Fallen_Angel Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Well, if you've watched TV, wandered into a store or turned on certain radio stations, you'll notice the holidays are now thrust upon us. I was just wondering how those of you who've also endured a breakup over this past year feel about the upcoming season. Christmas has always been the highlight of my year. I love the lights, the giving, the shopping, the food!!, spending time with family, all that great stuff. But this year I wish I could skip it. I know Christmas isn't geared towards couples (that is, unless you see one of those simpering jewelry store commercials!!!!!!!!) but since this is my first single Christmas in 4 years I feel a HUGE void. I caught a holiday themed WalMart commercial earlier and nearly burst into tears. WalMart, of all things! Sheesh! I hate that my ex is putting a damper on things. Today marks 60 days since we last spoke, so you'd think I'd be a little closer to getting completely over him. But all day long I've been consumed with thoughts of contacting him. I still miss him so much it hurts, although lately I've come to realize I miss who I THOUGHT he was because the guy I fell in love with would have never hurt me like this. Any coping strategies? I am pretty excited about saving the money I would have spent on gifts for him, but other than that...
brooke7777 Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Our families had spent the past two Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve's together...so it is going to be quite weird this year, not only for me and my family, but I'm sure for him and his family. I'm not so worried about being upset on Thanksgiving and Christmas because I know that I will be surrounded by family, but I am getting very nervous about New Years. I'm the only single one and I feel like I'd rather stay at home and take some Tylenol pm than have to spend my time with happy in love people. I get upset even thinking about New Years. Regrdless, all three holidays are going to be weird. Fallen Angel...you did brighten up my day a little..I too am excited to save some money on the gifts I no longer have to buy him!
patwheel Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 I know how you feel. Holidays, family reunion, I was looking forward for another round of going to see each other's family this year, but my ex broke it off right before my bday, so go figure. Coping strategy for me is to have it planned. For thanksgiving, since Im not from the US, I'll go to a friend's place, and if that doesn't work, a bar where they'll have a thanksgiving dinner. For Christmas, and the whole going to mall hand in hand, choosing presents for the family and all that, I will just avoid it this year. I can barely watch couples on tv without feeling resentment towards them, and when I do see a real life couple walking and looking so happy together, I am just looking the other way. Christmas movies are gonna come up to, im sure something like serendipity or some romantic comedy is gonna come up, and the best way for me is just to avoid it all. I know how hard it is for our exes to break up during this period, and all I can say is the new year is coming along! New resolutions, and New year's eve is a great time to meet plenty of people at parties! Spend some money on yourself, make yourself happy! Dont forget all the people that helped you getting out of the break up also!
brittanyjean259 Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 i know, what bothers me the most about the up coming holidays....is everything is starting to get all"chrismacy..." you know lights on peoples houses...those songs. i cant wait for the holidays to go bye...i will have a different mood
patwheel Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Our families had spent the past two Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve's together...so it is going to be quite weird this year, not only for me and my family, but I'm sure for him and his family. I'm not so worried about being upset on Thanksgiving and Christmas because I know that I will be surrounded by family, but I am getting very nervous about New Years. I'm the only single one and I feel like I'd rather stay at home and take some Tylenol pm than have to spend my time with happy in love people. I get upset even thinking about New Years. Regrdless, all three holidays are going to be weird. Fallen Angel...you did brighten up my day a little..I too am excited to save some money on the gifts I no longer have to buy him! True true true, my family and especially my mother is constantly asking about my ex, and its going to be weird not having her around anymore. My family pretty much loved the girl and all thought that she was the one. When I dropped the bomb, they were all sad, and I dont think that Ill be comfortable around everyone, since I know they'll all look at me like poor guy, no one for the holidays. As for New Year's, couples have friends! All of my friends are in long term relationships also, and being around them is killing me, but theyre doing their best to set me up, maybe your friends will do so too! Good luck !
In Sync Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 I've been dreading this time of the year and with the recent loss of my mom on top of the breakup with my ex, well you can imagine just how much I'd like to skip the entire holiday celebration thing this year. I can't imagine just how much further low I can feel as Chrismas and New Year's arrives. My only saving grace is that I am busy with my work and so I'll throw myself into it. But I can suggest to you this..throw your own X-mas dinner with single friends prior to gathering with your family. Or better yet throw a New Year's Party. Instead of waiting to get invited to one, you'll be busy organizing which will take your mind off of the ex and invite people you usually don't hang with. Especially invite loads of single friends and if your married friends have single friends WELCOME them as well. You've got time to get started planning it now!
Author Fallen_Angel Posted November 15, 2005 Author Posted November 15, 2005 You're definitely right, In Sync. It helps to be busy and to channel your energies into other areas. I have read a few of your other posts and I'm very sorry about your mother. I honestly don't think I'd be able to handle the loss of a family member on top of a breakup; you deserve all the credit in the world for putting one foot in front of the other and getting out of bed every morning. A friend of mine at work suggested we should just sleep through it all and wake up for St. Patrick's Day. I thought her idea was equal parts silliness and undeniably tempting. I haven't been able to bring myself to think about New Year's (aaaiiiieee), let alone Valentine's Day... So if someone could leave me some cranberry sauce, a few Christmas presents, cookies, some alcohol, and maybe a rose while I hibernate...
Justin_EMT Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 My ex and I broke up on December 1st last year (2 days before my b-day) so this time of year is especially hard for me. It was made even worse by the fact that she knew I had had several bad bdays before this. Hell she sure picked a splendid time to do me in eh? (my first love did it on new years eve, man my holidays blow) Im on about 3 weeks of no contact, we spent about the last 8 months trying to be friends, and my ass has decided to try NC for a bit and see if it even works out. Im torn on whether or not to call her and just avoiding the situation so its turning into NC by default. The last conversation we had she was talking about how she was trying to get closer to God. I know its noble and a good pursuit. But, she also said if I fly to see her sometime I have to get a hotel. Before, wed still mess around sometimes, but now I was pushed back even further to an out of town friend. So, being hurt once again I thought it wisest to start NC. Slipped up a couple of times sending text messages. Whoops, but besides that have held firm. God, I wish I knew if keeping NC going is the wisest choice or not....
consumed Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 TO be honest Im not looking forward to the holidays this year. Even new years I'd just like to be asleep for. My Ex and I well things ended a week ago. My thread is here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t74790/ Anyways I asked her many times to let me stay for just christmas because I so badly wanted to be there with her over the holidays. She said it would make things to hard on her if I were to be there. So now I really don't have too much to look forward too over the holidays I wish they would just pass although I know that might sounds harsh or depressing. I know the next few months are going to be tough.
doubleint Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 I know how it is. I wish I could skip the holidays too. And new years, oh god, I dont even want to think about that, Ill probably end up crying in a corner the whole day. Every christmas my ex would come pick me up from my sisters and we would show off our gifts to each other, I dont know how im going to deal with it. My ex was the only real friend I had, its going to be really hard.
Recommended Posts