Cat-ty Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 hey, this is my first post and unfortunatley it's not a happy one. My first boyfriend who I dated for 2 years moved away to university. We stayed together and my main rules were for him not to go to a strip club and not to cheat. He knew perfectly well that I was serious about this. Then when he came home for the summer I found out he had gone to a strip club and got a lap dance. He lied and told me that the stripper was wearing underwear and a bra and only after did I find out that she's naked and dry humps him. I broke up with him during the summer but then a few months later we got back together again. He said he won't get lap dances while he is in a relationship w/ me and that he only went the first time because he was curious of what it was like and it was the last day of school. I don't know how to feel about this. I absolutely dread the idea of a lap dance ESPECIALLY when the guy is in a relationship. I feel defeated and confused and am not sure whether or not I should forgive him or forget him. Please tell me what U think i should do.
bunnzy Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 How did you find this all out? And strippers do not dry hump someone when they are naked, so check your facts... unless he was at a brothel... Move on if you asked him not to, and he did anyway, you are better off without him.
Author Cat-ty Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 I found out what happens at a strip club from my bestfriend who talked to her two guy friends about it. I asked a few other people if it's true that a stripper dry humps the guy and all of them said yes. So, when I found this out (after me and him started to go out again) I asked him to tell me the truth and he con't to lie and said that she is dressed but then finally admitted that she ws naked and dry humped him (after putting a hankerchief on his crotch). So from most of the people I asked they said that thats the way their lap dance was.
Author Cat-ty Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 oh...about the initial fact that he got a lap dance, he actually told me. he said it was the last day of school so he went w/ a group of ppl
LadyCapricorn081 Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I'm sorry... but it's just a strip club... that is what men do.. I don't get these women who are freaking out over porn or Strip joints... Was your man out getting laid by other girls... if so.. then you have an issue... But he misses you and is bored... men like to SEE. I mean.. if he stuck is D$$k up her.. then flip the Fu@k out on hiim... but get over it.. guys are always going to look@!@!@@@ I would rather them look.. and tell you.. then To act on his 2nd brain down below. And the reason he lied about it.. is cause you forbidded it... if someone tells you "okay boy... here are the rules... " you don't put rules on anyone until you are married.. when you are "Dating" the rules are meant to be broken... you guys need to get over the strip joints and porn issues... your lives could be so much worse and you don't even know it.. stop blowing up on your man@
a4a Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I'm sorry... but it's just a strip club... that is what men do.. I don't get these women who are freaking out over porn or Strip joints... Was your man out getting laid by other girls... if so.. then you have an issue... @ I often wonder what husband and boyfriends would think if they saw their SO getting a lap dance with a huge wang in their face from a super hot guy! I would imagine the tables would turn Not all men want to go to strip clubs or get lap dances..... a4a
Author Cat-ty Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 ok, porn is one thing...thats just him and his hand...a strip club and a stripper is whole different thing. thats a real person grinding on his crotch...so what difference does it make whether its a stripper on him or the next door girl in his dorm? ...either way i think thats called CHEATING
MrsP Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 On the way to my future sister-in-law's "bachelorette dinner" (yes, just a nice dinner with drinks), she shared the funny story of my little brother's bachelor party. He tells her exactly where the buddies are planning to take him, agrees not to get to drunk and then CALLS her from the bathroom of the place in stitches to tell her that the #$%^ on the walk don't have anything on her. He checks in another time before they leave to describe the big-butted, well-used ditz his best man picked for the "requisite lapdance." He took her flowers the next morning and begged her to do something to get the image of those wanna-be hookers out of his mind. They both laugh about it now and my brother has a bride that knows he absolutely LOVEs her. He may have enjoyed more than he let on or missed out on some parts of the night, but he made everything transparent and non-threatening which made his future wife feel OK.
slubberdegullion Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 ...strippers do not dry hump someone when they are naked... Wanna bet?
Art_Critic Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 And strippers do not dry hump someone when they are naked, I agree with slub on this one.. That is what strippers do.. dry hump you while they are naked..lap dances done right are just that you are not allowed to touch them though.. unless you go to the vip room and pay more..
RainyDayWoman Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 Wanna bet? i was going to say the same exact thing. it amazes me what people believe...or just have no clue about.
amandine Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 you don't put rules on anyone until you are married.. Wow, uh, no. Rules are meant to be practiced. What better way to show a man what he's getting than by putting your foot down once in a while rather than springing your issues on him after marriage? Though I wholeheartedly agree that strip clubs are just a night on the town, this is her relationship to set limits on. If he broke a clearly defined one, I would be weird about taking the dude back. BUT now that she has... she has to let go of the strip club incident, move on, and accept his want for it never to happen again. Should he break his promise one more time, and especially lie about it again, it's time to wave bye-bye and never look back.
chrissy123 Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 And strippers do not dry hump someone when they are naked, so check your facts... unless he was at a brothel... Actually from the one time I have went to one of these places to see what goes on all the strippers were dry humping the guys and sticking their breasts in the guys faces for them to suck on them. So just becuase you have never seen this doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Also, why should she not flip out? Just because you might be ok or because someone esle might be ok with their bf having a naked chick dry hump them doesn't mean everyone esle is. Some people consider this cheating. I know if I walked into our apartment and saw some chick naked dry and humping my bf I would dump him no questions asked or if I heard how he went to a strip club and had a chick grinding on him. I don't understand how just because he paid for it makes it "ok" and "not cheating". To answer your question though what I think you should do is give him one more chance and if he ever goes again dump him and find a guy who will respect your feelings.
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