johan Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 #1: Ex and I broke up 10 weeks ago. I adored her and have regular (daily) pangs of sadness and regret. Am I over her? I don't know. I don't hurt so much I'm disabled. No contact at all since the day we split. WHAT'S WRONG: She wouldn't marry me. She didn't love me enough to fix the problems. #2: Girl I work with. Just divorced. She likes me a lot. But she may be one of the classiest and sweet people I've ever known. I know she'd be such a catch. WHAT'S WRONG: I'm just not attracted to her. And we work together. #3: Girl she lives with. She just started dating some other guy. But she likes me. We have a mutual crush we expressed one day when I couldn't take it anymore, and I forbade her from dating the other guy. But I wasn't serious, and so she continues. We have sparks and tons of laughs. She's older than me by a few years. WHAT'S WRONG: She's older and I'm not into love triangles. She cut off our conversation today for some reason. I feel like it's because I won't make a move. #4: Girl she's friends with. We've gotten together socially a few times. And I got "that" feeling and noticed some chemistry. So I asked her out and we dated last weekend. First date lasted through the night and into well into the next morning . But I came away from it feeling that I would only be leading her on if we continued. She understands, but she also really likes me. She and I agreed that the ex still haunts me. That's not the whole story, but it's ok for now. WHAT'S WRONG: I'm not in love with her and don't think I will be. A disturbing little thought that invades my mind at weird times: she reminds me of my sister. #5: Girl at the place where I eat lunch every day. I've never been overt with her, but WOW. She's dark and pretty and foreign and mysterious. And she's really cool and expresses no interest at all. But she's also friendly and I chat with her very briefly sometimes when I check out. She has no clue I dig her, because I've been so un-pushy. WHAT'S WRONG: I'm gutless, and I don't want to take advantage of her being trapped at the register. I have no decent opportunity to really chat with her, but I think she'd like me. How much I don't know. #6: Girl where I buy coffee. She's young and REALLY cute and has amazing style. Her eyes and smile and cheekbones are perfect. Her hair is different every day, and it's short which I don't normally think much of, but she's INTERESTING. And she really smiles at me and keeps eye contact and talks to me and she made a point of memorizing my drink and teased me about keeping the receipt. I'm friendly, but I express no interest and don't try to chat with her at all. I just tell her I like her hair or her hat or whatever it is that is noticable that day. And she loves it. WHAT'S WRONG: She's really young. I have no decent opportunity to chat with her, but I think she'd like me. I just smile at her and leave with her on my mind. Those are the girls in my life. I want to mix them all together. The innocence, idealism, perfect 10 beauty, and sexuality of 1. The sweetness, class, depth and loyalty of 2. The values, humor and personality of 3. The love and generosity of 4. The exotic beauty and mystery of 5. The cuteness and style of 6. I know I'll get none of them in the end. Any one of them wouldn't be enough. God is testing me.
Walk Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 I'm way probably off base here... But it almost sounds as if you're looking for excuses to find flaws in all the women you meet. Some reason why they aren't quite good enough, or the situation isn't perfect. Why do you think that is? Are you normally like that? Or only since your break up?
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 I think you should get over your ex before thinking of these other women. But on the flip side, there's no better way to get over an ex than by getting into a rebound relationship. If your morals will allow you to do that. (Mine have, and it worked like a charm! I suppose they usually don't last long, though.)
Author johan Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 I'm way probably off base here... But it almost sounds as if you're looking for excuses to find flaws in all the women you meet. Some reason why they aren't quite good enough, or the situation isn't perfect. Why do you think that is? Are you normally like that? Or only since your break up? I don't really understand. I'm at risk of hurting some of these girls. Or alienating them. Or missing great chances due to shyness or fear. I don't have the heart to just go for it with any of them. I also feel I can be picky so I'm waiting for something better. But I know that is a dangerous attitude because you end up waiting all the time and never doing anything. I guess it will work out and I should have more faith in myself. It would be nice if someone would just tell me which one is a sure bet. All I want is permanent happiness with a gorgeous, funny, smart, loving woman who will always love me and won't ever complain or criticize me. If any of you are like that, go ahead and send me a private message.
Walk Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 All I want is permanent happiness with a gorgeous, funny, smart, loving woman who will always love me and won't ever complain or criticize me. Her name is Lassie, and she will be forever faithful to you. She also really likes dog biscuits, and needs to be taken on walks everyday. Just ribbing you. sorry. It sounds like your still healing from your last relationship and feeling a little sorry for yourself (Not that that's a bad thing, as long as it not permenant.). You may be trying to rush yourself into something that you're not really ready for yet. Why does it have to be one of these girls, right now? Not that I'm saying being single is great, but at the same time, it's a brief moment where you don't have to worry about whether or not she's going to be upset if you don't want to go out that night, or if you're feeling down you can just veg instead of faking being happy cause your out with a girl you want to impress. And I've always found that as soon as you stop looking for that "perfect person", amazingly they suddenly show up. I know that sounds naive and childish, but the only time I've really found deep love is when I stop looking so damn hard for it.
Walk Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 gorgeous, funny, smart, loving woman You just described me to a T. Wow. j/k
Outcast Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Don't be in such a rush. You were together several years. It seems as though you want to replace the hole in your life. I think you need to replace it with you for the time being. Don't pursue any of them right now - let each relationship develop a little more. Be friendly with each one and get to know them in your current situation and see if sparks start to develop as you heal. Don't fall for the 'gotta have a Christmas gf' syndrome.
Author johan Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 Her name is Lassie, and she will be forever faithful to you. She also really likes dog biscuits, and needs to be taken on walks everyday. I always thought Lassie had great fur. It sounds like your still healing from your last relationship and feeling a little sorry for yourself (Not that that's a bad thing, as long as it not permenant.). Yeah maybe. Still healing. Maybe some self pity. Not a bad problem to have a bunch of women to distract poor me.
Author johan Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 Don't be in such a rush. Don't fall for the 'gotta have a Christmas gf' syndrome. I was actually trying to get something lined up for Thanksgiving, but that reminds me: JS17, Walk, "I Luv the Chariot OH", any of you have plans for Christmas?? Outcast, I'd invite you, but I don't know that you've revealed the facts of your anatomy. So can I just send you my Christmas list?
JS17 Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 This is a pretty funny thread. You know you're not really past your former relationship yet and that's ok, you were together for a long time. Its not the right time for you to be looking for your perfect woman so why not date the girl that you think is really not looking for a serious relationship...I'm thinking maybe #5 or 6.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Thanksgiving was months ago in my country! And by months, I mean month. I want to go to Niagara Falls for Christmas, and then New York. Wait, you weren't asking seriously, were you
Outcast Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 US Thanksgiving is the third Thursday in November.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 I actually don't even know when Canadian Thanksgiving is. It's just sometimes in October. (Actually I just looked it up online and it's the second Monday in October!)
Author johan Posted November 17, 2005 Author Posted November 17, 2005 #1: The ex: Not a word in over 10 weeks. Sad about her on and off. #2: Girl I work with. There's no possibility of romance there. I've been using her for her friends. #3: Girl she lives with. She lied to me about something pretty basic. #4: Girl she's friends with. I've decided to end the "lead-on". In fact, I've decided to back clear out of the Girl #2 circle of drama. I need to go find my own. #5: Girl at the place where I eat lunch every day. It's not going to happen. #6: Girl where I buy coffee. It's not going to happen. So I've gone to zero, and it feels better. But I have figured out that I'm only happy if I have a crush going. When all the crushes go away, my attitude and my confidence go down the drain. So the latest crush is Girl #7. Dark hair, cute, about the right age, nice body, nice eyes. Just need to find some way to talk to her, because I don't see her much.
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