califlorgian Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Thank you guys all so much for helping me before. It really meant a lot to me and I was going through severe emotional stress at the time. Since I last updated, I have been figuring out what I am going to do and how I am going to go about doing it. I decided, like I think I mentioned before, to keep the baby. I will be raising it on my own and do not plan on getting any financial support from MM at all. He said that if he pays any kind of child support, he is going to get some kind of custody. I know that if i don't ask for child support, he won't pursue custody. I do not want this child around him for several reasons. One, beause of the kind of man he is. Two, because of his serious psychological issues. And three, most importantly, he is an alcoholic and drug addict. I don't want my child around that at all. I have talked to him a total of 1-2 times and blocked him completely from my messenger when he was making up lies about me to get his wife to dislike me. I talked to her a few times as well. She said that "they" are going to be able to have custody, etc etc. She says that their marriage has been going so much better (of course, since I told her everything a while back and stopped talking to him, I am sure it has!) and he is changing and getting therapy. One thing I KNOW he will never change (and he has admitted he won't) is his drinking problem. He just can't. Anyway, so they were both being pretty rude to me, so a month ago I blocked their screen name and haven't attempted to talk to them at all. The only reason I did before was because I found some of his things (including his wedding ring that he lost over here) and wanted to drop them off somewhere where his W could pick them up. They were both being complete a**h***s so I just said "fu*k it" and my lawyer will deal with any issues of legality when the time comes. Anyway, everything has been going so great. I am really happy with life right now and happy with all the decisions I have recently made. I have decided to move back home to California (haven't lived there in 7 years!) where I will live in a friend's guest house until I get on my feet. She and her husband are such angels. She is so supportive and happy about me and the baby. And I have a lot of family and old friends out there that are supportive as well. I will be moving, most likely, at the start of the new year (if not earlier). I have decided to pursue real estate and while I am getting my license and getting started, get a job in a daycare center or something of the sort. The pregnancy is going great. I am exactly 14 weeks pregnant today. I got an ultrasound last week and I am so in love with this baby. The pictures are amazing and the baby was amazing. He/She was moving around so much, doing so many things and just.... acted like a REAL baby!!! My eyes welled up so bad. Here are the pictures, I am so proud. This is a picture of the profile of it's body with it's leg propped up! And it's face was facing the camera! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v316/sillymoco/11-9-2005-3.jpg This is a better profile shot!! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v316/sillymoco/11-9-2005-2.jpg These are it's hands (at the top) and feet (at the bottom). You can see an arm and elbow attached to one of the hands!! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v316/sillymoco/11-9-2005-1.jpg This is a frontal view of the baby. You can see it's hand in front of it's face, it's eye and lips!!! The link after it is a bigger version with notes so you know what is what. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v316/sillymoco/11-9-2005-4.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v316/sillymoco/explanationofhandwave.jpg Sorry about all those!! Don't click if you aren't interested, haha. I am just so happy and proud of my little baby!!! I have such an awesome feeling about this!!! And thank you again, SO MUCH, for your support!!!
Outcast Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Congratulations on making all these decisions and being happy with them! Very best of luck to you
quankanne Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 I am so in love with this baby and that's the happiest ending to your tale that I could hope for ~ I think you're gonna do really, really fine at being a mommy, Cali. as for your little one, are you sure the child wasn't blowing raspberries for the camera!!! If the doctor's office has the machine, see if you're eligible for a 3D sonogram: I'm told that the likeness is fantastic to what the baby looks like when he or she arrives. hugs, quank
glittergurl Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Oh my Gosh! Congratulations! I think you are handling this the right way. Besides all the BS with the guy, I'm really excited for you and your little one
Art_Critic Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Cheers .. And good luck in your new start
whichwayisup Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Congrats momma! I'm glad that you're keeping the baby and you seem very calm and at peace now. Do yourself a huge favour - Talk to a lawyer, get papers drawn up so he can't ever try to take that baby away from you, proof that he is giving up his rights as the father. Better safe than sorry... Good luck and wonderful pics of the little one!
Skeered Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Congratulations and what a beautiful choice you are making. Something I learned many years ago when I was pregnant and alone was that out of bad situations something beautiful can happen. This child is your gift...and you are doing the best you can with it. You'll be in my prayers as you go through your walk as a new momma. Congrats again...
niko1999 Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 Im so happy everything has worked out for you. BTW, I did click the pictures, and just sighed a little sigh for you two, with a smile on my face. Its amazing itsnt it. Proud of you cali, and very happy to hear that everything has worked out ok
RecordProducer Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 Hi, Ashley! You're such a brave girl! We are all proud of you. And you are not even going to request financial support from the scum-bag! We all wish you all the best, everything will be great, just relax and enjoy your pregnancy. You will discover what a wonderful thing motherhood is. Don't be frustrated cuz you're going to be a single mom - I actually wish I didn't have my ex-husband around me in the first two years; he just pissed me off and prevented me from enjoying my babies to the fullest. Even my mom who was such great help has taken away some of the joy of motherhood. If I could've managed to be on my own at the time, I would've raised my kids all by myself. It's great to have a good husband and father, but sometimes they just exist in the dreams.
RainyDayWoman Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 soooooooo....now for the fun (or extremely frustrating ) part.......have you thought of any names yet? and do you think you might want to find out the sex eventually?
Saturnine Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 What a beautiful little blessing. You're a very strong woman and we're very proud of you.
Author califlorgian Posted November 23, 2005 Author Posted November 23, 2005 If the doctor's office has the machine, see if you're eligible for a 3D sonogram: I'm told that the likeness is fantastic to what the baby looks like when he or she arrives. hugs, quank Yes!!! I am going to get one or two of those done. I am very excited about it!!! They really are so amazing!!! And thank you so much for your kind words. Seriously. <3
Author califlorgian Posted November 23, 2005 Author Posted November 23, 2005 Do yourself a huge favour - Talk to a lawyer, get papers drawn up so he can't ever try to take that baby away from you, proof that he is giving up his rights as the father. Better safe than sorry... Good luck and wonderful pics of the little one! Thank you!! And I am definitely going to be speaking with a lawyer and making sure he doesn't come near my baby. My dad said he will handle it once I leave the state. For some reason, he thinks Danny is going to try and murder me or something to "get rid of his problem." My dad is paranoid.
Author califlorgian Posted November 23, 2005 Author Posted November 23, 2005 soooooooo....now for the fun (or extremely frustrating ) part.......have you thought of any names yet? and do you think you might want to find out the sex eventually? Yes!! For a girl I have thought of the name Shylah Renee. Shylah means loyal to God and strong and Renee is my mom's middle name and my middle name. I think I am having a boy though. A name I am kinda thinking about is Jacob Thomas. Definitely Thomas for the middle name. It's my dad's, grandpa's, uncle's, great grandpa's, etc name!! Jacob was a name I heard in a church song when I went out of the blue after I found out I was pregnant. I am DEFINITELY going to find out the gender. Hopefully at my next appt on the 7th of December. Hopefully it won't be too early. I will be around 17.5 weeks!!
Author califlorgian Posted November 23, 2005 Author Posted November 23, 2005 Thank you SOOOO much to everyone who left me encouraging and sweet and uplifting comments. You don't know how much they all mean to me. I really am alone in this and it's nice to have people be so supportive. You guys have always been such a great group of people and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. The simplest sweet gestures are bringing tears to my eyes lately. Thank you all.... so much. <3
RainyDayWoman Posted December 3, 2005 Posted December 3, 2005 Yes!! For a girl I have thought of the name Shylah Renee. Shylah means loyal to God and strong and Renee is my mom's middle name and my middle name. I think I am having a boy though. A name I am kinda thinking about is Jacob Thomas. Definitely Thomas for the middle name. It's my dad's, grandpa's, uncle's, great grandpa's, etc name!! Jacob was a name I heard in a church song when I went out of the blue after I found out I was pregnant. I am DEFINITELY going to find out the gender. Hopefully at my next appt on the 7th of December. Hopefully it won't be too early. I will be around 17.5 weeks!! good luck, hun, please let us know how everything goes.
lilmoma1973 Posted December 3, 2005 Posted December 3, 2005 I am so proud of you and know you will enjoy having your baby growing inside of you .. It can be a beautiful thing when you start feeling all those kicks knowing that something is depending on you to help it grow is just amazing.. I miss that part after i delivered my baby and you will too!!! I can see you will be a great mom so glad you decided to keep the baby i knew you would once you heard the heartbeat and seen the baby pictures.. When are you due and please tell us what you are having once you find out! The pictures you put on there are neat ..Really think the 3-d thing is so neat now that have ... I wish they had it when i was pregnant oh well !!! Keep us posted to how things are going and know we will be here when you need us !!
Nocturnal-Bloom Posted December 23, 2005 Posted December 23, 2005 Your story really touched me and I think that you are a brave woman. Your baby will be lucky to have a Mommy like you. I'm glad to hear that you will be moving closer to your family. Raising kids is hard work and it will be so important to be able to get their support. A book I would suggest getting is "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" by Vicci Iovine. She is very funny and answers all the questions you could possibly think of! Best of luck to you and your precious baby.
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