foolhearted Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I you know the name, number or address of your cheating partners OM is it psych to call and tell her what is going on? Obviously if she doesn't know already.
JadeStar Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I think that has to be up to you. Just know a few things before of if you do. One its possible that if you tell them, they may not believe you calling you a liar etc. Or they may go off on you, you never know someones frame of mind they may be in when hearing such a thing. Or they may just laugh it off as a joke and think nothing of it. Then again they may know. I understand people feel that others have the right to know whats going on, but I think that in most cases if they don't already they will eventually find out, then that way if you don't tell your hands are clean of it. Jade
Author foolhearted Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 I am not talking about some one i I know though. I am the one he is cheating on. I just want this other girl to know swo she will go away and stop calling him.
lilmoma1973 Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 Go for it let them know !! wouldn't you want to know!! i WOULD WANT TO KNOW !! raTHER to know than not know!!
Author foolhearted Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 Do you think there is any way to let her know w/o him knowing I told her?
Hot Coco Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 Is it just me...but I don't get this one? huh??????? I'd answer but I just don't understand.
a4a Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 If he is cheating who gives a rats ass if he finds out you told her? Are you sure he is indeed cheating or is this just the start of a fling? I would so confront her if he is really cheating.... who cares if you told her or if the friggin easter bunny told her! a4a
Author foolhearted Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 What is the difference between cheating and a fling?
JadeStar Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 What is the difference between cheating and a fling? Nothing really, other than a "fling" might just be a one time thing. Its still cheating basically. Jade
lilmoma1973 Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 Nothing really, other than a "fling" might just be a one time thing. Its still cheating basically. Jade Fling can be a one night stand !! Still cheating no matter what !! You have sex with someone else other than your partner its cheating !!
Author foolhearted Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 And I guess it would be a stupid assumption that just because he comes home every night does not mean he isn't having sex w/ other people?
a4a Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 There is obviously some missing info here from the OP. Why in the world would she care if her SO finds out if she is the one who contacted the OW unless she is not sure if something is really going on. My reference to a "starting Fling" meant not a serious cheating as of yet.... to include dinners out ect..... it is cheating EA standards of sort..... but not out and out humpity dumpity doo dah...... I noticed OP was interested in that wording as well..... whats up OP... you want real advice? gotta lay it all out, even if you think you won't shine in the end. a4a
JadeStar Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I am freaking lost here! Ok are you the one he is cheating WITH? Or are you the one he is cheating ON? If you're the one he is cheating on, what makes you feel this way? And as far as you saying something about "assuming" its never good to "assume" anything until you have the facts. Jade
Author foolhearted Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 Sory I am not telling saying it right. He is cheating on me. He has been calling another women while we live together. We went to a concert together about am month ago and I was talking to this women. She was by herself and seemed nice so all three of us started talking. At the end of the night I got her number because she seemed like a cool person and maybe all of us could meet up again some day. No big deal. I forgot all about the # and left it on the desk at home. The other day he was listening to his voicemail and the volume was so loud I could hear the message. It was from the women we meet at the concert . She had made the comment that she was confused as to why he was calling because she thought when we all meet I was his girlfriend. He did not realize that I could hear the message and when I asked who it was he lied and said it was one of his guy friends. I called him out on the lie and we proceeded to fight. He said he saw the # one day and just decided to say hello , but lied because he thought I would freak out. The next day I found ou the called her back and told her we broke up. NEWS TO ME! We live together. He said he did so because he was mad at me and wanted to make me angry. He then said he would not talk to her any more. As you may guess I did not trust him and looked in his cell phone . I took down some of the recent calls and headed to the web. The number s belong to this same women. Now I know her full name anddress and the place were she works. I can tell by the recent calls that for the most part she is the one calling him. I don't think that they have been meeting up with each other as of yet, but I am not sure. I wanted her to know that he and I were in fact still toghter so sh ewould stop calling him. H eobviously does not mind that she is. I know that it is said, but I just want this women to stop calling stop excepting his calls. The problem is I know that if I call her and he finds out he will be angry with me and leave. W ehave been going through some hard times recently and I don't want to push him over the edge. We have been together for almost 3 yrs. now and I don't want to give that up.
Hot Coco Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I am freaking lost here! Ok are you the one he is cheating WITH? Or are you the one he is cheating ON? If you're the one he is cheating on, what makes you feel this way? And as far as you saying something about "assuming" its never good to "assume" anything until you have the facts. Phew! I thought it was me. I swear I STILL don't get this one. There's no WAY I'd even attempt an answer. I just don't understand any of it! And every time I think I get it, I realize from something else said that I don't! This reminds me of that "Who's on First?" joke!!!! Oops...sorry just saw where you clarified.
Hot Coco Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 Oh, OK. NOW, I get it! DUH! Well, I know you want us to say you should call her...so go ahead and call her BUT it won't change the fact that your b/f is the problem. He'll probably do it again. You're lucky you're finding out that he's like that NOW instead of AFTER you get married. I'd start planning my getaway if I were you but I know that's not what you want.
a4a Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 Let me get this straight....... hummmm....... guy is probably dickin this new concert chicky and you are afraid you are going to upset him when he finds out you know about it and do not approve of what he is doing to you? Lets just stamp a big ole WELCOME on your head and replace that old doormat with you? This is not the way a solid relationship works........ you are heading down a serious road with respect and safety issues with this guy. Are you going to call the other woman when you get a good case of the old herpes too and hide it from dear Bf? Confront him..... discuss it.... decided to dump him or not..... you are both playing games with each other...... a4a
JadeStar Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 Ok I see now, well had you explained all of this in your original post we could have saved ourselves from the hassle of trying to figure out what you were meaning. IMO, call her. Tell her in a nice non-accusstory way that you do not understand why she keeps calling your b/f. It would be interesting to hear what she has to say. Highly possible she will say she didn't know you all were still dating and that your b/f told her you all broke up etc. Thats his ploy to her, so he can have his cake and eat it too. Hes lying, being deceitful etc. Call her, tell her you all are still together, but not anymore, and that if she wants him she can have him. Then afterwards tell your b/f C YA! Jade
lilmoma1973 Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I am freaking lost here! Ok are you the one he is cheating WITH? Or are you the one he is cheating ON? If you're the one he is cheating on, what makes you feel this way? And as far as you saying something about "assuming" its never good to "assume" anything until you have the facts. Jade im lost who is doing what is it you or someone else !! it sounded like you knew someone that was cheating on their s/o and you was asking should you tell from the post you mad and your replys.. what is it you or someone else?
Author foolhearted Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 He is cheating on me. I explained it a little bit better in # 14. Sorry for the confussion
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