justanotherguy Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Want to marry a woman I have dated for about 8 years. I have a steady income, 2 kids from a previous marriage; she has no job and 2 kids and is a widow. She cheated on a year ago and we broke up. We have since got back together and she wishes to marry. But I want a prenup. Here the laws would make me financially responsible for her and her children if the marriage was unsuccessful. She says no way. Thoughts?
slubberdegullion Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Sorry to say, but she's already shown you a glimpse of her character by cheating. No prenup = no wedding.
reader Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 I agree, get a prenup. People can change, but it is very, very rare. If she cheated once, the potential is there. How can she not work? Reader
slubberdegullion Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 How can she not work? Could be that her now-deceased hub left her a pot o'bux.
reader Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 "Could be that her now-deceased hub left her a pot o'bux." It doesn't matter. My hub has a pot o'bux, and I still work - good for the body and soul. I'm independent and have something to talk about, plus I have a bit of my own life - and I don't use people. There is something curious about this whole deal. Be careful. Reader
LexiB Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Prenup! Prenup! Prenup! Especially since it's not just you but your children you need to look after. This does sound fishy...she doesn't have a job yet wants to be entitled to half of your assets if you two ever split?
Outcast Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 If you have kids, then the prenup is an absolute must. Too bad if she won't marry you - don't allow yourself to be blackmailed that way. She needs to understand that you must be sure your kids are taken care of.
ladyinwaiting Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 My personal opinion is that pre-nups are a no-go zone for a first marriage, but an absolute must for a second (or third...) where there are kids involved. You're older, you're more experienced, and neither of your circumstances are likely to change that much. No prenup, no marriage. Explain to her that you love her, but you have responsibilities to your children that are simply non-negotiable, no matter how much in love you are. And try to come up with something reasonable and fair, that way it's less likely to be overturned should worse come to worse.
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