Usual story..annoying twist of lime!

[Apathygrip]

hey new member I hope to contribute as well as get some advice so here goes nothing--

So ya, me and my ex had been dating for about 3 years till about three weeks ago when we(she) came to the conclusion that it just isn't working. A couple big factors are that we didn't feel attracted to eachother anymore, we were not enjoying eachothers company as much as we usually did and were generally getting tired of the daily hum drum grind.The relationship was great we rarely fought(which I also thought was a factor in the break up) had a great run and truly and dearly loved eacvhother. When it ended we were both devastated, it was a long time coming but nonetheless hurt. Heres were it gets cool, after about 2 weeks of both of us being seperated and generally OK with it....she starts dating an old friend of mine(not a neccisarily good friend). I take it well and try to move on but it's alot to swallow, I figure well we may have seperated a couple weeks ago but felt like it was over longer.Prior to them hooking up though I tell her...do what you wan't but don't date a friend. Then tada!soo I need help advice something, we hang out at the same place so It can get wierd sometimes(and we have the same friends)

 

Here are some emails we sent eachother after she brought up the fact that we need time and space yet continued to show up to "our hangout" while I was there for further prodding.

-I sent

 

im sorry I made you feel like it was in your hands, the truth is these burdens are on my sholders alone. You will be you and everyone else themselves, I'm just growing up alot lately and have to learn how to cope. I really lost myself in our relationship and am now escaping an apathetic choke hold so to say and having a really hard time dealing with my emotions. I lamented our breakup for far too long(i guess), and when I look around everyone is still moving, you found someone and friends alike.there are plenty of things you could('ve) do to make this easier but it doesn't matter, I am dearly hurt, but it never felt so good to be alone and im strong enough to get past this.

I hope you and "your BF" do well together, in my heart I honestly do, but if for some reason it doesnt...dont be scared to be alone and really get to know who you are, it may surprize you. I too struggled with not being jon&jane or jon&person X and I guess I wish that I had someone to pick up my peices but it's not so bad strength comes from places you would never expect.Again I reitterate that this is not your burden to carry, you just confuse me sometimes and ask for one thing and do another, well anyway I'm jus babbling now/..........Take care!

 

___________

She replied

 

-

hmmm...i dont really know how to put things into words to say.... Im sorry I

hurt you...I truley am. That was not my intention, I didnt set out to hurt

you, and I hope you realize that. I know that I did hurt you and I truley

am sorry...but I also had to think of myself...I know that seems selfish,

but I had to follow my gut feeling. As far as saying one thing and doing

another goes... When I said we needed time and space, I meant that we

shouldnt go get coffee or hang out one on one and try to see each other as

little as possible, but I know thats hard since we kinda hang out with the

same people. I have been trying to go to starbucks as little as possile but

at the same time I cant COMPLETELY change around my lifestyle, ya know? I

know that sounds selfish, and im trying to make things a little easier, and

Im sorry if Im not doing a very good job.... Anyways, thats about all I can

think of to say for right now, so I hope you understand what im saying and

where Im coming from, take care.

 

 

___________

I replied

 

Weather you hurt me intentionaly or not is irrelevent, that is who you are, don't apologize for being you.I guess people change and forget to tell eachother.I don't really think you get what I'm saying.....I'm not asking YOU for anything, not to "change your lifestyle", not to avoid going to starbucks, not to apologize for hurting me. This all changed when you two decided to go behind my back and seek your own needs, regardless of what the person who spent almost everyday of 3 years with you felt. That knife was too sharp and my soul to thin, "your BF" never even talked to me about this or even asked how I felt.....I have known him for longer than I have known you so this says alot about what kind of people I'm dealing with. I could never ask the such for anything, nor will I at this point.

 

It's kind of Ironic cause the first day we broke up I told bob in a conversation that I could never date jill cause I respected joey too much, What happened to you jane? It's scarry to think that your gut was to do something like this....It;s not like when we broke up you hated me and did this out of spite(or did you). *sigh* this could of been soooo much easier, I asked you of nothing but one thing after this breakup.....and out of the kindness sympathy, or even pity of you heart you couldbn't do this? Were you actually completely over me in 2 weeks....honestly, from the depths of your heart were you?

 

I remember when you broke up with Jack we didn't start dating till months after.....I guess I just felt I deserved the same respect:(

 

 

 

you dont have to read it all ....just venting as well

[Enema]

You didn't really ask any question.

 

If you're asking for advice, it's always the same after breakups. NC.

 

That part of your life is now over and in 97.3% (accurate) of cases, no good can come of maintaining any sort of relationship with an ex-SO.

 

So do what the Enema does, clear out.

[Apathygrip]

NO any advice is good:) today she was arriving at starbucks and I took the initiative and left...