My cheating ex-fiance called to yell at me.

[SMHappyface]

My sick saga of this relationship is plastered all over LS, but here is the update. Last night my ex-fiance calls me up basically here is the gist of the conversation:

 

C: "Hello"

Me: "Hey"

C: "How are you doing?"

Me: "I'm doing alright"

C: "Did you have a good weekend?"

Me: "It wasn't the best"

C: "Why the hell would you go behind my back and talk to my best friend and **** with our relationship - if you wanted answers, you could've asked me directly!"

Me: "I did, you never told me"

C: "Then why did you snoop around in my business?"

Me: "I didn't, T called me"

C: "BullSh**!"

Me: "Ask her, I swear she did!"

C: "Whatever, if you wanted to know something, all you had to do was ask me"

Me: "Ok"

C: "Well, what do you want to know?"

Me: "What is going on with you and Y?"

C: "Well, we are getting to know each other"

Me: "Are you dating her?"

C: "No"

Me: "Did you sleep with her?"

C: "No"

Me: "Why are you lying to me?"

C: "I'm not lying"

Me: "Why did you tell all your family we are broken up?"

C: "We are"

Me: "That's not what you told me"

C: "Yes I did"

Me: "Ok"

C: "So you have any more questions?"

Me: "Does Y have a pair of lucky jeans?" (He had mentioned that he liked them just after he met her)

C: "Yes"

Me: "How did you know lucky jeans had 'Your lucky' written on the crotch?"

C: "We do laundry together"

Me: "Ok, So does she know you came to my house on Thursday?"

C: "She knows I came over, didn't you Y? She's right here"

Me: "Put her on the phone, I want her to know you were fooling around with me."

C: "No"

Me: "She doesn't know you never broke it off with me, does she"

C: "Whatever"

Me: "Either your cheating on her or me"

C: "Whatever"

Me: "So what do you mean, if you are going to trade in, you'd trade up and her being so F***ing nasty that you couldn't get if up if she was naked?"

C: "She treats me nice - she cooks me three meals a day"

(I know for a fact that she doesn't know how to cook, and her mother cooks for them all at the cabin

Me: "Ok"

C: "Anything else?"

Me: "Well, what did you mean you weren't hoeing around and were on a break?"

C: "I'm not, she and I have nothing to do with you and me breaking up!"

Me: "Alrighty, you made your choice, I'll respect that."

C: "I won't take this ****, we are BROKEN UP! There is no hope EVER in the future!"

Me: "Well, thanks for being finally honest with something"

C: "I'm always honest"

Me: "No you're not, you know what you did, but I'm not going to give a play by play."

C: "Whatever"

*SILENCE*

C: "Well, I will still be your friend, I've never broken up with any of my girlfriends on bad terms"

Me: "I can only be friends with honest people"

C: "Well, whatever"

*SILENCE*

C: "Well, I have to go, bye"

Me: "G'bye"

 

I was shaking when I got off the phone. My dad took me to down and we walked it off in the mall - my appetite died for the rest of the day (so my caloric intake for the day was 1/2 sandwich).

 

When I got back, I talked with my mom who had been visiting a friend who was neighbors with my ex - upon hearing the news, she assumed it was another girl - my ex's MUCH older (his senior by almost 8 years with three kids) ex-girlfriend who he had when he was 17. My mom asked about that, and he had been going over there for favors last summer. Another girl he wouldn't let me meet and there had been another ex that called him a lot. I do not think this Y girl is the first and I had been cheated on much more than I had thought. I wondered why he would go days without caring if he saw me or touched me, when he practically couldn't keep his hands off of me for so long.

 

Wow, my eyes have been opened. What a A***hole! How could I have been so blind?

[In Sync]

I am sorry, I am so sorry that you had to endure that exchange with him.

[bendit]

two words: caller ID

[Art_Critic]

Why did you talk to him ???

 

Welcome back to square one..

[Natalie05]

What do you see in this guy? You need to stay out of his life, initiate no contact and move on. He sounds like a cad and as long as you're jealous and hurt he's got all the power (and seems to enjoy playing you).

[SMHappyface]

I took the call because I wanted to hear from him that he had cheated, which he STILL has not admitted totally. (This is the first contact I had from him since I had learned of the cheating) In a way this phone call was good because it put to rest any remaining questions I might have had that somehow this whole thing had been a misunderstanding. After that I was shaking, but felt a peace. Today I smiled for the first time and sang a few notes in the shower. It's like I now see that the relationship was NOT what I thought it was and showed me what an ass-hole he was. (My mind played tricks thinking perhaps his friends and family were lying to me about him cheating). From now on, I am choosing to refuse to talk to him. I didn't act jealous or angry on the phone and haven't since our fight almost a month ago. I told him to move on and I wouldn't bother him. If he calls again, I'll hang up. I'm planning on moving at least a state away maybe more (thinking CA, I live in NY). Start a new life and do what I WANT to do for a bit

[NoFaith05]

Where in California do you plan to move to? I live in LA. I could give you some advice if you need it. Your situation is VERY similar to mine. I can't for the life of me understand what I ever saw in my evil ex GF.

[SMHappyface]

Thanks for the advice - not sure, just a random idea at the moment. I did something stupid - was looking through old pictures and saw nice ones of me and my ex, oh the heart-break!

[NoFaith05]

I think what I did was worse! I went to her My Space page (after not going there for several months) only to find out that she was in a new relationship, and that she has been with this guy since just a few weeks after we broke up!

 

I'm from New York by the way.

[SMHappyface]

My ex just won't give it up. He called last night to ask where I wanted him to leave some of my stuff he found in his car. I politely answered the conversation and then he wants to know what I'm doing. I gave a brief answer of playing with my dog because he was being civil, then he blathers how he wanted me to know he's not mad at me and bla bla bla. I ended up hanging up on him because he was going on some psycho-rant about how I was giving up on us and pressuring him (I haven't talked to him and done strict NC for two weeks!) and he was the one that broke up with ME a week ago! His stories don't add up, so I told him to leave me alone and NOT contact me anymore. The boy needs to see a shrink!! I need to get away from this drama.

[Sami_D]

the relationship was NOT what I thought it was and showed me what an ass-hole he was

 

Are you sticking to this perspective..? Or giving in to another way of looking at it.

[SMHappyface]

Yes he is still a total ass-hole and a pycho. Just sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. I made a list of all the awful things he has done and I read them whenever I double-guess myself. My friend Kristy keeps reminding me - "If you were told about him to go on a blind date, would you?" Of course NOT "so why would you want to get married to him?" good point. Breaking up is hard to do, but my logic usually keeps myself in check most days.

[scobro]

My friend Kristy keeps reminding me

 

I love Kristy she was always there for me too, tell her I said hello would you, we go way back together:p God I miss her

 

I think you need to go not just no contact but no no no not ever never contact because i have read your posts etc and you seem fine until you talked to him now it seems you go back many steps with healing when you talk to this wanker and you get yourself all reved up.

[In Sync]

no no no not ever never contact.

 

That's funny...can I have your permission to borrow that line.

[SMHappyface]

I think you need to go not just no contact but no no no not ever never contact because i have read your posts etc and you seem fine until you talked to him now it seems you go back many steps with healing when you talk to this wanker and you get yourself all reved up.

 

Your too funny scobro! I am staying at my parents until I get myself moved to another location (don't wanna stay at OUR apartment even if he's living w/his new girlfriend), but my dad told him he'll call the cops if he comes here and my mom won't let me talk. I have nothing more to say. It's over and I need to stay strong and not allow myself to wallow. It's hard not to after you've been with the guy for years, but this is so sick!

[scobro]

Nobody's thinking of Kristy here, what about how she feels?.If you move what will that do to her?Lets not forget the girl who puts the F.U. in FUN and the ice in nice.I will not allow her to get hurt in this and if your ex even goes near her im coming over to New York from Toronto and I will open up a can of Whoop Ass.

[SMHappyface]

I'm assuming you know a Kristy? My friend doesn't live in NY, but was my college roommate. Perhaps a different one, but a great friend non-the-less. You look like you could take him scobro

[scobro]

Im just being a moron, forgive me

[SMHappyface]

Ahhh, Kristy can take care of her own. Even if my ex IS a 2nd degree black belt, she kicked him in the head once I don't think he'll bother her. Plus, he may act tough, but he's still a very little messed up boy in search of a mommy.

[scobro]

Why don't you want to still live in the apartment is it the memories or did you not really like the apartment or the lazy landlord.?

[SMHappyface]

The tenants above me are very noisy, all my friends are at least 2 hours away and it's a boring town. I'm moving back to be with my friends and where the fun is - whoohoo!