downcydeguy Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 My first relationship lasted a little over 7 years - age 14 through 21 - before she left. Of course I was crushed but when I finally woke up, I realized that she and I never truly loved each other. It was more of a friendship. However, it was completely different with my recent g/f. I placed her on an unreachable pedestal once I realized how much she meant to me. Now that she's gone, I am experiencing true heartbreak for the first time. I've read many posts on here as well as talked to a lot of people about this subject. In many cases, people either had a much greater relationship with their 2nd love or are married to them. So, are our 1st loves really our firsts?
omegaRED Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 In my case, my 2nd "love" was the real love. Ofcourse, talking about serious relationships.
Tangerina Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 For me, yeah, the first one really was love, but the second one is proving to be a better, more mature, less infatuated kind of love... more comfortable and knowing (yet still very exciting!), the kind of thing that you could really base a life on... I think every love is just different, and you learn as you go... As I said, I think I am developing a higher quality love with my current boyfriend, though at the same time I am less attached to him at this point so I wouldn't be as devistated if he left because what I learned from my first heartbreak was... it happens... the first one was hardest for me because it was all I knew and it was hard to conceptualize that there could be more out there, even though of course I knew that... if my BF left me I would be devistated, but now I think I have more perspective on how things change and would be able to move on... does this mean that I have less potential for loving him? No, I think it means that I had gotten clingy after 3 years with my 1st love... hmmm.........
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