Confusedagain12213 Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 so I've been dating a woman who lives in my building for about 3 months. she's a few years older than me and things have been going well, albeit a little on the slow side. A few weeks ago, she wasn't returning my calls. It got to the point where I just assumed she suddenly lost interest but didn't have the spine to say that to my face. Low and behold, a few days after I was about to write her off, she calls. Apparently a family friend had suddenly fallen very ill so she was very busy with her family. No problem, I was totally understanding and we made plans to go out the following weekend. We went out about a week ago, and it was good but a little awkward since we hadn't seen each other in a few weeks. I tried calling her a few times this week (she doesn't have an answering machine so I tried her house on a few days and then left a voicemail on her cell phone another day). Haven't heard back. I'm genuinely baffled. Maybe she has a legitmate reason but my pessimistic side just thinks that, again she lost interest but doesn't have the guts to tell me. I'm thinking of trying to get a hold of her tonight, if she doesn't pick up i'll leave a message on the cell phone and I'll give her 24 hours to call back. If she doesn't I'm going to just consider it over and move on. any other advice?
Tony Posted November 14, 2005 Senior Moderators Posted November 14, 2005 There are many reasons why people don't return messages left on their cell phones. They don't access their voice mail often; they are rude; they don't like the person who left the message; they haven't had time; they returned the call but left no return message to avoid phone tag syndrome; they never learned how to access their cell phone voice mail, etc., etc. If she lives in your building, write her a little note, put it in an envelope and tape it on her door. If she doesn't call you after that, then write her off. But don't bet on the fact that she may call you later on when she has nothing to do. These days people behave in the strangest, most unpredictable of ways. My advice is to keep on looking for Ms. Right because you may not see or hear from this one often enough to figure out what she's all about.
Confusedagain12213 Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 thanks for the reply, that pretty much sums up what I'd been planning on doing (well other than the note thing which I didn't think of). I'll see if she calls back in like a day or two, and maybe leave a note but if she doesn't I'll just focus on other things, if she does call then that'll give me a good way to talk to her about what she views our relationship as and see if we're thinking along the same lines or not.
glittergurl Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 I'm thinking of trying to get a hold of her tonight, if she doesn't pick up i'll leave a message on the cell phone and I'll give her 24 hours to call back. If she doesn't I'm going to just consider it over and move on. any other advice? Sounds fairly reasonable. I would do the same.
Confusedagain12213 Posted November 19, 2005 Posted November 19, 2005 so after I called her on Sunday night, I bumped into her as I was leaving for work on Monday morning. she was on the other side of the courtyard and she waved at me and waited for me to walk over (she easily could have just walked away without waving so I suppose that's a good sign). She seemed excited to see me and I asked her if she'd been busy lately. I guess her sick realtive has had several surgeries of late as his cancer is now advanced and is spreading to other organs. I called her on Wednesday left a message and haven't heard back. I really want to believe that she's just really shaken up about her uncle but part of me thinks that she's also using it as a reason to get out of just being straight with me and telling me she's not interested. I may try her again some time next week but I'm not holding out much hope. Oh well, on the plus side that means I can go out and get drunk with my friends more!
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