missdaisy1 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 So, basically, I work with my spouse in an office. We work together on projects. In general we get along, but several times in the past he has done things that has upset me like dismissing things I say, talking inappropriately to people (male or female... he talks dirty). Most recently I got upset because (this sounds stupid, but it's ridiculous). It was someone's birthday at the office and there was cake of course. He went to get some cake and another colleague (she works with our projects and is his assistant/not attractive) was serving the cake. I was about 10 ft away and I ask my husband, "hey "insertname" can I get a raspberry". I ask again a little louder. I get a little closer and ask again. I go up to the table and say directly, "can you get me a raspberry please". I ask her too and she doesn't respond. They were both so into their conversation and completely ignored me. I was so pissed because I literally asked like 6 effin times. When we get home I tell him that bothered me and he starts raising his voice and saying I'm jealous, etc etc. So, the next day, he's on his pc and asks me something and I start responding and she blurts something out and he completely dismissed what I was saying and just listens to her. This happened several times. Like wtf. He says I'm exaggerating and I'm just jealous. This assistant of his even interrupts him when he's in a meeting talking to a professional and she starts talking over him and he does nothing. How do you proceed in this situation? I probably need to get another job because this has happened several times in the past and I'm fed up with his bs and not caring about anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 54 minutes ago, missdaisy1 said: How do you proceed in this situation? I probably need to get another job because this has happened several times in the past and I'm fed up with his bs and not caring about anything. It sounds like there might be issues beyond working together. How’s the marriage aside from that? That being said, it’s tough working with your spouse as ultimately you shouldn’t be getting any special treatment from each other at work - at work you’re just colleagues. So asking him for a raspberry might not be appropriate- would you ask another colleague for that? Or did you do so because he was your spouse? Also, paying attention to someone talking in front of you over someone you’re messaging on your computer is pretty typical and I’d suggest expected. Again it’s work - do his assistant might be a more urgent work matter and takes precedence. Not saying that necessarily is the case here, but when married, it’s a good idea to give our spouse the benefit of the doubt all the time. Instead of framing things as them having bad intentions, ignoring you on purpose etc. frame it as him being engrossed in an interesting or important conversation with a colleague for example. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 That was dismissive & rude. I didn't see any jealousy on your part but a lot of projecting on his part. Do you think anything would improve if you no longer worked together? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 1 hour ago, missdaisy1 said: I probably need to get another job because this has happened several times in the past and I'm fed up with his bs It seems like a tense work environment and perhaps getting another job would be a solution to some of the issues. Did you delete your account? "Sorry, there is a problem This members profile is no longer active Error code: PROFILE_INACTIVE" Link to post Share on other sites
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