In Sync Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 I'm not belittling or knocking anybody's breakup, and perhaps that is why I have gotten annoyed when those who tend to say get over it or think you can easily snap out of this darkness like it's a choice that I want to be here. I'm not a stranger to having lost a boyfriend or a hookup but when you've truly opened your heart and given it to someone the effect of losing them has a profound effect. One does not snap out of it. No matter how much exercising or hanging out with mates or activities you can keep busy with. So this heart of mine is in pieces. And from what I've been reading I'm not alone here. I hate this place I am finding myself in. I am angry because I didn't deserve to be hurt by him. Or disrespected. And it's cruel that these heartless PD people walk around inflicting pain on those who loved them. I can't find closure because it this wasn't a nice guy sit down over dinner breakup, there was a lot of emotional investment and when the rug is pulled from under your feet...it's shocking. And the mind can stop trying to figure out what happened and what went arong until you've exhausted every possibility in explanation and still it's incomprehensible. That's why I feel some breakups are different the ones that scar you and change you from who you were yesterday are simply on another level.
JohnJohn Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 IS, No disrespect intended and I understand what you are saying, but what else do you expect us to say? NOT get over it? I feel for you for the loss of your mother. I think, as others have said before. that loss has magnified your other situation some. I lost my father a few years back not too long after I had a bad breakup. I didn't think I'd make it but I did. So I understand what you are going through. Everyone else told me the same things that you are hearing now. Of course it isn't fair being ran over by a personality disordered freak. I can relate. These folks run amok through society. Most of us on here have been infected by them. We can only do our best to heal and learn from it as not to ever go through this hell again. I don't know what else you want to hear. All breakups are different, of course, but sometimes we might think ours is the worst of all time because we are biased. I know you are suffering but give yourself credit for the progress that you have made, even if you think in your mind that it is minimal. Best wishes, J
Author In Sync Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 JohnJohn Forgive my rant and raves, I was I am in a funk I suppose. I know you have exhausted yourself by every conceivable piece of advise. I'm just resisting hearing it and now I'm just wallowing in self-pity. I don't know what else to do, I've exhausted myself, there's only so much crying I can do. Now I'm just numb. You've been cool for being that constant voice out there. Constant and patient. No matter how I hard this feel, I've no choice but to endure and get through this period. It's hard losing my mom, because she was the only person who loved me unconditionally and I miss that feeling of being loved. I'm not going to get from a person with a PD, so the next best thing to do is love myself. Each day has been a struggle but hey I'm doing it. I went tothe gym, worked out and now I'm here writing and I less frustrated. That's all I can say. Emotional ends to any relationshipcan take a toll on one can't it.
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