daisyduke1234 Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 In desperate need of advice.... I have been with my boyfriend for the past 6 years. After 6 years, we are still living separately, we're not engaged and no immediate plans to do so. Friends around me are getting married, having babies etc. and I have been feeling (for a while now) that this relationship doesn't appear to be going anywhere and everything is on his terms and conditions... Just recently we have been arguing a fair bit. Mainly over a difference of opinions. He is off on a winter ski holiday in Feb with a lot of strangers he has met on the internet. I did express an interest to come, but was told that this was something that he wanted to do by himself... Not happy about this, especially when I learn that the majority of the party is made up of women! In terms of a sexual relationship, sex is virtually non-existent, not that sex makes a relationship, don't get me wrong, but he just never seems interested in me that way. It upsets me because I feel that he doesn't find me sexually attractive anymore. It was my birthday fairly recently and we went shopping. I was really hoping he was going to pop the question, but he didn't. He knows that it means a lot to me, but he said he isn't interested in this and wouldn't be for a very long time. I have tried to approach him about moving out, but whenever I do I get told that I am being pushy - I can't see how that is being pushy after 6 years together! Anyway, I don't know whether it is because I am confused at the moment about my feelings for my boyfriend or whether I am in denial that the relationship has run its course, but I think I may have fallen/be falling for somebody else... This guy is so lovely, really lovely. We get on brilliantly, have lots in common and laughs (something I haven't done in a long time with my boyfriend). People have commented that we're very "flirty" with each other and it is obvious that we really like each other. I have started comparing this guy to my boyfriend and I can't stop thinking about him, I kind of miss him when he isn't around (the other guy) and I am attracted to him. BUT I don't know what to do... I'm not sure whether I am trying to find what is missing from my relationship with my boyfriend or whether I have just fallen in love with somebody else. Has anybody else been in this situation before or does anybody have any advice? Very confused.
MnkyGirl Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 I think you are on the right track. The interest in this other guy is because you are having issues with your current boyfriend. You are looking to find what is missing, the attention, sex and commitment. If your boyfriend can't give you those things after 6 years, wants to take a trip with women he met on the internet then there are some major issues. Maybe you two need a break, if you aren't living together or progressing in the way you want then a break might work. Maybe this way you can feel free to date or see another guy and he can sit and realize what he had and lost, maybe he would change. I am not telling you to go right out and break up with the man after 6 years, you love him, it isn't that easy. You might want to be open and honest with him and tell him how you feel, how you aren't happy. If he doesn't respond or doesn't change or even try to work things out then you will know where is heart is. I do find it odd you have been together so long and not even engaged. Tell him you think you need a break, you want more out of life and aren't getting it...see what he says...if that is what you want after all.
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