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Should I be upset about being left out?


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I’m just wanting to know if I’m overthinking things. I have a group of 5 girlfriends from school (we are now 45 yo with kids). We catch up whenever we can for special occasions or dinners. This NYE one of the girls put a photo on our group messenger we have going where we tell each other life things and catch ups etc. It was a photo of 3 of the girls on NYE (one of the girls is away so wouldn’t have been invited) so this leaves me being the only one excluded! I’m hurt but also understand people have lives outside of me and we don’t always need to catch up as a group. They know I work shift work as a nurse and I’m a single Mum of 3 but normally they would ask if I’m working. They also know it’s the weekend I didn’t have the kids. Am I being petty and sensitive? Btw I do have lots of other close friends. I’m just wondering whether I should be steering clear of this group for a bit! Thanks. 

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Wiseman2
1 hour ago, BeachTD said:

. They know I work shift work as a nurse and I’m a single Mum of 3 but normally they would ask if I’m working.  I do have lots of other close friends. 

Sorry this happened. Sometimes the holidays are tough especially for single people.  Why not think of them as acquaintances?  There's no reason to stop being friends, but it's understandable you felt left out. 

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Thanks for your response. Yes, that’s a good idea to think of them as acquaintances. It’s never happened before so I wonder what’s changed. 

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d0nnivain

Yes you can be hurt.  I would be.   

I'd reach out & ask about the event.  Express that you were hurt.  Ask if you did something to upset them.  (you probably didn't but still)  Anyway, clear the air but in a nice way.  They probably assumed you were working or it was more spontaneous then it appeared.  

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ShyViolet

You could say "gee, thanks for inviting me" 

I'd consider saying that!

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Alpacalia

March to your own rhythm.

If you rely solely on a small group of people to fulfill all of your needs and desires, you will ultimately run into discord and exclusion.

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Thanks. I feel petty for bringing it up but the friend whose house it was at is one of my closest friends (we lived together here and when we lived overseas together 20 years ago). It’s really unusual so best I ask about it nicely! She has texted me Happy New Year all happily and friendly but I just don’t want to respond. Unfortunately, if I feel betrayed by someone I distance myself. It was tempting to write “wow, thanks for the invite” but then I’ll look like the crap person! 

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