I've just been called all the names under the sun by a colleague that is going to steal my work

[Stret]

A colleague from another industry (let's call him Steve) and I talked and decided that it would be great to do a project. Because he seemed a bit flaky and disorganised, saying he was very busy, I took it upon myself to write up everything, do all research - took 3 weeks of constant work. When I had it written he insisted I send it to him. I was reluctant, not knowing him that well and having a bad feeling about him (he got really exited so that he started screaming when I mentioned that I might have a way to actually fund it - I changed my mind about funding because it didn't feel right to earn anything on other people's misery). Despite this feeling, as he was insisting, I told him not to send the letter to anyone else, that it is my intellectual property (we are both self-employed) and that he cannot use anything from it. He promised he wouldn't and I sent him the letter. He also promised earlier that he will help disseminate it via his journalist friend whom he will ask to put me on his show.  I don't want to reveal the details but it is a very serious matter I was working on, matter of life and death. It took everything out of me. 
Meanwhile, I found an organisation that was going to host the letter on their platform and was taking some advice from them on how to approach dissemination - they are going to help but everyone is on holidays and will be back to office only in a couple of days. Steve in the meanwhile had some suggestions, but I told him I'd not want to disrespect the organisation that offered help and that has experience with this kind of thing, so let's wait and see what they say. He basically was eager to put his name of the paper I wrote, but he was also suggesting I put mine (I got a feeling that he was saying this just so that he doesn't sound too transparent in wanting to rip off my work to which he contributed nothing). I said nobody is putting name on the paper, it will be just for the cause, not for the career. 
After I sent him the letter, a couple of days later, his journalist friend posts some ideas from the letter on his social media! I immediately suspected that Steve shared the letter with him. Of all the people in the world, this guy is suddenly posting about it. He shouldn't have shared the letter until things were official and the letter was published by the organisation that agreed to help. He said he didn't know anything about it but I had a gut feeling.... Anyways, today I contacted him (after the letter has already been published) and asked if he contacted his journalist friend. He said he didn't but that just yesterday the producers of that friend's show (where he was supposed to arrange me to be) contacted him and asked him to talk about that exact topic of the letter I wrote. It was clear what was going on. He was actually going to use my letter and all my hard work and just talk from the letter that I wrote. 
I told him that I felt he tricked me. That I suspect that he sent my letter to the journalist and presented it as something he was involved in and he arranged for himself to be on the show. 

The stuff that ensued... oh dear lord. I was called neurotic. Insane lunatic. [ ] . Rude. How dare I suggest something like that? This went on and on and on... I tried telling him I was just honestly telling him how it looked to me, that he has not been true to his word and not interested unless he gets something out of it for himself (when it was clear that I will not allow his name on the paper he lost interest for the cause and totally ignored me).
I asked him why didn't he help out as he promised, it would have taken just a few min of his time to connect me with journalist, he said he was busy and sick but he was talking to them about me yesterday when they contacted him. I asked him if that were so, how come you didn't tell me anything? He said "it literally just happened tonight!" But in his voice mail, it happened yesterday. When I pointed this out he said he was confused because he was sick with fever.  
In either case, I tried to tell him my background and he called me a narcissistic who thinks the world is revolving around her and that everyone has to deal with her stuff. I did literal charity work, exhausted myself for the cause I believe in, and expected him to keep his end of the deal - which would take only a few min of his time. 
When I pointed out he just keeps throwing insults of the worst kind at me, he said I should bear responsibility for my actions (that I insulted him by insinuating he sent the letter to his friend and arranged a nice exposure for himself). So because he found himself insulted by my completely true allegations, now he will call me all the names under the sun for two hours under the excuse "you started it, you insulted me". So I finally had it, told him to f off, that I don't need his help with anything, and blocked him. before I blocked him ion WhatsApp, [ ]  Later, at 1 am, he sent me the SMS because I forgot to block him on ordinary messages - I haven't used those for years. His message said: 2 I genuinely hope you get the help you evidently so desperately need. Like I said: 1. I'll email and CC you tomorrow 2. I'll introduce you to them so you get your wish and go on the show 3. never ever under any circumstances contact me or talk about me ever again. I want a [ ]  free life devoid of bunny boiling lunatics who insult people for no reason and can't own and take responsibility for their actions and apologise.". I thought of all the things he wrote, this was the craziest and I had no idea where it all came from. He is telling me to never contact him again, after I told blocked him on social media and WhatsApp, so he went through the trouble of reaching me via SMS. I specifically told him I didn't want his help with it anymore, but now he is pushing that help on me.
I am not telling the whole story here - I tried to reason with him and explain how I feel at a few times during a couple of hours of message exchange, but he accused me of being a narcissist who insulted him and is now playing a victim. He was absolutely brutal and inhumane, anger was pouring from every line he wrote. I never called him any names. I didn't take things he said to me to heart, I know who I am, but this what he has done is shocking. Even if by some miracle it all happened by sheer coincidence (which it didn't) that, of all the people in the world, his journalist friend posted about the topic of the letter and had the same idea all by himself, that he was suddenly invited to talk about the topic of the letter on the show, that he confused tonight with yesterday (we talked in the evening), and even if I indeed accused a completely innocent man, his reaction was... well, everything he told me I was, he was x10. 
I caught him lying and repeating lie time after time in his defence. I don't trust him - he just strikes me as unreliable and untrustworthy kind of person. 

He will be on the show on Sunday. So in a day or two, depends where in the world you are. It's going to be horrible watch him steal my work. 

  

 

Edited January 6, 2024 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
offensive language

[basil67]

I'm so sorry this happened to you.  Can you seek legal advice?   It sounds like there would be a trail on your end, but only receiving the document on his

[Stret]

I don't want to escalate it with someone who has no control over himself. I thought of a poor woman that comes across his way in his private life - if this is how he treats his colleagues, imagine being with him in a relationship. A constant barrage of insults. 
 

[Acacia98]

So sorry about your experience, OP. Is there a way you can document the entire process? This guy sounds like the sort of person who'd tell others you stole his intellectual property.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. I know someone who successfully sued someone for infringing on  intellectual property. You seem to have enough evidence. 

[Stret]

14 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

So sorry about your experience, OP. Is there a way you can document the entire process? This guy sounds like the sort of person who'd tell others you stole his intellectual property.

I documented everything by saving the entire conversation on WhatsApp. I took screenshots, downloaded all media, and exported chat. I'll see what he actually does on Sunday, but he knows nothing about the topic. 
You know what was funny in all this? His reference to me as "bunny boiling lunatic" because I insulted him by insinuating he was dishonest (he was and was caught in lie twice during the conversation). He twisted everything that can be twisted. I know the type of people and I steer clear of them. One thing I don't like that I did is not trust my intuition in the first place when I sent him the letter against all my instincts. And also because I didn't interrupt the conversation when the first insult came out. Well, I guess I learned something. 

[Stret]

17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. I know someone who successfully sued someone for infringing on  intellectual property. You seem to have enough evidence. 

"copyright infringement occurs when a copyrighted work is reproduced, distributed, performed, publicly displayed, or made into a derivative work without the permission of the copyright owner."
Yes, I'm going to talk to the lawyers if he does steal anything from the letter and present it as his own thoughts and ideas. I really don't want any escalations though. But knowing myself, if someone steps over every line, I get even. After all, I feel I need to justify my new "bunny boiling lunatic" description. So, it will be: alright, let's roll. 

[ShyViolet]

I must ask, why did you get involved in a project with someone when he seemed flaky and disorganized, you didn't know him very well and had a bad feeling about him from the start?  You need to be more careful about who you work with.  Not blaming you but if there were red flags about him from the start it sounds like it was a big mistake to embark on this project with him.

[Els]

On 1/6/2024 at 2:17 PM, Stret said:

A colleague from another industry (let's call him Steve) and I talked and decided that it would be great to do a project. Because he seemed a bit flaky and disorganised, saying he was very busy, I took it upon myself to write up everything, do all research - took 3 weeks of constant work

Why did you even do this? Did you know that he was flaky when you decided to do a project with him? If not, I can understand why you started, but I can't understand why you continued on together when his flakiness made itself known, and spent 3 weeks doing 100% of a supposedly team project while still keeping him on the team. He's not even from your workplace, so we can't blame workplace politics. I feel like at some point during those 3 weeks, when you realized that this was essentially a solo endeavour, you should have told him that the collaboration wasn't working out and that you were going to do it alone.

And then sending him all your source material, without any legal protection??? Why??????

I don't know if there's much that can be done about it now. You should definitely talk to a lawyer, but in my (admittedly not lawyer) opinion, it's going to be very difficult for you to pursue this. Suing someone for a trademark, copyright or patent infringement requires that you have a legal trademark/copyright/patent to begin with, or that you otherwise made him sign a legal document like an IP rights document or NDA prior to sending him the information. If you hadn't done any of that, I'm not even sure if a lawyer will take up your case without being paid a LOT of money up front (because it seems unlikely that you would win it, or at least that there would be any profit to be had from winning).

On the other hand, if you know where he works, it sounds like his employer might be interested in seeing those messages that he sent you...

 

Edited January 11, 2024 by Els

[d0nnivain]

Consult a lawyer.  If you can prove you wrote this stuff 1st you may have a claim for something called tortious interference with a prospective economic advantage.  

[Acacia98]

On 1/6/2024 at 9:18 AM, Stret said:

I'll see what he actually does on Sunday, but he knows nothing about the topic. 
 

Hey, Stret, what's the current situation? Did he go through with it?

Edited January 14, 2024 by Acacia98

[Stret]

Right before the show, I threatened him (and cc[ed the show) with copyrights lawsuit if he as much as associates himself with the project, or uses any points I made and arguments I presented.... it worked! He completely avoided talking about it and then when he was asked a question about the project gave the credit to me. 
I'm afraid my mother was right - with some people, being nice doesn't work and you have to show teeth. 

[Stret]

On 1/11/2024 at 4:31 PM, Els said:

Why did you even do this? Did you know that he was flaky when you decided to do a project with him? If not, I can understand why you started, but I can't understand why you continued on together when his flakiness made itself known, and spent 3 weeks doing 100% of a supposedly team project while still keeping him on the team. He's not even from your workplace, so we can't blame workplace politics. I feel like at some point during those 3 weeks, when you realized that this was essentially a solo endeavour, you should have told him that the collaboration wasn't working out and that you were going to do it alone.

And then sending him all your source material, without any legal protection??? Why??????

I don't know if there's much that can be done about it now. You should definitely talk to a lawyer, but in my (admittedly not lawyer) opinion, it's going to be very difficult for you to pursue this. Suing someone for a trademark, copyright or patent infringement requires that you have a legal trademark/copyright/patent to begin with, or that you otherwise made him sign a legal document like an IP rights document or NDA prior to sending him the information. If you hadn't done any of that, I'm not even sure if a lawyer will take up your case without being paid a LOT of money up front (because it seems unlikely that you would win it, or at least that there would be any profit to be had from winning).

On the other hand, if you know where he works, it sounds like his employer might be interested in seeing those messages that he sent you...

 

It was supposed to be a common project (unpaid, very sensitive and based on conviction to do the right thing) - but yes, I got the feeling he is not reliable and will not put in any work while wanting the credit. Why did I send him my material is to have a second pair of eyes on it before it goes public...but never got any feedback from him. Also, it is a very lonely pursuit to be involved in a research, sitting alone 12 hours a day without a day off, not being able to talk to anyone as it was a confidential project, etc. It wears you down psychologically, and you don't speak to another human being for weeks, sometimes months when involved in something like this. I guess I learned my lesson - it is better to suffer alone than share with people who are flaky. I didn't really KNOW he was flaky, I just had a feeling and thought he might be depressed and unable to get his s*** together, so I gave him that benefit of a doubt and didn't want to kick him off. 
I will not pursue his employment or anything like that.  A person that behaves that way already has loads of problems it seems. Nobody whose life is a bed of roses behaves so nastily. In the end, his words didn't hurt me as much as shocked me. One thing I was wondering all along is if he had a gf - I don't think so but whoever crosses his path is going to be in for a rough ride. 

BTW, copyrights are always author's own, no need to specially register it anywhere like the case with patents. I did threaten him with a lawsuit and it worked.