CherokeeTeaRose Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Last night after I was finished with my study courses and my husband arrived home, we ate dinner and then I had to go to Target to get my daughter her Barbie Doll for doing good in class (straight A's) so I loaded her up and we arrived at the store. Fifteen minutes into shopping around for a few other odds and ends "The Guy" called me from a number that did not show up. I picked it up and he said "I just wanted to call and talk to you for a few minutes", to which I said he had to make it quick because I was busy. He went onto say that everything he has been doing and saying is just harmless flirting and that he would never act on it and he does not go around coming in between marriages. I said that was nice and that nothing would ever happen anyway. We said our pleasantries and talked about Saturday nights gig and I told him I had to go. On the way home he text messaged me with "It's just all in fun, you have a sweet seductive sensuality", to which I didn't respond to. I just deleted it and that was that. I don't get it. Harmless flirting and fun? Is he full of sh*t or serious? Now this is confusing and weird.
ThumbingMyWay Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Last night after I was finished with my study courses and my husband arrived home, we ate dinner and then I had to go to Target to get my daughter her Barbie Doll for doing good in class (straight A's) so I loaded her up and we arrived at the store. Fifteen minutes into shopping around for a few other odds and ends "The Guy" called me from a number that did not show up. I picked it up and he said "I just wanted to call and talk to you for a few minutes", to which I said he had to make it quick because I was busy. He went onto say that everything he has been doing and saying is just harmless flirting and that he would never act on it and he does not go around coming in between marriages. I said that was nice and that nothing would ever happen anyway. We said our pleasantries and talked about Saturday nights gig and I told him I had to go. On the way home he text messaged me with "It's just all in fun, you have a sweet seductive sensuality", to which I didn't respond to. I just deleted it and that was that. I don't get it. Harmless flirting and fun? Is he full of sh*t or serious? Now this is confusing and weird. nip this sh*t in the butt right now. After he said that it was all in fun...you said back to him, "Thats Nice, nothing will happen anyway" You should of said...."Listen buddy, I aint down with this and I aint in the market for fun flirting with you and the next time you do something that makes me uncomfortable, I will have my husband respond to you" So he tells you he aint into breaking up marriages...but then sends you that text message????. BullSh*t....hes seeing how far you will go with this. tread lightly CTR....
newbby Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 so he is saying its just in fun so that he can continue flirting with you, and make you feel you would be being silly to take it seriously. i agree with tmw, tell him you aint laughing and if he carries on your husband will respond to him.
sylviaguardian Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 CTR - you have posted so much here about this guy - he is obviously TOTALLY under your skin. All the questions you ask you already have the answers to. Yes, this man wants to sleep with you. Yes, that is probably ALL he wants. If your marriage weren't so dull, you would not be interested. You know the answer - work on your relationship, stay away from this guy. But I think what you want to hear is that this guy loves you. It will be worth it because it makes you feel sooo good. Your husband will never find out and you will continue to feel giddy with excitement, sexy, powerful etc. Well, that's not how it happens. You have already crossed the line. You did not tell your husband what he texted you. This is your first secret. If you don't watch out, there will be many more. Syl
ThumbingMyWay Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 hi Syl CTR...I have been thinking about this. Syl is right....this guy obviously has left his mark on you. You already stated that you felt GOOD from his remarks. You felt flattered by the nice comments from another man.... And rightfully so. Married at 16 years.....now you are 30....married, same man, kids, dull sex life, etc. etc. And in swoops this guy how gives MANY compliments...and it peaks your interest as woman....wow, another man thinks I am sexy. This is how affairs start. This is what happened to me. Been with my wife since age 17, we are both 35 now. After that many years, things become mundane. Throw kids in the mix...and you focus on them...and less on your marriage. My wife became lonely....I neglected her...and in swoops an OM...giving her HUGE compliments....he worked and he worked and he worked on her...untill she caved and took the temptation. You are in a PRIME position for an affair and this guy knows it. And he is playing you with his flirting....he knows if he pushes hard emough, either you will give in, or put a stop to it. And so far you have not drawn the line yet, and he will continioue his remarks until you accept or decline. if you want to avoid lots of hurt and pain.....draw your line now
Author CherokeeTeaRose Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 CTR - you have posted so much here about this guy - he is obviously TOTALLY under your skin. All the questions you ask you already have the answers to. Yes, this man wants to sleep with you. Yes, that is probably ALL he wants. If your marriage weren't so dull, you would not be interested. You know the answer - work on your relationship, stay away from this guy. But I think what you want to hear is that this guy loves you. It will be worth it because it makes you feel sooo good. Your husband will never find out and you will continue to feel giddy with excitement, sexy, powerful etc. Well, that's not how it happens. You have already crossed the line. You did not tell your husband what he texted you. This is your first secret. If you don't watch out, there will be many more. Syl First off your comment about "love" is so far off base it's unreal and I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion. I have two kids and a husband that loves me, I don't need love from anyone else. Second yeah he got a little under my skin, but you know what I happen to be pretty attractive and have kept my upkeep up over the years and having two kids, lots of men find me attractive. I'm not sure why this one got under my skin. Third before I read any of these messages I found out this morning where the entire band was at today, they were practicing over at my husband's friends garage. I went there and took said guy to the side and told him that he can not flirt with me anymore and we will only keep it strictly business and whilst on stage he is to try to advert his eyes on someone else cause it bothered me. He smiled and said he understood and that he was said to see that just a little harmless flirting has caused a rift in an otherwise friendly relationship. Tough! I know what the right thing to do in regards to my marriage is. I have done it. I'm not a stupid woman. I am not willing to risk my kid's happiness, their well being, and my husband's happiness and well being on some fling. I know deep down that if I had of gotten involved this guy would have eventually wanted me to leave my husband. This stuff has been going on for roughly about three months. I'm not leaving my marriage, I'm not going to have an emotional affair with him, and I'm definitely not going to have a PA with him.
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 I am not willing to risk my kid's happiness, their well being, and my husband's happiness and well being on some fling. I know deep down that if I had of gotten involved this guy would have eventually wanted me to leave my husband. This stuff has been going on for roughly about three months. I'm not leaving my marriage, I'm not going to have an emotional affair with him, and I'm definitely not going to have a PA with him. That's good to know. So, now that you know he's too flirty for your liking, are you still going to see him and the band play? If so, make sure this is a function both you and your husband attend together.
Author CherokeeTeaRose Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 Yes I am. I have to, I'm the band's PR Manager. So I'm afraid I have to go. My husband however will be going along and my husband knows that I went and met up with the band and that I took him to the side and what all was said. My husband is well aware of what is going on and he doesn't seem to be bothered in the slightest. He was laughing when I told him everything. I won't be alone with said guy cause I know better. I wouldn't put myself in a position to have something happen. That would be dumb. So now that I have gotten it over with I feel somewhat relieved. We'll see how everything goes Saturday night. Hopefully everything will be on the up and up.
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Great. So, don't play and get sucked into that crap he throws at you. He's a player and a "Typical" guy in band. Women women and more women. Flirt and see how far he can get. Good that your hubby has a sense of humour about it and doesn't feel threatened by it.
Author CherokeeTeaRose Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 My husband has been very laid back about it, I was surprised because he can be a very jealous person at times. I guess the sense of humor has come with his age . Yeah I'm pretty privvy with the whole band scene. I have helped on numerous occassions with big bands and it makes me sick to see some of them get young girls to go back stage and do all sorts of things while their wives and children wait for them at home. The stories! This turned out better than I thought it would and I couldn't be happier. Now we'll see if what I said got through his head.
ThumbingMyWay Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 I know what the right thing to do in regards to my marriage is. I have done it. I'm not a stupid woman. I am not willing to risk my kid's happiness, their well being, and my husband's happiness and well being on some fling. I'm not leaving my marriage, I'm not going to have an emotional affair with him, and I'm definitely not going to have a PA with him. cool.....not only are you attractive....but your smart too. good luck with your studies...
Owl Posted November 17, 2005 Posted November 17, 2005 Well, I'm probably about to stir up a serious doo doo can of worms, but here goes... Hey Rose...now that your H knows what's going on, and has confronted you and this guy, what is your plan now? I gather that now you're angry as anything at him, blame him for the whole situation, and are seriously considering sleeping with this guy out of revenge? I thought this was all harmless fun, and that you weren't going to do anything to damage your marriage? Seriously, I do hope that you can stop and realize what is going on here. You need to stop REACTING to getting caught, and start thinking about what you need to do to fix this situation...for you, your marriage, and your kids. Welcome to the "Psychic Friends Hotline".
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