RandallHare Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 This is probably why I suck at dating. I'm just the nice smart guy with good looks. But I don't flirt with women at all. I need a change. I'm too awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 Flirting is a skill. It can be learned. You already have the fundamentals to be a good partner. You are a nice guy. You are intelligent. The fact that you are good looking doesn't hurt. Some of flirting is simply about being an engaged person. It's about making eye contact, smiling & being an active listener. You don't have to be the life of the party. You simply have to be sincere. That probably comes naturally to you but somebody gave you wrong info & convinces you that you have to be suave, witty, & the most entertaining guy. That is not true. Treat any new woman you meet like a class. What can you learn from her? The subject of the class is her. What do you need to get an A? You have to study (not in a creepy, stalker way, just pay attention & be interested when she talks). Ask Qs. Be prepared to share info about yourself. Be kind. Have manners. Open doors etc. Be gracious & sincere. You just have to be yourself. When you feel awkward take a breath. Try to remember that everybody feels awkward & self conscious. Use that to your favor. Most people are so hung up on their own fears, they don't see yours. If you can be the person who smiles or says hi first to break the ice they will be grateful that somebody views them as interesting. Do learn a bit about body language so you know when somebody is non-verbally telling you to buzz off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 It's about reading people, body language and connecting emotionally. Start with a warm smile, and ask them a question, do a little teasing. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 (edited) Be polite, friendly, approachable, smile say hi, introduce yourself and be yourself. Flirting is highly overrated as far as getting dates and can come off as cheesey or trite. It's fun and entertaining, but someone is either attracted...or not. So even though a lot of dating gurus suggest it, even implying it "builds attraction", it's not going to increase any chances that aren't already there in the first place. Edited February 17 by Wiseman2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 (edited) I don't think flirting is a skill per se. I think it is a combination of confidence, charisma, and the ability to connect with someone on a deeper level. I also think it has a lot to do with the chemistry and dynamic between two people. That said, there are definitely some ways to improve your flirting abilities and make a stronger connection with someone. Of course, I may be wrong but when you have similar interests it's kind of like it takes a life of it's own. By that I mean, when you're having a good time it's like the flirting takes care of it's self. Edited February 17 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 (edited) On 2/17/2024 at 2:06 PM, RandallHare said: This is probably why I suck at dating. I'm just the nice smart guy with good looks. But I don't flirt with women at all. I need a change. I'm too awkward. The common thing I've found with friends who are bad at flirting is that they take themselves too seriously. If you're talking to a girl try and laugh with her, make fun of her with some light jokes, playful is the key. It's not meant to be a job interview. Also if you label yourself as "nice", is it really nice or is it more inoffensive and harmless. Try to fill your life up with hobbies, be someone who others will meet and say wow this in an intriguing guy! Edited February 26 by FredEire 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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