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How long is too long?

SLB2022

By SLB2022
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SLB2022 Member

SLB2022

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When texting someone how long would you wait max not to reply if they take ages to reply? Does this mean they are  uninterested? Also yes I understand people have busy lives too but what is your opinion on this? As I don’t want to have the piss taking out of me either! 

MsJayne Established Member

MsJayne

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Most people have their 'phone within personal proximity and know when a text comes through, so it depends on the context of the message. If you asked a question you should expect a response within a couple of hours, keeping in mind that some people won't text back immediately because of other activities, or they may be intending to call you later instead. But if you just made some random comment which doesn't require a response,  they're not under any obligation to acknowledge the text. It sounds like you're referring to a dating scenario, and "interested" people tend to respond very quickly when interacting with a new potential partner, so if they don't reply within, say, four hours, (allows for work, etc, where they may not be able to respond immediately), I would say they're not that interested and I wouldn't send any further messages. 

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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21 minutes ago, SLB2022 said:

When texting someone how long would you wait max not to reply if they take ages to reply? Does this mean they are  uninterested? 

Are you dating or just talking through dating apps? How long have you been talking?  What, exactly, is "ages to reply"? Hours? Days?  

Interest is best determined in person. Have you met?  How important is texting to you? Does this person's communion style work for you? 

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SLB2022 Member

SLB2022

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14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Are you dating or just talking through dating apps? How long have you been talking?  What, exactly, is "ages to reply"? Hours? Days?  

Interest is best determined in person. Have you met?  How important is texting to you? Does this person's communion style work for you? 

Texting a few weeks and through WhatsApp and he will open it and then reply hours as in like maybe 9/10 being the longest…it’s casual so I’m not that bothered but just wondering on it as I’ve never texted someone who has taken that long to reply before lol also texting isn’t that important to me!, he works in London so haven’t met yet we were supposed to go on a date before he left but I was unwell… he is back in a few weeks and we are going to meet then..

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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14 minutes ago, SLB2022 said:

Texting a few weeks and through WhatsApp. he works in London so haven’t met yet we were supposed to go on a date before he left but I was unwell… he is back in a few weeks and we are going to meet then..

Could be a scammer. They like to move things to WhatsApp ASAP and usually have a bunch of excuses why they can't meet. Please don't give out too much personal information.

Basically, anyone who won't meet in a timely manner is a red flag.  Reconsider communication with this person who could be a scammer, catfish, in an another relationship or just a timewaster. 

Edited by Wiseman2
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SLB2022 Member

SLB2022

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7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Could be a scammer. They like to move things to WhatsApp ASAP and usually have a bunch of excuses why they can't meet. Please don't give out too much personal information.

Basically, anyone who won't meet in a timely manner is a red flag.  Reconsider communication with this person who could be a scammer, catfish, in an another relationship or just a timewaster. 

I have him on Snapchat and Instagram too…so I know he is real but it’s just the time frame 9/10 hours is a long time not to reply to someone…

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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12 minutes ago, SLB2022 said:

I have him on Snapchat and Instagram too…so I know he is real but it’s just the time frame 9/10 hours is a long time not to reply to someone…

Because he's not interested in meeting and probably doing other things rather than watching the phone.  He seems like a timewaster. 

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NapoleonBonaparte Member

NapoleonBonaparte

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[ ] What matters is the quality of the text. Is it adding value, or is it seeking value? 

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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IMO if they take ages to reply then they are not worth your time. Stop struggling with this, just block/delete. 

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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He takes hours to reply because he sees you as low priority.  I would move on.

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Maldives Established Member

Maldives

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On 1/9/2024 at 7:48 AM, SLB2022 said:

Texting a few weeks and through WhatsApp and he will open it and then reply hours as in like maybe 9/10 being the longest…it’s casual so I’m not that bothered but just wondering on it as I’ve never texted someone who has taken that long to reply before lol also texting isn’t that important to me!, he works in London so haven’t met yet we were supposed to go on a date before he left but I was unwell… he is back in a few weeks and we are going to meet then..

Shows lack of interest. Think of it like this, most phones/smart phones these days have notifications and alerts when a message comes through, so if he's taking hours to respond I just think it's not that important for him to respond within a timely manner. Either that or his playing mind games. The only other reason I can think of is if he's busy or engaged in doing something, responding would mean back and forth texting and he may not wanna do that if he's focused on a task or something or other. Still, if you really like someone I know I would respond pretty quickly. 

Edited by Goodguy05
Acacia98 Established Member

Acacia98

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If I am swamped with work and family responsibilities, I could easily take 10+ hours to respond. Especially when the folks I work with have gone on leave and I have a heavier workload.

There are still only 24 hours in a day, same as there were before I ever had a cellphone. And to work effectively, I have to focus on what I'm doing. There's a specific time I set aside for communication after the workday. If the person I'm communicating with is pissed off about that, they usually remove themselves from the picture. Problem solved.

I don't know if that's the situation with the guy you're communicating with. Time will tell.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Yes but it only take a second to text someone when they will have time to reply/have a chat.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Depends what he does for living. My daughter is a welder so there is no point of me texting her during work hours. 

I have an office job and l use my phone all day so l see everything coming in on my phone. I cannot start a text conversation but l will text a quick reply. 

All that being said, l doubt he makes his boss or his mom wait 10 hours for a reply. He's not that into you.

Alvi Established Member

Alvi

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On 1/8/2024 at 2:48 PM, SLB2022 said:

Texting a few weeks and through WhatsApp and he will open it and then reply hours as in like maybe 9/10 being the longest…it’s casual so I’m not that bothered but just wondering on it as I’ve never texted someone who has taken that long to reply before lol also texting isn’t that important to me!, he works in London so haven’t met yet we were supposed to go on a date before he left but I was unwell… he is back in a few weeks and we are going to meet then..

OP, you haven't ben this guy in person. For all you know, he could be married or in a relationship. Or he is busy at work.  Or dating multiple women at the same time. Anyway, you are looking for a casual. And this is pretty much what casual is.

But how can you make a person you haven't even met a priority?  Or better question would be, should you make a person you've never met a priority? I don't think it is too wise to get attached over the text to someone you haven't even met. 

Would it make you feel better if he was constantly texting  and love-bombing you before the two of you have even met? What if he was bombarding you with texts, pictures, love declarations, future-faking, etc...It seems like the date is already set up, so how much more communication is required before actually meeting? It's hard to say how he feels since the two of you haven't met.

You are going to meet him in few weeks so go see what he is like person. And in a meantime do talk and go on dates with other guys.

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Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

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8 minutes ago, Alvi said:

Would it make you feel better if he was constantly texting  and love-bombing you before the two of you have even met? What if he was bombarding you with texts, pictures, love declarations, future-faking, etc...It seems like the date is already set up, so how much more communication is required before actually meeting? It's hard to say how he feels since the two of you haven't met.

Agree.

Keep in mind, you both had plans to meet and you cancelled due to being unwell. That could have caused him to wonder if you're really interested or something entirely different. Sometimes when someone takes a long time to reply, it could mean that they're unsure or hesitant. Go on your date when he returns and see how it goes from there. It's better to have a face-to-face conversation than to speculate about texting habits.

Edited by Alpacalia
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SLB2022 Member

SLB2022

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1 hour ago, Alvi said:

OP, you haven't ben this guy in person. For all you know, he could be married or in a relationship. Or he is busy at work.  Or dating multiple women at the same time. Anyway, you are looking for a casual. And this is pretty much what casual is.

But how can you make a person you haven't even met a priority?  Or better question would be, should you make a person you've never met a priority? I don't think it is too wise to get attached over the text to someone you haven't even met. 

Would it make you feel better if he was constantly texting  and love-bombing you before the two of you have even met? What if he was bombarding you with texts, pictures, love declarations, future-faking, etc...It seems like the date is already set up, so how much more communication is required before actually meeting? It's hard to say how he feels since the two of you haven't met.

You are going to meet him in few weeks so go see what he is like person. And in a meantime do talk and go on dates with other guys.

Yeah I think what you’ve said is quite solid advice!, but no I wouldn’t want the love bombing at all but yes I have been on other dates so taking it easy, I just wanted to ask generally on the time frame but from the replies above there has been a few different takes on it lol! But thanks for this! As it’s been helpful advice!! 

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