Dude26 Posted January 8, 2024 Posted January 8, 2024 If one grew up in a country where love marriages are common as compared to family who grew up in country where arranged marriages are common, how important is it to discuss plan of finding a partner? It would be awkward if I am trying to find someone for myself while family trying to find someone for me at same time. I prefer a love marriage.
Wiseman2 Posted January 8, 2024 Posted January 8, 2024 5 minutes ago, Dude26 said: It would be awkward if I am trying to find someone for myself while family trying to find someone for me at same time. Discuss with your parents the possiblity of doing both. For example discuss how much leeway you have in finding a wife. Ask your parents to help you find suitable women who have some qualities you're looking for. At the same time perhaps get a good profile and pics on quality matrimonial apps and start talking to women who have the qualities you're interested in and fit the criteria your parents would approve of. 1
Author Dude26 Posted January 8, 2024 Author Posted January 8, 2024 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Discuss with your parents the possiblity of doing both. For example discuss how much leeway you have in finding a wife. Ask your parents to help you find suitable women who have some qualities you're looking for. At the same time perhaps get a good profile and pics on quality matrimonial apps and start talking to women who have the qualities you're interested in and fit the criteria your parents would approve of. How important is parents approval? Edited January 8, 2024 by Dude26
Wiseman2 Posted January 8, 2024 Posted January 8, 2024 2 minutes ago, Dude26 said: How important is parents approval? Ask them. Keep in mind it may be important to women you date. If you object to this tradition, you can see if you are free to find your own wife.
ShyViolet Posted January 9, 2024 Posted January 9, 2024 1 hour ago, Dude26 said: How important is parents approval? That's entirely up to YOU. If you want to live your own life and not be under your parent's control, then you can make the decision that you don't need your parents' approval on your love life. If you do not want them to arrange a marriage for you, then tell them that. 1
NapoleonBonaparte Posted January 9, 2024 Posted January 9, 2024 If the arranged marriage aspect is such a big deal in your culture with valid repercussions, at least make sure your family is finding you different people to choose from than just 1 person.
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2024 Posted January 9, 2024 If the cultural norm is arranged marriage, parents' approval is very important. Even when love marriage is the norm, parental approval is a factor. You can't have family trying to pull your marriage apart because the spouse & the in-laws hate each other. 1
Els Posted January 9, 2024 Posted January 9, 2024 (edited) 16 hours ago, Dude26 said: How important is parents approval? As important as you allow it to be. I'm from a culture where people typically value parental approval highly, but at the end of the day the restrictions are all self-imposed. As long as you are financially independent, nobody can "make" you do anything you don't want to do (obviously, with the exception of legalities). You just have to be willing to stand your ground if needed. Will it cost you some family ties? Sure. But what is the value of freedom? Edited January 9, 2024 by Els
smackie9 Posted January 9, 2024 Posted January 9, 2024 You can have both. I live in an area where there is an enormous South Asian population, so I know a lot of the customs. From what I have seen, many families do select a potential partner, but it is still left up to the son or daughter to choose whom they want to be with. If they don't like them then the parents just try and find someone else. Some cultures throw parties with multiple suitors and let nature take it's course. That sounds more fun IMO. Kinda like a singles mixer.
Author Dude26 Posted January 9, 2024 Author Posted January 9, 2024 I’m sure if I went to find a partner on my own and she was same religion as me and culture then even if I didn’t tell my family anything about them they would most likely be accepting. It’s if I went and pursued a relationship with someone of a different religion or culture then I don’t know how they would feel about that but I’m sure they’d be okay with it.
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