AltplanB Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 Ok this is a long one. Im only 20 but i have dated a lot of girls. The only one that i ever had feelings for was the one that recently broke up with me. Shes 21 and we were together for a year. We lived to gether for a while but then had to go to different colleges. LDR was kinda in effect becuase we were 45 minutes away from each other. SHe has always had problems that i have helped her withL Bulima, her fathers demise, job depression. Because of all the support i gave her, she apparently started to view me as a supporter/friend, and not as a romantic lover. She told me that she lost her romantic feelings for me and that it was time to move on. Said that nothing was wrong with me and that i was wonderful but that she couldn't view herself being with me. Over the course of the week, i talked her into giving it a second try. But every moment i wasnt around her, she felt that it was so right not to be with me. She is a very emotional person and if something doesn't feel right, then she feels that she is lying to herself and others, which she can't handle. Anyway, she broke my heart again by saying that she just needs time to herself, and that in time we could become friends. She didn't want to lose contact and wanted to keep talking about to each other about our lives. We decided that we would see other people so that we wouldn't dwell on the thought of us.. Problem is that she goes to the same school as all my friends, whom she met through me. Her roomates are my friends girlfriends. SO i find out everything thats going on if i want to. Turns out, one week after the second breakup, she gets drunk at a party and a guy spends the night in her room. Turned out they just kissed but i know this guy and he is just like me. Ive talked to both of them and they claim that they are not looking for a relationship but then i think about him just pounding her and it makes me just sick to my stomach. I loved her more than anything and she left me because of a lack of romantic feelings. I went online and did a lot of research about the topic and it appears that girls at her age like to get out and experiance the boy pool while they are young and free. I believe that this might have been part of her reasoning when she dumped my ass. Because she is transfering to my school next year, i ponder what it will be like to be around her after this whole ordeal has gone down. I confronted her over the phone about the other guy and said that i didn't want her seeing other people so soon because it hurt me so much. I requested that we both not see other people and she agreed, while crying. About 5 minutes later she calls me and through tears, tells me its over, we cant have contact for a long time, and that she is gonna see other people before hanging up. Im devasted. Seems i would get a little and then get dropped. Anyway, i believe (from others intuition) that in these senarios that the girl will miss the old relationship and the aspects of the safe loving guy they had before. I have the conundrum of having to move on while holding out a small glimmer of hope that it might work again. However, i do not know whether i will be able to forgive her for all the pain an grief she has caused me. I lost 12 pounds of muscle. My grades have dropped, and im ****in freshmen. Its even worse because i am sleeping with people out of depression and when i think about that, i think about her sleeping with guys because she wants a fling, or maybe another lover. Makes me sick to my stomach and i would kill to have her back. As of right now, my friends around her have told me to forget about her and let her do her own thing. I feel the most pain due to the fact that she has moved on from me within a week of break up and that the man she choose is a copy of me. I believed that she could of been the one, even with all the pain and suffering. I thought this because she is such a good person and deserves good people. Because i know she is so caring, it is hard to hate her for what she did, and then it is harder to forget about her. I think to myself that she might come back when she realized that all my virtues and care were not to be repeated easily, and that i will always be there for her. I hate her for what she is doing, but i love her for all that she is. What should i do? What should i feel? What should i look for in the future?
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