Jellostick Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 yeah even though that was a short time, im sure it can still hurt.....but atleast you werent too attatched, and you were experiencedActually, I was attached because her and I were together everyday. She was always over my house and when she wasn't we always talked to each other through text messages or we would email each other while we were at work. Yes, it was a short relationship but we did a lot of bonding in that short amount of time. A week into our relationship I went on vacation to California for like 10 days. Her and I talked everyday of my trip for at least an hour. I was at a comic convention, I was at Disneyland, I was in Tijuana, I was w/ friends but it didn't matter, we talked everyday and my minutes on my phone bill went up and up but I didn't care. She even sent me a text message during that trip saying how great it was that we got so close over the phone and she was right 'cause that never happened to me before. I definitely wouldn't say I was attached 'cause she not only was my girlfriend and my lover but she might have became one of my best friends. Cheers.
brittanyjean259 Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 im sorry she broke up with you...do you know the reasons. let me rephrase all my" well atleast"......well atleast you now know you can have feelings for some one again...and will again eventually. Im sorry things in life really are a pain...im beginining to see that.. eh
Jellostick Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 She originally broke up w/ me 'cause she said I didn't seem happy and she felt I was upset all the time. She felt that we argued too much and it was because of me because she felt I have an "I'm always right" attitude. All that stuff caused me to start seeing a therapist 'cause I told her I'd change and I wasn't going to lie to her so I made an appointment to see one and have been seeing her ever since. The thing is, now that I'm understanding myself and who I am, I'm starting to find out things about her. I have no doubt that I was stressed out the last month of our relationship and that brought on arguing but she has some issues too. She puts on a front, always trying to prove to people how strong she is. If she gets upset, she won't cry but will laugh instead. She likes to be in control of every situation and I think ultimately the reason why she broke up w/ me is because she couldn't control me. I'm not saying I'm hard to handle but I think she wanted something else from me that I wasn't giving her and so she broke up w/ me but not w/out using me as an excuse. I also believe that it has something to do w/ her best friend. When her and I first started dating, she told me how her best friend got a boyfriend and then dissed her by not hanging out anymore and only be w/ him. That really crushed her 'cause her and her best friend are tight. She felt very betrayed and I think since she was now alone, she found me and pursued me like I was pursuing her. When her friend got dumped, her friend came crawling back and my ex pretty much dissed her for me. Eventually, two months into the relationship they started hanging out more and more and she said that her best friend was the person she used to be again. Unfortunately, her friend told her that, "you're doing the same thing w/ your boyfriend (me) that I supposedly did to you." Obviously, she didn't like that we were together all the time. I think somewhere in there was another reason she broke it off w/ me and it's because of her best friend. From what I hear, neither of them like when the other has a boyfriend. Hey, I don't know 'cause I don't know how they are together but from what I hear they are as close as friends can be and I'm thinking that perhaps she chose her over me. I never told her to make a decision. I've never told anyone of my ex's to choose me or their friends and have always told them not to diss them over me. Unfortunately, I think she made a decision to choose. I'm not saying her best friend was the only excuse. I know we argued more than I would have liked but if she cared about me then we could have worked it out and I probably wouldn't be on this site. I also think my ex is a scared person and confused about things but she keeps everything in and won't let anyone know what's up w/ her 'cause she puts on a front like she's all hardcore. I guess that's why she has the nickname "Evil Kate". Cheers.
brittanyjean259 Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 thats what my ex would do, " laugh everything off and pretend to be hardcore"...you dont want someone like that any ways, if he cares about you she will come back for you..if not she can just be known as"evil kate"...and be with her best friend....
mazza32cott Posted November 12, 2005 Posted November 12, 2005 Dear friends Yes the misery of it all. It is because we love deeply why we are all like this. I guess the one good thing is that we can love deeply because that is one hell of a good feeling that others do not get. When the right one comes along and we can safely love deeply just think of the joy life can bring to us. Not like some others who cannot love like us and just exist in relationships because it is somewhere to be, someone to be with. Now to the problem, can't sleep, can't work, don't want to see anybody, don't want to go out......feel miserable, sad, no point going on, psyco even. You need to work on yourself. You have to push yourself to work, go out, talk to friends etc.... That is how you heal. I have been drinking and smoking more. Disgusting I know but it is what I have to do to get through this. I don't recommend it though. The pain will go away. Don't go back there because you may very well end up with this pain again and you don't want that. Think positive, write a note and list everything you want out of a woman/man and put it under the matress. Make sure one is love, faithfullness and loyalty. Two of them and what we certainly did not get from those who have hurt us and that is love and loyalty. Tell yourself you are no longer going to be a b*st*rd/bitch magnet. Let that cycle of your life go. Nothing is better than love, just be happy we can give it. Go out and find the lucky person who is privileged enough to receive it. Maz
brittanyjean259 Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 good post, im going to write what i want in a partner.......or write everything my ex wasnt,...... maybe we meet all the wrong people, so when were with our" real one"....we notice they are unlike any other.....and appreciate them more....?
chocolate_boy Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 Wow, I didn't think I'd find someone that felt the same way but you've proven me wrong. Thank you, Rebelpryncess. I tried to explain to her that every relationship has problems but if you care about someone so much, you can work those problems out. She didn't agree either. It was our first huge discussion about our relationship and unfortunately it was our last while we were together. I couldn't believe it 'cause it seemed like a one shot deal. It sucks and I feel displaced as well. I hated having to tell people that we broke up 'cause her and I have the same friends and we were always together. Now it seems she's has those friends and I don't 'cause she see them more than I do since they're mostly her friends anyway. This is where feeling displaced comes in. At least I can say I don't cry anymore, that only happened during the first week but sometimes I feel like crying. I don't know if it would help but I feel like I should. I also hate when my friends tell me how great of a guy I am, that I'm a good person and she doesn't deserve me. I've come to realize that I am a good person and that I am a catch but I don't understand why she'd let me go except for that I realized she has some issues that she won't reveal. It just makes me feel that I'm the biggest loser around 'cause I feel she'll won't find someone better but then she broke up w/ me so I guess I can't be as good as I think I am. Cheers. Wow that is also EXACTLY how I feel these days, ours was too a "one shot deal", one silly argument over a weekend and it was over, she did ask me back 2 weeks later, then dumped me over sms (got no reason) 2 days later. All seemed such a senseless waste, after our time together and all our awesome memories and how close we were, for her to delete me from her life and never want to see me again cos of one argument?! That is really ****ed up. Know what you mean about friends too, when we were together it was great that we shared mutual friends, now its the worst thing about it. My ex's boss (who we met through) lives next door to me, and my ex visits her and stays over! Argh its awful knowing she's there and her car is outside my window. Then today my neighbor came round to see my flatmate and was talking about their night out last night, seemed everyone was there, a lot of my friends and aquintences, all in same place by coincidence, but cos my ex was there, I don't get invited out any more. So there I am, in house on my own on a sat night, while my ex goes out and has a ball, then sleeps in the apartment above me, while I feel trapped in and like a loser. Will we make these mistakes again? Probably... is any relationship predictable or stable... probably not
chocolate_boy Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 good post, im going to write what i want in a partner.......or write everything my ex wasnt,...... maybe we meet all the wrong people, so when were with our" real one"....we notice they are unlike any other.....and appreciate them more....? Yeah i did it last month, rated my ex out of 10 for all the qualities my ideal girl would have, she only got 67 out of 150... not very impressive after all!
brittanyjean259 Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 no not impressive! bad bad bad.......but its still hard not to be so blind when you love them.....you notice all the little GOOD things they do....and not the BIG drastic hurtful things they do...... wish i could help that? haha
chocolate_boy Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 no not impressive! bad bad bad.......but its still hard not to be so blind when you love them.....you notice all the little GOOD things they do....and not the BIG drastic hurtful things they do...... wish i could help that? haha I also rated my last girlfriend before her, she got 105.. damn
brittanyjean259 Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 ugh grieving sucks, ive excepted the ups and downs , though i guess..i feel so lost, is that normal after your first relationship?
mazza32cott Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 Yes you feel lost and a sense of worthlesness. It never gets any easier next time around, believe me. Only you can help yourself though as you are in charge of your feelings. Read my post in this thread a bit earlier. Don't know, maybe it will help... Maz
Recommended Posts