had to show it to some friends. They don't think he is so hot. I am trying to figure out myself what is so special about him. I have been on a few dates in the last few weeks, so it can't be loneliness or being excited at the first nice guy who stumbles into my life. But I remember when I first saw him at that restaurant my heart skipped a beat. He has such a cute smile and every time he smiled I just had to smile with him. We did talk a bit and I discovered that we are passionate about the same things and have similar outlooks on life. Also we are from the same ethnic and religious background (the reason his cousin set us up in the first place), which is a bit hard to find in this place. It is just so great to talk to someone who knows where you are coming from and cares about the same things. I guess part of my attraction to him is knowing how easy and comfortable a relationship with him would be in some respects. It has been ages since I have had a boyfriend who celebrates the same holidays as me. But that is not the only thing that draws me to him as I have denied dates with guys from the same background before.
ReluctantRomeo Posted November 18, 2005 Posted November 18, 2005 I am trying to figure out myself what is so special about him Sometimes it can just be a gut instinct about something in the personality. Watch out for this - our gut instincts can be very badly trained for romance and lead us into heartbreak. You definitely need 1-on-1 time with him before you start letting your heart get attached.
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