lattimershotgun Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Long post but i will shorten it up alot. met a girl online, the first day we talk on there we talk on cam and decide to meet up later for drinks to talk in person. Long story short she and I don't meet cause of being busy. The rest of that week she continues to make plans on meeting me and I keep getting stood up. Then spur of the moment we hangout hit it off well. basically we hit it off and hangout a coupel more times on and off inbetween her standing me up. She gets all sad and explains its because her mom dying one year previous to that week. and she had a miscarriage and the baby woudl be 1 that week as well. She and her family dont get along basically she seems like she has some baggage, and her Ex Fiance cheated on her for years soo now shes single and angery.. I excuse some of her behavior and then 4 weeks pass. So we have been seeing each other for about 4 weeks. We hangout another time and this time she stays the night we hit it off great and we have sex a couple times. This happens on this past Friday night (sex was great adn she couldnt stop cuddling and holding on to me and saying how much we are a good match for each other) and saturday morning she leaves and says she will be back in an hour to pick me up for U of M college football game she has tickets to. I wait an hour in a half, so i text her asking where is she. SHe texts back "can't find tickets". then i call her to ask her waht she means and no answer, she infact dosnt call back at all. just flat out dsont answer the phone for the next 4 hours. I went by her house and she is not home. I get ahold of a freind of mine that lives by her and he tells me that she is dating one of his freinds named **** and I said oh really. I remember her mentioning his name and saying it was a guy she dated back in the summer for like 3 weeks. SO i get **** number and i call him and i explain we have both been tlaking to the same girl. He has been seeing her for 7 weeks and i have for 4 weeks. We decide she has told us similar excuses adn lies so we decide to go get dinner and talk more aobut it. we are totaly opposite in physical appearence and but similar perosnality. Me and him decide to go to her house and confront her, so since he has a key to her house we just walk in and see her standing there. we confront her as he gives her the key back. She gets upset and tells them to leave but watns me to stay but i drill her and drill her with questoins and making her mad. I expalin that its fine that she sees other peopel since we werent that serious but she never todl me and i had asked her previously and soo did **** and she never told us the truth. I also said once we have sex then u have to kinda come clean cuase i dont want to have sex with someone who is out F ucking other people she is dating. After hours of this she keeps saying she watned to let **** go and blah blah and she jsut has no backbone or confidence thats why she stands us up and cant handle confrontation.. I tell her she is a pussy ahah and needs to stand upfor herself or else she will end up hurting tons of guys more and more by her weird absent minded pathetic no backbone behavior. She blames it on her pasat relationship wiht her fiance and him getting mad at her for little things. (Keep in mind this girl is on antidepressents and sees a therapist). She then says she has one other guy besides me and **** and she started seeing him about 4 weeks ago as well. blah blah. SHe said she will call i said "uhuh ok lets see". but the next day she does call and says she wantd to come clean wiht me about somthing else. that she did not have sex wtih **** but she did with this other guy. SHe said she had sex with him like 2 + weeks ago and she feels like a whore and it just happend and she wont anymore. she siad she dosnt want to have sex with two guy at the same time adn she woudl prefer to just have it wiht me and not this other guy. I personally think i have heard too many lies to believe her now. Please give me some comments and ideas. haah I would love to hear them from all of you
mini696 Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 OK she has been dishonest about some things... But was this ever an exclusive relationship?
Sloppy Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 She has too many issues. Do you really want to be with this person?
SuperMonk Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 ugh, stay away from this ho. remember these sayings "bros before hos" and "men create, destroy, and advance society, women only serve one purpose"
Sloppy Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 ugh, stay away from this ho. remember these sayings "bros before hos" and "men create, destroy, and advance society, women only serve one purpose" Oh nice! I bet the ladies just love you...
mini696 Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 And men like Monk take us back to the dark ages.
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 You dated her for four weeks. Nowhere in your story did you say that you and she sat down and had the monogamy talk. She is completely justified in seeing other people until you both decide that you don't want to date other people. Why should she just assume that the two of you are being monogamous? And why is it that when a woman is sleeping with two guys she's a slut, but when guys do it, it's completely normal?! Hell, it's not just normal, it's admirable!
RecordProducer Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 You dated her for four weeks. Nowhere in your story did you say that you and she sat down and had the monogamy talk. She is completely justified in seeing other people until you both decide that you don't want to date other people. Why should she just assume that the two of you are being monogamous? And why is it that when a woman is sleeping with two guys she's a slut, but when guys do it, it's completely normal?! Hell, it's not just normal, it's admirable! I completely agree with this! You were not exclusive at the time. once we have sex then u have to kinda come clean cuase i dont want to have sex with someone who is out F ucking other people she is datingYour rule is okay, but you should have told her that right after you had sex or even before that. IMHO, she is not a whore especially since she wants to be only with you now. By the way, I didn't get how you figured that what she told you were lies. If she was telling you different stories then obviously one of them would be a lie, but how can you assume that she told you the "same lies"? She may have emotional baggage, but you're accusing her of being a slut, liar, spineless, unreliable... If you have such a bad opinion about her then dating her is probbaly not a good idea anyway.
mini696 Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 And why is it that when a woman is sleeping with two guys she's a slut, but when guys do it, it's completely normal?! Not everyone thinks this.
Walk Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I agree that you can't hold her to being monogamous if you didn't have "the talk". She's free to date who she pleases until that point. And she's under no obligation to tell you even if you ask. I think that comes under the heading of doing more harm then good. But I do think she shoud've come clean about sleeping with them. That puts you at risk. However, did she ever give you a good reason why she ditched you on going to the game? Why didn't she at least call to tell you something? That seems really bogus. This to me would be a deal breaker if she didn't have a damn good reason. She should've called prior to the hour being up, and she didn't even try to contact you. Could lead someone to believe that she's not trustworthy, doesn't keep her word. Combine this with everything else and it doesn't sound like she's cares much for you. If her excuse is she doesn't have a backbone, and she was afraid... maybe this will be the lesson she needs to learn so that she doesn't end up ruining the rest of her life by avoiding her problems. It's no excuse, and you'll be doing her a favor by not letting her get away with that kind of behavior.
Walk Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 P.s. that was bogus just walking into her apartment cause you had a key.
RecordProducer Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I completely agree with Walk. Basically you sound like a controlling guy. You were more interested in what a whore/idiot/whatever she is than whether she cares about you or is the right person for you. She on the other hand is really spineless and I can see you walking all over her really soon.
Craig Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 You and her didn't have the "talk" and so she has the right to date other people. But she flat out actively lied to you and the other guy and then tries to make up some stupid excuse for her lying. How lame is it that the only excuse that some people have for f*cking someone is that "it just happened." Nothing every "just happens." You are better off without her.
Author lattimershotgun Posted November 16, 2005 Author Posted November 16, 2005 No i am not a control freak, its just the fact that she had lied. I mean i dont mind her seeing other people but when i had asked her about it the first day we met and then asked her about it like during week 3 and she ignored the questoin or gave me wishy washy answers it makes me feel like she has a problem lying. Now she says she wants to gain my trust and wants to be with me but the probelm is she has no confrontational skills so i dont imagine her being able to confront this other jailbird guy. He has a bad temper anyways from waht i understand and she wont confront him and will probalby just try to ignore him till he gets the hint or go out on dates with him but rarely. I just dont understnad how if she coulndt confront me **** with her seeing other people then how can she even tell a guy she doesnt want to see him anymore. SHe had said she was freaked out because she was soo into me that night we slept together, and that she was kinda freaked out cause she loved being wiht me and it felt soo right and it scared her. she felt like it coudl get serious dn then she got freaked out so she didnt take me to the game and ignored the probelm. ITs like she runs from all her problems she has no back bone to confront it and she ignroed seeing me the rest of that day, she wanted to talk to her freind about it instead. (who she took to the game). See i like this girl but she is TOO NICE and cant say no really. She has no confidence i dont believe.
Author lattimershotgun Posted November 16, 2005 Author Posted November 16, 2005 ??????????????????????????
QueenieJD Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 I say RUN! RUN FAR, FAR AWAY!...This girl has too many issues to drag you into and anyone who lies, always lies...and people like that are not worth anyones time and not someone you want to get involved with!! Best wishes.
SuperMonk Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 suck it up. are you a soldier or are you a girl? women are the weak ones, KNOW THAT. we can destroy them, create them, and advance them just like the rest of society.
Author lattimershotgun Posted November 17, 2005 Author Posted November 17, 2005 so tell her i cant trust her? I already have i knwo she keeps saying she dosnt want to sleep wiht that other guy but i mean i still get the idea she wants to date him. she said she watns me to trust her and wants it to wokrout long term. but if she wants that and is soo into me then why date anyone else? haah So should i ask her go exclusive? i know she said herself two nights ago that she wants to do whatever ti taeks for me to trust her and she doenst want to give up.
hoppy28 Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 are you nuts???? run like your forest gump!!!!! alright bro........im going to lay it all out for you. a girl/guy that wants to be with you will. i dont care what the circumstances may be. there is always a way and time when your serious about someone. you said she stood you up acouple times. your first mistake was settling for that. im no highschool kid and have been there done that. the second you heard she was dating another guy was the second you should have just walked away. silence is the most powerfull tool in this situation. ive just been through it. i had to walk away......you bet it hurt. ill tell you what though i know what must go through her head when i see her now and then. she's about as spineless as they come. she did it to me and she's doing the same with the next guy. going with this guy to confront her was the wrong thing to do. letting her explain herself is the wrong thing to do. she did it to him and you and shell do it again and again. do yourself a favor and walk now. dont even tell her you cant trust her. dont tell her your stopping contact or why. just walk. take the hit on the chin.
Author lattimershotgun Posted November 17, 2005 Author Posted November 17, 2005 ya i mean we werent exclusive but she still did lie and thats the main problem!
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