beccabee Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Ok, about 4 mo. ago I left the bf I was living with, I just got sick of his narcisitic and sometimes violent/posessive behavior after 5yrs of being controled by him. Any way, I took only what I needed so I could get out fast before he caught me, I just did not want it to turn into so many times when I told him I was going to leave and he became crazy. Now I am trying to get the rest of my stuff but I do not have the money to take hime to court for it, I am afraid to go to his is house because I do not want the drama. So my question is, if I am still on the deed to the house is it unethical or illeagle to break in and get my things? The reason I say break in is because he had the locks changed. I only intend to take the rest of my personal belongings and leave the things that we bought together or were given to the both of us.
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 When I was seperated my ex would just show up whenever she wanted.. Even though all her belongings were out of the house ( marital residence) One time I nailed all the doors shut in the garage and changed the locks.. She showed up and when she banged on the door she made a scene.. I called the police.. They showed up and when they found out that I had changed the locks they set me down and told me... She can bust the front door in while I'm standing there ( meaning him the cop ) and there is nothing I can do.. Legally it is her door to do as she wishes with as well as it is your door. Her name was NOT on the dee.. Only my name was and I bought the house 10 years befor the marriage. My attorney said that unless there is a filed separation aggreement filed saying who gets to stay in the MARITAL residense that it is both of ours.. and he said I had no right to change the locks.. I live in GA.. I don't know what your state law says.. But I'll bet it is the same in all states.. Marital residence is where you have resided while being married. So.. To anser your question.. I believe you can enter the marital residence anytime you want.. even if your name is not on the deed.. You could show up there with police to get your stuff and let them babysit him till you get your stuff.. They will do that.. all you have to do is ask
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Ignore most of my post... I thought you were married because you used the term Non-Marital assets..
Author beccabee Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 sorry, I guess my title was mis leading (i put non-marital because we are not married) but your story would still apply since we bought the home together and we are both owners.
NrclptcNSmniak Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 ya but either way.... if your name is on the deed... it's still partly your house... if your afraid of your x then ask the cops to help you out just like ac said... theyll babysit you while you get your stuff... edit: poo u stuck yours in right before i stuck mine in... haha my post is totally worthless now.. o well
downcydeguy Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Yea, the laws are different in all states. However, from what I know about this is that since you abandoned (I know, harsh word) your stuff and never returned, it could technically be considered his now. Again, this is different all over and it also depends on how long you've been gone. In this case, 4 months may not be long enough to be considered abandonment. It may sound a little silly to you, but I would suggest calling a lawyer and ask about that law. I did with my first ex. She left and only took a car load. She showed up at my door a little over 6 months later wanting to take the washer, dryer, and microwave. I was told that 6 months was abandonment - so I refused to let her take any of it. I would not suggest breaking in, though.
NrclptcNSmniak Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 bah u don't have to be so cautious ... if he ever did take you to court for stealing your own stuff back, then you could say something along the lines of you were afraid if he still harbored ill feelings for you and were afraid of causing an unecessary scene... trust me ... the laws aren't as strict as most some people think.... being the son of a lawyer, there are many ways to shyst your way through many situations.... and really... i don't think it would profit him in anyway way to take the matter to court.... you don't even have to break in... just go to a police station or something....
Author beccabee Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 I have been trying to negotiate getting my stuff back for 3 months now, I even have emails to prove it, as well as witnesses. I don't think that would constitute as abandonment?
Author beccabee Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 Good point NrclptcNSmniak, besides, I am afraid of being alone with him, there is no telling what he will do if he decides to go crazy.
NrclptcNSmniak Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 wow... how can u understand my stuff.... its written so incoherently...... hehe.... ive been really out of it lately cuz... of what happened and everything
mazza32cott Posted November 12, 2005 Posted November 12, 2005 I know at this stage you only want your stuff but how about half the assets? Did you work? Did you put into the house etc.... When I seperated from my ex he was a bully and very nasty. Because I didn't want any nastiness, I agreed to splitting everything in half even though I worked for 18 years out of our 18 year marraige and he only 8, even though I have the children. I could have got 70% and on top of only going for 50%, I didn't touch his business. He still tells everyone that I ripped him off and still tells me I have tuined him financially. People need to realise that the assets aren't just theirs. Don't let him bully you into giving him everything. Maz
dr strangelove Posted November 13, 2005 Posted November 13, 2005 I know how you feel becca. I was with my ex not too long. I had the option of being put on the lease. I didnt. Then she took the keys away from me. And my stuff was there. I had the cops involved. They talked to her about getting my stuff but they were short of useless. The guy told me that he would call her and she wouldnt answer. He had told me I should have nothing to do with her anymore.. Finally she showed up at my shop. I guess we gave it a shot at trying again.. but she would never let me go over there.. I had talked aboyt having someone else get my stuff. Finally she dropped off some of my stuff. She now claims that she has nothing of mine. I have no idea what is up with her .. she has my stuff. Calls me.. messages me . I have no idea what she wants.. My suggestion.. first try showing up with the cops and a way to take the stuff away. If that doesnt work take him to small claims.. Here its called "Unjust enrichment" Count yourself lucky in a way. At least you know where he is. For me I have to either pay a PI or someother method then go through all the crap.
Abandoned Husband Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 My wife and I have been married for a little over two years, but she has left home on several occassions. The first time that she left, she was gone for about a month. The second time she left was last year for five months. She left again this year and has been gone for about three months now. When my wife leaves, the children remain with me. I called the dept of child and family services in out state, but they said it is not considered abandonment. Under what grounds can I file for divorce?
txwildorchid Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 My wife and I have been married for a little over two years, but she has left home on several occassions. The first time that she left, she was gone for about a month. The second time she left was last year for five months. She left again this year and has been gone for about three months now. When my wife leaves, the children remain with me. I called the dept of child and family services in out state, but they said it is not considered abandonment. Under what grounds can I file for divorce? If your wife has left home and does not provide any support to you, the household, and/or the children financially or emotionally then it is considered abandonment after 30 days. However, I am not sure which state you reside in so certain laws may apply and timeframe could be longer. Nonetheless, you can still file divorce for abandonment by her. You can file for divorce however you see fit and it would be up to her to prove otherwise to the Court.
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