yadidibooboo Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 i've been going out w/ my gf for about a week, everything is going good but she thinks our relationship is only consisting of physical stuff (hugging, holding hands). But im having this problem, and ive had this problem w/ her before (thats why we broke up before) its cause im not talking...here's what she wants me to do: she wants me to talk to her and she wants to know me better but the thing is im REALLY shy! like REALLY REALLY.. i really try to talk, but there's nothing to really talk about, anyways i need some help getting over my shyness
Author yadidibooboo Posted November 16, 2005 Author Posted November 16, 2005 but like she wants to find things out in a conversation, like she finds stuff out as im telling her, like a teacher giving information, and you're the student...you have to find the stuff out...and im trying to get over my shyness
Pyro Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 i've been going out w/ my gf for about a week, everything is going good but she thinks our relationship is only consisting of physical stuff (hugging, holding hands). But im having this problem, and ive had this problem w/ her before (thats why we broke up before) its cause im not talking...here's what she wants me to do: she wants me to talk to her and she wants to know me better but the thing is im REALLY shy! like REALLY REALLY.. i really try to talk, but there's nothing to really talk about, anyways i need some help getting over my shyness I am sure that you like this girl. Part of liking a girl is getting to know her. So ask questions about her and her life. I am sure that hearing her answers will give you many ideas on what to talk about back to her.
Author yadidibooboo Posted November 16, 2005 Author Posted November 16, 2005 thanks for the advice...oh and in the first line i clearly state that i've been going out with her for a week
Pyro Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 thanks for the advice...oh and in the first line i clearly state that i've been going out with her for a week You obviously can't know her all that well if it has been only a week. You must have a ton of questions to ask. good luck.
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 Well I'll tell you what usually sparks good conversation with my SO... reading loveshack posts together! We read something and then talk about our responses. The advice we would give to the poster is usually different and sparks good conversation
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 I have another idea. You could always do the "Which would you rather...." game. For example, it can be used to find out their ideas of romance (would you rather stroll down the beach hand in hand at sunset, or have a picnic at the park?). You can learn what qualities they look for in a mate (would you rather date someone who's intelligent or patient?) You can learn about their fears (Would you rather run into a burning building or skydive out of an airplane?) You can learn about their beliefs (Would you rather go deer hunting or shoot a PETA member?) I think the number of options you could come up with are infinite. And of course if you're afriad you won't be able to think of them during the moment, do some homework, write a bunch down and then make a draw pile. You can play it like cards or something.
slubberdegullion Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 Would you rather go deer hunting or shoot a PETA member? makes mental note to use that with animal-rights friends
NYCmitch25 Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 i've been going out w/ my gf for about a week, everything is going good but she thinks our relationship is only consisting of physical stuff (hugging, holding hands). But im having this problem, and ive had this problem w/ her before (thats why we broke up before) its cause im not talking...here's what she wants me to do: she wants me to talk to her and she wants to know me better but the thing is im REALLY shy! like REALLY REALLY.. i really try to talk, but there's nothing to really talk about, anyways i need some help getting over my shyness Unfortunetly, one can't instantly be cured of this IMO. This is going to be a 'life-long' work in progress where I think you are going to always want to be an intravert to some degree and you'll have to force yourself into not regressing back into extremes. There are a lot of ways to look at this, I've come to the conclusion that being a complete introvert works against you and cripples your social skills which has far reaching problems with communicating with people and getting friends and support. Another way to look at this is to just say "thats what I am" and find a girl that is more like you (or chalk it up as opposites attract). I guess you can decide what is best for you, but if you wish to persue a more "outgoing" outlook on life, I think you'll be rewarded for it. The good thing is that being mindful of this is a big first step, and you've already accomplished that, now maybe being proactive about social interaction is a cheap 2nd step which may be good enough. I would suggest that you get to the point where you learn the art of communication by practicing on unsuspecting strangers in the community. Make small talk with the check-out counter folks/seniors/kid/etc, think of things that are funny to say, and basically seek chances to communicate with people don't just wait for others to talk to you. The good thing about strangers is that if you come off like a fool it doesn't matter, you'll prob never see them again. Regarding this gal you are seeing it's simple, open up to her! If you never really have anything to say or you aren't introspective about yourself at all, you probably want to change that a little, it's always good to be mindful of your feelings and weakness and strengths. She probably wants a little passion, and maybe to get into your head a little, so let her! Tell her that you are a bit of an introvert and that you feel it's why you are the perverbial Ying to her Yang, tell her you hate the NY Giants, tell her that you *love* the NY Giants. Tell her your favorite time of year is Fall because it feels exciting and the color of leaves remind you of your childhood. Try to get into her head, find out things about her past and her long term goals and use it as a chance to share. Does this seem strange or very uncomfortable to you? Can you do this? If you can't do these things you may want to seek professional help? The reason I say this is it's kind of key for couples to have common goals and such. I guess this could all be wrong becaus I don't know you but I'm sure some of this info may be useful.. good luck!
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