wantedandhopeless Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 Hi!! (I'm in highschool at the moment) Ok, i really really really like this girl and I'm fairly sure she likes me, but she keeps showing signs that she does and then shows signs that she doesn't.. It's really confusing and i want to know if i may just be interpreting things incorrectly. So here goes my story: It started with a few looks at each other from across the class.. nothing much... Then one day she adds me to msn messenger because she needed to ask me physics questions (but they were never asked and i assuming this is good). After that we talked for about 2-3 weeks everyday for about 2-3 hours (again im assuming this is good). Adventually i asked her out and she said yes... but we didn't do anything, but we never ended up going out because we were both too busy at the moment. After a while i got the notion that she only said yes so that I wouldnt be hurt, so i asked her quite blatently if she was still interested and she said "i want to, but im sooo busy (:() that i have no life and i dont wnat oyu to be waiting as you are now for a long time. thats really unfair to you." Ever since, we havent really talked as much on msn, but we've talked a lot more at school. And recentley (like today) I notice that she keeps glancing at me (quick glances) or constantly turning her head in my direction right before she askes the person behind her a question or get something out of her bag. She also, I believe, blushes when I walk by her and say hi in the halls when she is with other people. The reason why I'm so confused is because she said yes to going out, but for some reason, she's always too booked to do anything. She doesnt talk as much on msn which is a bad thing in my opinion... but she talks a lot more in school which is a god thing... I havent tried the personal space thing, but when i walk down the halls with her i can litterally walk right, and i mean like almost touching, beside her and she shows no sign of moving away. Also, if i tap her on the shoulder as i walk by to say hi, she turns around, smiles, and if she's not with a bunch of friends comes after me to talk for a few seconds. As you can see, she's (from my point of view) showing me a yes and no at the same time... The YES' being: 1) talking in the halls a lot. (more now..) 2) doesnt mind me being close to her. (more now.. ) 3) doesnt flinch when i touch her. (before and now) 4) recent blushin to some degree when i say hi to her when she's with friends. (recent) 5) I've caught her quickly glancing at me multiple times (like 10-15 times per class). (recent) 6) the saying yes to going out (before and after..but more before) 7) seems to care about my well being.. if i seem stressed she'll show concern (current) 8) near the begining of the year, she always asked me for help in every class we had together (used to) 9) at the begining of the year, she always said hi to me in the morning (used to) 10) talked everyday for about 2-4 hours on msn. (used to) The NO's being: 1) she doesn't talk as much on msn anymore. (current) 2) said yes to going out, but also said she was too busy at the moment meaning (in my point of view) a no. (dont know when) 3) has stopped saying hi to me in the mornings... she does but on a rare occasion... like mabey 1 once in the past 2 weeks. (current) 4) has pretty much stopped asking me for help in school. (current) Im sorry if this came out really confusing.... but as you can guess... im super confused... any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.. thank you!!
LexiB Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 Sounds like you're in the "friend boat' to me. Fromwhat you've written it seems like she really does like you ~ but not in the way you want. Her saying yes to going out with you..then making exuses not to go (trust me, if you like someone you'll find a way to spend time with them, no matter how busy you are!)...but still being friendly with you, is a testament to that. In other words, she agreed to go out with you to avoid hurting your feelings. Bluntly saying "no" would have put a damper on the friendship you two were building, no? Yeah, it's twisted (ok, "cowardly" is a better word!) but I've done something similar myself for the same reason I think if you stopped pushing for the date and just let things fall back into friendship mode, she'll eventually start being her old self around you again. It's letting her off the hook, but it's the best way to avoid unecessary awkwardess and save the friendship. At this point it really doesn't seem like your buddy has a romantic interest in you so why keep pushing and make her tell you that? Keep in mind this is only if you're ok with just being friends. If your only goal is an actual relationship, you could try talking to her about how you feel but seems like this is a dead end. Good Luck!
wantedandhopeless Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 Well... thanks for the advice.. This is what i was assuming, but there were a few things i forgot to mention which may change the situation a little... first off, I have blatentley told her in the past to say "no" if that's what she wanted and that friendship would be fine, but when i told her, she sort of just laughed and looked at me in one of those "your soo hopeless" fashions. secondly, I dont think she was actually making up excuses... she really did have stuff which came up.. i mean, the day we were suspose to get together, she emailed me her cell number to phone her so that she could know where I was meeting her and then told me that something came up then appologized for 20 mins. and we've only really tried to get together once... and the other events which we were suspose to go to, i myself was almost not going to go to due to the work load (and she is soooo much busier than me...) 3) SHE was the one who prompted me to ask her out and she even knew ahead of time that i liked her... so she could have easily come up with a better answer than "yes" then smile and giggle... I mean she litterally set me up.. she told me she was free.. told me how to ask people out.. even told me how to kiss... I even told her that i was afraid of asking people out because I was afraid of losing that person as a friend and she said you'll never know if you never try (and she even knew that meant asking her out!@#!@#!@#) 4) I've tolder her that if me flirting with her (currently) made her feel uncomfortable that she should tell me so and all she says (quickly when i asked) is that it doesnt and that it's ok (im assuming that means im allowed?) 5) She also randomly calls me sweet and cute... not sure if that good or bad... Ok ok.. i guess im in denile.. But i think it would be a lot easier if i just walked up to her and asked her straight out what the hell was going on between us.. because this is seriously screwing up a friendship i want to start and keep. Oh one last questions.. if she only wants to be friends.. how am i suspose to ask her if she wants to do something as a friend without making it seem like im asking her out??
LexiB Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 oh wow. well when you add in all that other stuff--especially if she really pushed for you to ask her out--I can see why you're confused! Since it's bothering you, yeah, just ask her wtf is going on (in a much nicer way of course!). If she says she wants to hang out with you as friends or otherwise, see if that happens without you being the one to set it up/initiate. You've been the one pushing this so far but now you gotta just step back and let her pursue you a bit--which she will do if she's interested.
wantedandhopeless Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 Ya, I guess I'll just lay off for a while, let her sort things out herself. I didn't mean to be that pushy, I'll have to watch out from now on. Thanx.
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