anyescape Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Okay, so here's my story. I've been on here reading for the past week or so, trying to cope. My girlfriend of two and a half years ( we lived together ) has finally left me. I know why, but I am having trouble dealing with it and one of the only things keeping me going is the thought that maybe we'll end up back together someday. I am a negative person that belongs on antidepressents. I never took them the entire time we were together. I thought the happiness she brought me was enough to curb my negativity. How wrong I was. She complained of my constant nagging and negativity and focus on little petty stuff and threatened to leave me several times, each time myself promising her that I would change. Well, she finally left me a few weeks ago. She packed all her stuff and left my apartment and my life. What makes this especially hard is that we have a 1 yr old baby boy involved in all of this. I also found out that she is seeing someone that she works with. I'm not sure what she see's in him, but I think she made the transition pretty quick. I must point out that I have never been one to not trust her or to accuse her of cheating, so I'm sure I didn't drive her into cheating or that she was going behind my back with this guy. It's just driving me nuts. She says he treats her good and " opens the door " for her. I know that at times my negativity would cause me to be selfish with my time. In other words there were some nights when I would play video games instead of going to bed with her to rub her head till she fell asleep. I'm back on my meds, working out constatly, and doing everything I possibly can to better myself. She says she can't be with me anymore but I'm refusing to believe it. What are the chances of us working things out? I would love some positive news. Please help.
NrclptcNSmniak Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 hello fellow negative person... ya i truely understand how you feel. the girl i was with gave my life... meaning... when she showed me that she loved me... it just totally brightened my day... ive always been and still am a pessimistic little bastard... always hating people but... as long as i had her, i could deal with all my little gripes that i have about people and society. now that shes gone i find myself hating everything even more. the world truely is a cold heartless place... she moved on pretty quickly too. 3 years is a lot when your only 17/18... esp when you started at 14/15. all i have to say is... try and not think that she'll come back... hope is... painfull. im sure if you just continue your life in a positive manner, someone else will come along eventually.
Author anyescape Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 Well, at least I'm not the only one that has to go through this. I just want her back... so bad. I know everything I did wrong, and I would never do it again. But she's too " happy " with her life right now. God... why?
Ruff Ryder Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 I was involved (engaged) for 4 years to a girl also lived with me the whole nine yards and we split up a few months ago. Trust me boys the pain will kill you. However there comes a time where the anger and hatred take over the pain and you start to heal. Time has and will always heal the hurts. Keep strong guys it will come right in the future. There is life after love.
slubberdegullion Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Time has and will always heal the hurts. Well, yes and no. If you spend the time bemoaning the past, then time will be your enemy. But if you look to the future and work on healing, time can be your friend. It's not the time itself; it's what you do with the time. Ruff, something's screwy with your avatar...
downcydeguy Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 If you came to this board looking for somebody to tell you that she's gonna come back to you, you've come to the wrong place. A lot of us are going through a very painful time right now and are trying to help each other cope with the realization that our exes are gone. The positive thing with your situation is that you KNOW and realize your quirks/faults. We've all needed a slap in the face a time or two in order to wake up and realize what fools we may or may not have been. You need to focus on making yourself better in order to be happy again in the near future. I know it's hard right now but force yourself to stay busy and let time heal your wound. Good luck.
brittanyjean259 Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 [/QU 3 years is a lot when your only 17/18... esp when you started at 14/15. all i have to say is.OTE] i havent met any one on here that was 17 / 18...yet....i know what you meen i was with my love when i was 14...till 17....because thats all you know at the time...keep in touch we might have similar stories...
brittanyjean259 Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 NrclptcNSmniak - i just viewed your profile....and saw your birth day!:-x....if me and my ex were still together our 3 year aniversary would be on your birthday....werid
Author anyescape Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 That is weird that your ex's anniversary would fall on my b-day. I'm soo damn miserable it took me hours and hours to get off the couch today. The only reason I get off the couch anymore is to go to work and to take care of my son when she drops him off on her way to work. Bleh. I just can't believe how selfish I was throughout the relationship. God if I could just do it again. Does anyone wish that?
brittanyjean259 Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 is this a different user name of yours?.... i wish i could go back in time, that was when i was really reall truly happy...just thinking about it gives me knots every where...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh your the one with the feburary 14th birthday right?....
mazza32cott Posted November 14, 2005 Posted November 14, 2005 I can understand your pain. There's no point going back though. I went out with a guy who went back to his ex, was even seeing her while I was with him. They broke up again, he came back, lived with me for 3 months and then went back to the ex on New Year's Eve. Sent me a text saying got to speak to the ex. Won't be home tonight but that doesn't mean we're through. He left me and went back to the ex... Man, New Years Eve, I was so hurt, so devastated, didn't want to be on this earth. He left her again came back to me but I wouldn't take him back. He then went back to her again. They moved states. Four weeks later, he rang me to say he missed me and that he'd made the wrong choice. He flew back to this state. I said he could stay with me for a while but that I didn't want to live together straight away because I needed him to show me that he loved me and was there for me and not just for convenience. Him and his ex are truly finished this time and I thought this was it. This time it will work... He wouldn't move out. Finally after 10 weeks he did, but he spat the dummy. He met another woman on the same night and is still with her 3 weeks later. I had told him that I loved him and that the moving was only a temporary measure because I needed to feel he was with me for the right reasons. I did everything for him, spent money buying tools and clothes etc because his ex wouldn't give him any of his stuff. I feel like he just used me and didn't give a f**k about me. I feel like I've just been chucked away. He came and saw me and we had sex, it was great but he still went back to the new woman. So hurtful, he still sms me and it is soooo difficult but I know he is just making me hang on in case his next relationship doesn't work. He was a liar, I caught him out but it is because I loved him that I let the lies go.... This is what I put into another post, I hope it helps: Yes the misery of it all. It is because we love deeply why we are all like this. I guess the one good thing is that we can love deeply because that is one hell of a good feeling that others do not get. When the right one comes along and we can safely love deeply just think of the joy life can bring to us. Not like some others who cannot love like us and just exist in relationships because it is somewhere to be, someone to be with. Now to the problem, can't sleep, can't work, don't want to see anybody, don't want to go out......feel miserable, sad, no point going on, psyco even. You need to work on yourself. You have to push yourself to work, go out, talk to friends etc.... That is how you heal. I have been drinking and smoking more. Disgusting I know but it is what I have to do to get through this. I don't recommend it though. The pain will go away. Don't go back there because you may very well end up with this pain again and you don't want that. Think positive, write a note and list everything you want out of a woman/man and put it under the matress. Make sure one is love, faithfullness and loyalty. Two of them and what we certainly did not get from those who have hurt us and that is love and loyalty. Tell yourself you are no longer going to be a b*st*rd/bitch magnet. Let that cycle of your life go. Nothing is better than love, just be happy we can give it. Go out and find the lucky person who is privileged enough to receive it. Maz
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