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He won't tell me who she is


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I saw my boyfriend last night. He showed me a story of woman on Facebook as she done her own advertising video for some make up and it made him laugh. He was laughing and said you know how I know her then he said he better not tell me. This made me feel comfortable. Why the big secret on how he knows her. I sent a message to him when I got home with a picture of her profile and said I did not feel comfortable with him deciding not to tell me who she was. He has read the message and not replied.


He has a bad habit of remaining Facebook friends with people who have fancied him in the past and one person was a Plenty of Fish date from years ago and was commenting on his photos trying to get his attention again a few months ago even though he has posted photos of us together so she knows he is not single.

I am not one to control who people are friends with but this secretiveness has made me feel anxious.

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How long have you been dating? How old is he? He seems quite immature giggling over makeup videos and playing games about why he's following people.

Does he have a habit of silly guessing games and trying to provoke problems? Stop asking him who this person is. He's simply taunting you.

Better yet ask him why he's so bored that he is watching makeup videos and wasting your time showing you this nonsense. 

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Alpacalia

Sounds like he was trying to spur a reaction out of you. He knows you are going to see and have a bad attitude, so he decided not to tell you who she was for the sake of not causing an argument. Sometimes, as you know, its better to ignore these males. They can grow up, but they will need to decide it on their own...don't try to force it.

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Don't like it? Then stop seeing him. He's not going to change. He certainly refuses to listen to you...so what's the point in being with someone like that?

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A more sensible approach on his part is to either a) not make mention of their past at all or b) be open about it.  But he chose the route which makes him sound like a 12yo girl.

At this point, there's nothing you can do about it other than observe his behaviour and decide if he's the guy for you.  You've only given this one example of his behaviour with you so we can't tell if this is his normal behaviour or if it's an abberation.   Aside from staying FB friends with old romantic connections, can you tell us if he makes you uncomfortable on a regular basis?

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ShyViolet

I would not continue seeing a guy who played mind games with me like this.  He purposely showed you the profile of some girl, but then refused to tell you how he knows her.  It seems like he enjoyed provoking you and making you jealous, and hanging this over your head.  That's very weird, immature behavior and not something you should put up with.

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16 hours ago, Angel29 said:

He has read the message and not replied.

Ignoring your messsge is a lot of disrespect toward you. 

Is this the same bf that last year he gave his necklace to a woman but wouldn't tell you who?

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If you don’t like your boyfriend’s boundaries with other women then that is your cue to end the relationship. 

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If you do not trust him then I'd suggest maybe looking for someone you do trust. 

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