JerryC Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 So i met this woman last April and to make a long story short, we have hung out a few times but only with a group of friends and have become friends ourselves, we text each other every now and then and are still in the getting to know each other phase, lately she has been dealing with some things that has been stressing her out, and i was thinking of getting her some flowers for valentines day just to do something nice for her and cheer her up, she doesn't have a boyfriend, and they aren't really intended to signal romantic feelings even though i sort of feel like i'm starting to like her, but i'm not really certain about those feelings, the only thing i'm sure of is that i think she is nice, i like talking to her and i really just want to do something nice for her. Does anyone think that it would be fine to do this or is it not a good idea, i'd also like to say that she lives a few hours away from me, so hanging out with her and maybe inviting her to a movie or a coffee is not an option, the few times that we have been able to hang out its been because of special occasions. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 6 Share Posted February 6 If you want to get her flowers to cheer her up that's fine, but do it before or after Valentine's Day or it will send a message that you have a romantic interest in her. Do you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rider on the Storm Posted February 7 Share Posted February 7 It sounds like you've been hanging out occasionally for a year now. Have you ever noted any romantic interest on her part? As suggested above, I would not send the flowers on Valentine's Day unless your intent is to express romantic interest. Unfortunately, if she lives a few hours away, it will be challenging for anything serious to come of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JerryC Posted February 7 Author Share Posted February 7 3 hours ago, stillafool said: If you want to get her flowers to cheer her up that's fine, but do it before or after Valentine's Day or it will send a message that you have a romantic interest in her. Do you? I do, but I personally don't feel ready to explore anything at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JerryC Posted February 7 Author Share Posted February 7 2 hours ago, Rider on the Storm said: It sounds like you've been hanging out occasionally for a year now. Have you ever noted any romantic interest on her part? As suggested above, I would not send the flowers on Valentine's Day unless your intent is to express romantic interest. Unfortunately, if she lives a few hours away, it will be challenging for anything serious to come of this. Some of my friends told me that she thinks i'm good looking, they have also mentioned that when they see us interact, that it looks like we have a thing for one another, I have caught her looking at me a couple of times each time we hang out. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 7 Share Posted February 7 (edited) 5 hours ago, JerryC said: I do, but I personally don't feel ready to explore anything at the moment. Then don't send flowers, especially not on Valentine's Day. It is going to signal romantic interest, and if you aren't ready to explore anything, then that's not really fair to her. Edited February 7 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted February 7 Share Posted February 7 Maybe reconsider. Gifting someone flowers on valentines day definitely conveys romantic intentions, whether you want it to or not. Especially if you're unsure of your own feelings, it's probably best to hold off on giving her flowers, as it could potentially send mixed signals and make things awkward between the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted February 7 Share Posted February 7 I thought about doing the same and the good advice I got here was to rather not, rather maybe just send her a msg. I think this gesture is one that seems like a good idea and is well meaning but perhaps is not seen as that by the receiver. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted February 7 Share Posted February 7 10 hours ago, JerryC said: I do, but I personally don't feel ready to explore anything at the moment. I believe there is a window of opportunity to possibly date. Just from routine conversation you could find out if they have a SO or not. just reach out to her like “ wanna get some coffee” and just be supportive. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 7 Share Posted February 7 10 hours ago, JerryC said: I do, but I personally don't feel ready to explore anything at the moment. Why? is it because you lack confidence or you're not over someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JerryC Posted February 7 Author Share Posted February 7 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: Why? is it because you lack confidence or you're not over someone else? I think its most likely a confidence thing, I'm a pretty shy quiet guy. Its funny because on some days i feel like telling her how i feel but on others i'm glad that i didn't, Its an ongoing battle for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted February 7 Share Posted February 7 No, do not send Valentine's Day flowers. One, flowers are completely overrated. Only in romantic movies (and not even there if you watch closely) do flowers change someone's feelings about us. Two, you are not even clear what you want. I would say stop this texting every day. It's only confusing. I have super close friends of both genders, and I do not text them everyday! That's too much texting for the kind of distant emerging friendship that you describe. Three, sending V Day flowers is full of self-deception. You say you are not ready for anything romantic. Well sending flowers on V Day says you ARE quite ready and quite desiring of a romantic relationship with her. In situations like yours, where I was tempted to send flowers, the truth was that I was in love the person even if I didn't say to myself! No, do not send Valentine's Day flowers unless you want confusion. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 7 Share Posted February 7 (edited) 19 hours ago, JerryC said: So i met this woman last April and to make a long story short, we have hung out a few times but only with a group of friends and have become friends ourselves, we text each other every now and then and are still in the getting to know each other phase, lately she has been dealing with some things that has been stressing her out, and i was thinking of getting her some flowers for valentines day just to do something nice for her and cheer her up, she doesn't have a boyfriend, and they aren't really intended to signal romantic feelings even though i sort of feel like i'm starting to like her, but i'm not really certain about those feelings, the only thing i'm sure of is that i think she is nice, i like talking to her and i really just want to do something nice for her. Does anyone think that it would be fine to do this or is it not a good idea, i'd also like to say that she lives a few hours away from me, so hanging out with her and maybe inviting her to a movie or a coffee is not an option, the few times that we have been able to hang out its been because of special occasions. Don't send them on Valentine's Day if there isn't any romantic cogitations. Just send them on a random day. She will appreciate it more. Edited February 7 by smackie9 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 7 Share Posted February 7 This may differ based on personal opinion, but I really think randomly getting someone flowers who you are not in a relationship with is weird, cheesy and cringey. It's way too much. And doing it on Valentine's Day? That is way worse. Just too too much. If you're interested in someone then you try to spend more time with them, ask them out on a date. That's a normal thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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