tidal Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 I currently live in Michigan, but I have a whole slew of guy friends in Jersey/Philly that I have been friends with for over four years. My current boyfriend and I have been dating for four months. When he went to a conference in Pittsburgh the weekend of my birthday (this past September), I didn't want to be stuck alone for the weekend so I went to visit my friends in Jersey. My boyfriend thought that it was "weird" and asked nervous questions like "you're not staying at a hotel?" ((Why pay for a $50 hotel room when all my friends have guest rooms in their houses?)). I really don't get to see my friends often. So one of them offered to pay half my plane ticket for me to visit during thanksgiving weekend ((since we both have friday off)). I loosely brought this up to my boyfriend, who said something like "don't you love me? don't you want to spend every single minute with me? you don't want to leave me here all alone, do you?" And then later in the week he mentioned, "i told my mom that we would definitely be there for thanksgiving dinner. so now you have to go." I do love my boyfriend and it's not that I don't like spending time with him, i just want to take advantage of having the long weekend. Or is that selfish of me? Should I suggest that my boyfriend and I do something for the long weekend? ((I would have to pay for everything, so us traveling together gets really expensive, really fast)). So..... advice?
Tony Posted November 14, 2005 Senior Moderators Posted November 14, 2005 Your boyfriend was probably required to attend the conference over your birthday weekend. However, there is no requirement that you go visit your friends over the Thanksgiving weekend. Your boyfriend is normal in that he would want to spend this special time with you. I think most guys who care for their ladies would be hurt if she made plans to be away except to go out of town to be with her parents or something like that. You need to talk to him and try to understand exactly why he feels the way he does. If you then don't understand, this may be an incompatibility the two of you may not be able to surmount. Holidays are special and, whenever possible, it's so much nicer to spend them with somebody who is special to you.
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