MarcoInaros Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 I have a few questions. Since it's a given that most girls don't initiate anything in terms of starting a relationship, how persistant should you be in asking out a certain girl? Also is a girls affection for a guy proportional to how confident and persistant he is? And since girls usually give excuses and ambiguous reasons why they cannot go out, when do you give up and conclude that she is not interested?
slubberdegullion Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 Since it's a given that most girls don't initiate anything in terms of starting a relationship, how persistant should you be in asking out a certain girl?Once, twice at the absolute most. If the chick has some sort of internalized test - "I won't say yes until he asks me X times" - then she's a game-player and you're better off without her. is a girls affection for a guy proportional to how confident and persistant he is?That depends on the girl. Confidence is a big plus. Persistance can be, but it's too easy to go from persistant to harrasment; hence, my suggestion about once or two attempts only. when do you give up and conclude that she is not interested?After attempt #2, if you don't get the sense that she's interested, NC her immediately.
d'Arthez Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 Since it's a given that most girls don't initiate anything in terms of starting a relationship, how persistant should you be in asking out a certain girl? Depends on the girl. But if you have to move heaven and earth for a few minutes of attention, she is not worth it. Also is a girls affection for a guy proportional to how confident and persistant he is? No. Confidence is always good. Persistance can often be seen as stalkerish behavior / desperation. And since girls usually give excuses and ambiguous reasons why they cannot go out, when do you give up and conclude that she is not interested? When the excuses do not apply to other guys. Or is complaining that she has nothing to do in the weekends or a Friday night - yet still refuses to go out with you. When she does not call back, if you have called her and left a message. Et cetera.
JayKay Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 Actually, some girls DO initiate relationships.....over time you may meet more women who have the confidence to do this. If a girl doesn't seem interested after 1-2 trials, I'd let it go. Confidence is attractive but being too persistant is annoying and comes off as desperate.
Author MarcoInaros Posted November 14, 2005 Author Posted November 14, 2005 If she gives you signals, like smiling, will a girl think less of you if you don't ask her out? Will she think you are a pansy who doesnt initiate?
RedneckRomeo Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 Again - as d'Arthez said earlier - depends on the girl and how much she is into you. If she's worth anything - she won't look down on you for not taking her signals the first time. One time of missed signals should not be anything to look down upon. Now if it happens again and again and there is not any sort of returned affection (doesn't have to be asking her out - just something to say you're interested, if not now - sometime) - then I'd say she may give up on you.
Sloppy Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 From a girl: If you asked me out once and I said "no", I would expect you to respect that decision. That wouldn't mean I wouldn't be interested in talking to you.Now if you keep calling and persuing after being turned down, I see it as desperate and annoying. When I am not interested I usually try to say so. Sometime it doesn't work that way. Not picking up calls, not returning calls and bailing out is a definate lack of interest. I have asked a guy out before. The relationship I pursued (as opposed to him) had been the best and longest one so far. With the signs...haha...I am in that situation right now. I've been giving this guy the eye. I don't know if he's been getting it; he has warmed up to me and has become a lot more chattier, but I don't know if he's getting my signs of interest. I will give up if he doesn't get it soon, unless he strikes me to the point that I will end up asking him out.
RecordProducer Posted November 15, 2005 Posted November 15, 2005 Since it's a given that most girls don't initiate anything in terms of starting a relationship, how persistant should you be in asking out a certain girl? If I don't like a guy no persistence can help him. He can only try and be my friend and leave a great impression on with with time. Also is a girls affection for a guy proportional to how confident and persistant he is? You can't fake it; assertive guys with self-confident do this naturally. And since girls usually give excuses and ambiguous reasons why they cannot go out, when do you give up and conclude that she is not interested? If you have asked her out and she rejected you under some excuse then she is probably not interested. Try asking her out by stressing out that it's merely on a friendly basis. You will get your chance to seduce her.
RedneckRomeo Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 The only excuse you have to be extra careful with is the 'I'm busy' one - but you can usually tell whether she is really busy, or if it is just an excuse. I would generally take a 'Sorry, I'm busy - another time?' to mean yes, but its a bad time right now. Now if it was just a 'I'm busy' with no option to reschedule - then its probably a 'no - not interested'.
country gal Posted November 16, 2005 Posted November 16, 2005 If she gives you signals, like smiling, will a girl think less of you if you don't ask her out? Will she think you are a pansy who doesnt initiate? first of all, if shes giving you good signals, go for it! confidence is key! however, to answer your question i'm agreeing with redneck on this one .... it depends on how long this goes on. a few missed signals is fine, but if it keeps happening for an extended period, then she probably will just give up - or take the initiative and ask you out, but in this case (extended missed signals), i wouldnt hang your hopes on it.
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