dahlia Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Hi everyone, I am new here. I read many of your posts, and realized that a lot of you had decent people that they broke up with. I am looking to make sense of being with someone for three yrs who up and left me. Our relationship was awful for the last yr or so. He barely talked to me, didn't act interested in me, didn't sleep with me and looked at me with revulsion. I took a pretty stiff hit to my self esteem. I just wonder why I feel so bad after he left? Things were terrible between us. Can anyone shed some light on this? I don't even have anything to look back on and say, "Wow, I miss this about him" b/c there was only sadness and hatred in the end. Any perspectives would be greatly appreciated
vickiec Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 when you go out with someone for so long you get used to having that person around and when its over it takes time to move on. Even though you went through a hard time with your ex it will still take time to get used to being on your own. If your self-esteem has taken a beating that will take time to build back up aswell. Its weird how it works isnt it? Even though your ex wasnt nice to you, its what your used to - give it time and it will get easier
patwheel Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 you stayed with him for 3 yrs. It must have been for some reason right? Just remember the first dates, first months, when the magic is there, and how you guys were so in love, and the world could end when you were with him. How do you feel now? Just thinking about that makes me remember of the good times that we had with my ex. Same story as yours, almost 3 yrs lived together, and then at the end we just fought constantly for about 2 months. Its more the little things that makes me sad, like going to the grocery store, holding hand in the street, knowing someone will call you and that youll want to talk to them, those little things that makes us sad, or at least me. If that guy didnt treat you right, he does not deserve you, and you should feel a little sad, so that you will learn from this relationship and not get the same type of guy for the next one.
Author dahlia Posted November 14, 2005 Author Posted November 14, 2005 thanks everyone. I know I think about the good times, but what I should be thinking about is the awful times in the end. The weird part is, this guy asked me out the other day. I thought, "Ok, I can have a nice time and start feeling good about myself." He asked me to lunch and said we could meet like an hour from my house. We live about an hour apart. I was thinking if he was interested in me, then he should want to come pick me up. Am I way out of line thinking that?
patwheel Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Thats a tough one... it sounds to me like the guy was mistreating you. if you want to get over the guy, this is it, dont contact him, dont pick up the phone, dont do anything. just plain ignore him. however, if you see some hope between you too, go slowly and make sure that he understands that whatever your problems were, it needs to be solved before getting back together.
slubberdegullion Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Bear with me whilst I access Biblical references. Yea, really. The story goes (it's a myth, of course, but I digress) that Egypt freed the slaves, and the slaves wandered through the desert for 40 years, getting sand in their shoes. This one fellow, Moses, who kinda looked like Charleton Heston but didn't have a gun, was their leader. Moses had one helluva job, trying to maintain some semblance of order & faith amongst the gritty masses, and he almost failed. Some of the ex-slaves even wished to be sent back to Egypt because they were fed up with having grit in their underwear. OK, serious point here: Some of the ex-slaves even wished to be sent back to Egypt rather than be subject to their newfound freedom. It may seem like the past was more positive than the present because of the emotional turmoil that you're presently experiencing. So this is a completely rational and normal thing to experience. Even Moses had to deal with it.
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