ellymay Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 Hi I am new I just found this forum so bear with me..... My husband just informed me that he doesn't love and care about me anymore and doesn't know if he ever will again.....IDK why or how this even started. I mean we fight but things in my eyes have been alot better lately other than I have been feeling as though he doesn't want to be with me but yet he still tells me he loves me. I am so depressed I am pg with a planned pregnancy and I have 2 other children to care for and I don't know how bc I am so depressed and I just feel like curling up into a ball and crying forever.....I love him so much and I hurt every time I look at him and he won't even acknowledge my existance. I want nothing more than to be with him till the day I die but I know he doesn't want that and I just wish I knew what I did to make him that way. I have never so much as even come close to cheating on him and never would and I usually keep the house pretty clean except here recently bc I have been so sick with this baby. I am a SAHM and I am here taking care of the kids 24/7 with most of the time no help from him. I just don't know our sex life well if it were up to me it would be just about every day but he doesn't want it and he says he feels nothing sexually at all for anyone even me so we don't have sex but maybe once a week and I have to beg for that. I just feel so alone and IDK what to do bc I don't really have anywhere to go and he wants me and the kids out. I am hurting so bad my whole body hurts and I feel so depressed. I just want him to love me like he used to I am a good person a good wife and a good mother and he won't even argue that so what am I supposed to go whore myself around to get him to realize he loves me???? I won't do that but what what can I do???
Author ellymay Posted November 16, 2005 Author Posted November 16, 2005 btw we have been married going on 4yrs.
symbol Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 ellmay, I am very sorry to hear about your story... I am sure you are a great wife and a great mother. You know, it's not about you. It's about him! Don't think you are doing something wrong. May be if you give him and yourself some time, no talking about your marriage, no crying, no physical contact unless he wants it... I have recently been dumped by my boyfriend of 8 years! At first I tried everything that I could to get him back... I called him constantly (we are on LDR), sent him emails every so often, trying to remind him of our good times, trying to remind him how much he loved me... I cried on the phone for 3 hours! I begged... NOTHING WORKED. What is even worse is that he got even pissed off because I wasn't given him his space, that I was forcing him to do things my way. I think it is the same thing with you. I am sure you think that you would lose him if you don't try to make him love you again. Truth is, you're making things worse this way. Let him act as he wants - as long as it's not abusive. Give him time and space. Try to be cheerful and indifferent rather than depressed. Cheerful is more attractive you know. Don't let him think that you are nothing without him. He should see how strong you are. And you should be strong! Good luck with everything...
suegail Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 What a lousy thing to do to you and especially at a time like this when you're about to have another baby. I just don't understand people sometimes and frankly with some (such as this guy) it doesn't seem worth the effort to try. It's just a cruel thing to do, dropping this bomb on you and giving you no other options other than to leave. I don't know what you can do other than to try and convince him that counseling would be/could be helpful to you both. Has he no sense of loyalty whatsoever? I'm just so sorry you're going through this and I am sorry for your kids too. I hope you have some people in your life, someone to turn to for support. I do so much hope things get better for you....
scobro Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 DO not leave the house you and the kids do not have to go anywhere tell that @#$hole to leave period.
Devildog Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 scobro is right, you don't have to go anywhere. So do you think the OW is from work or some "friend" of his?
Author ellymay Posted November 16, 2005 Author Posted November 16, 2005 symbol - I don't mind leaving him alone but as soon as I do he starts being mean and calling me names just to see me cry. I have no friends near by so I have noone to talk to. suegail - We have been to couseling and all he does is sit there and won't talk and if he does say anything he changes the subject to something that doesn't matter. scobro, devildog - If I don't leave he will make mine and the kids life he** by yelling at everyone and just all around being a jerk. I just can't stop crying. I want him to love me so much but how can you make someone love you who doesn't. I am now thinking that maybe he is seeing someone else and that is why he is saying this. IDK what is going on but something has to be. It would just kill me if he is bc even when we separated a couple of years ago I had my ex trying to get back with me and I said no bc I wasn't going to so much as even kiss someone else unless we were divorced. I grew up in a home with my dad cheating constantly and saw all the hurt it caused and bc of that I won't and wouldn't no matter what ever do that.
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