WRbeach60954 Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 I just started thinking and couldnt come up with a good, indepth reason for having sex? Other than it feels good and is fun. Is there a better reason? I hear so many people say, "I think sex is unnecessary", and I cant seem to come up with an arguement against that. Just curious what some of you have to say.
TUDOR Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Sex is not necessary in a relationship only if you are physically incapable of having sex. But two perfectly healthy people in a relationship that aren't having sex is what we call a destine to fail relationship.
RainyDayWoman Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 But two perfectly healthy people in a relationship that aren't having sex is what we call a destine to fail relationship. or...."friends"............
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 But two perfectly healthy people in a relationship that aren't having sex is what we call a destine to fail relationship. No, that attitude is what causes relationships to fail. Just because Hollywood tells you to have sex doesn't mean it's always the smart thing to do.
glittergurl Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 No, that attitude is what causes relationships to fail. Just because Hollywood tells you to have sex doesn't mean it's always the smart thing to do. lol have you ever been in love? This has nothing to do with Hollywood. When you're head over heels with someone, I can guarantee you, it's hard to keep your hands off of them. Making love is so much more than just getting physical. It's heaven with the person you love.
Art_Critic Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 No, that attitude is what causes relationships to fail. Just because Hollywood tells you to have sex doesn't mean it's always the smart thing to do. where did hollywood come into this ?? Tudor is right..Sex or Physical intimacy in almost all realtionships is necesary to help build the bonding that it takes to get thru the years
Walk Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 A_C nailed it. Emotional connection. There are scientific studies done on chemicals released during sex. Oxytocin - This is released by the hypothalamus gland during child birth and also helps the breast express milk. It helps cement the strong bond between mother and child. It is also released by both sexes during orgasm and it is thought that it promotes bonding when adults are intimate. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes Vasopressin is another important hormone in the long-term commitment stage and is released after sex. Vasopressin (also called anti-diuretic hormone) works with your kidneys to control thirst. Its potential role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole. Prairie voles indulge in far more sex than is strictly necessary for the purposes of reproduction. They also – like humans - form fairly stable pair-bonds. When male prairie voles were given a drug that suppresses the effect of vasopressin, the bond with their partner deteriorated immediately as they lost their devotion and failed to protect their partner from new suitors. It's the stupid right-wing feminist thinking that sex is putting us into slavery that causes so many dumb arguments. Like woman aren't horny too?!? I love sex! I may not be as driven as some men, but I can't live without it. And you'll never hear a woman say "hugging and kissing are unnecessary, so why do we do it?" Saying sex is unnecessary in a relationship, would be the same as telling me that affectionate acts like hugs and kisses are unnecessary.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 lol have you ever been in love? This has nothing to do with Hollywood. When you're head over heels with someone, I can guarantee you, it's hard to keep your hands off of them. Making love is so much more than just getting physical. It's heaven with the person you love. "lol" are you ever not catty? Yes I have been in love, and obviously more than you because I don't have to use sex as a crutch. I would like one person to explain to me why a relationship "needs" sex and will be "destine (?) to fail" without it. Walk: You can love someone without hugging or kissing them.
Art_Critic Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 I would like one person to explain to me why a relationship "needs" sex and will be "destine (?) to fail" without it. Are you reading the posts ?? Emotional connection .. It helps build the bonding necesary for the long haul relationships. You can love someone all you want and still not make it thru the long haul.. It takes acceptance and a certain emotional connection to do that
TUDOR Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 No, that attitude is what causes relationships to fail. Just because Hollywood tells you to have sex doesn't mean it's always the smart thing to do. Settle down, I am not saying everyone who is dating should be f*cking. Sex is an important part of a committed relationship and certainly a marriage. And that has nothing to do with Hollywood.....hell you can get a marriage annuled if you have never consimated it so even the law recognizes the importance of having sex in your marriage. Sex is a vital part of a relationship because it is an extension of emotion, a way to show your love without words, a moment in time to be one instead of two. Sex is not just about fun or feeling good....it is very giving thing and one the most precious things one can give to another. To give yourself to another is the biggest gift of all.
JS17 Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Sex is a vital part of a relationship beicause it an extension of emotion, a way to show your love without words, a moment in time to be one instead of two. Sex is not just about fun or feeling good....it is very giving thing and one the most precious things one can give to another. To give yourself to another is the biggest gift of all. Tudor, you should quit your job and start writing for after school specials.
NrclptcNSmniak Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 would like one person to explain to me why a relationship "needs" sex and will be "destine (?) to fail" without it. i think the term is destined to fail.. but anyway... the one reason i could think to support this statement is that... after a set period of time... the guy is gonna get horny... horny beyond explanation... that testosterone is some ... potent stuff.... and that lack of physical expression will cause him to have (if the girl isn't putting out) doubts about whether she finds him attractive, or if she is in love with him, or any other insecurities about himself will then actually pop up and might manifest themselves as anger or resentment or many other feelings... not to mention the added frustration just makes all those bad emotions worse....... even if you talk about it... after a year with being with someone if they give you the same im not ready or any other excuse for that matter... itll sound like just that... an excuse not to have sex. in a relationship you should be honest to yourself about your own feelings and to your partner... if you both wanna do it, then by all means you should... well as long as your protected anyway. but if you feel no type of physical attraction to him then its just like being in love with your sister or brother... which isn't what a real relationship is about. also there is the chance that even though he loves the girl he'll cheat on her just for the sex.... all we are deep down are animals anyway.....if you suppress your basic instincts theyre only gonna pop up in other more destructive ways... well... its not like i really know first hand what it feels like... since the only girl ive been with didn't have a problem with sex..... actually she kinda did and still does... but thats another story
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Sex is a vital part of a relationship beicause it an extension of emotion, a way to show your love without words, a moment in time to be one instead of two. Sex is not just about fun or feeling good....it is very giving thing and one the most precious things one can give to another. To give yourself to another is the biggest gift of all. Do you realize everything you just said there is directly from Hollywood? Haha. What if I choose to "extend my emotions" in a less Hollywood-deified way? What if I choose to imbue--I don't know, going to the supermarket with my significant other with these emotions society has told us to give sex? The only reason we choose sex above going to the supermarket is because sex feels better. It's stupid to say the most precious thing you can give anyone is sex. Technically, you can give everyone in the world sex. How precious is that? I'd say giving one's life is more meaningful, since you can only do that once
TUDOR Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Tudor, you should quit your job and start writing for after school specials. Nah...I would just screw kids more up than they already are.
TUDOR Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Do you realize everything you just said there is directly from Hollywood? Haha. What if I choose to "extend my emotions" in a less Hollywood-deified way? What if I choose to imbue--I don't know, going to the supermarket with my significant other with these emotions society has told us to give sex? The only reason we choose sex above going to the supermarket is because sex feels better. You really need to get past this Hollywood thing...Hollywood, movies, music all are ART and art as you may or may not know imitates life. Just because because I watch the Godfather doesn't mean I am going to cut off horse's head and put in someones bed. People don't have sex because of what they see or hear, they do it because it is a natural human trait. We are born with it. I go to the grocery store all the time with my wife and sure it is nice gesture and a way to show that I love her enough to do that with her instead of watching football or porn. There are countless ways to show your love that do not involve sex and you should still do all those. And yes some gestures can even be a better way to prove your love rather than sex...especially if you suck in bed. But no sex in relationship for the rest of your life goes against your very human nature. Forget about what you could convice your mind of, you body would be caos as well.
JS17 Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 What if I choose to "extend my emotions" in a less Hollywood-deified way? What if I choose to imbue--I don't know, going to the supermarket with my significant other with these emotions society has told us to give sex? Then I would say, I'm not touching the produce in your supermarket
NrclptcNSmniak Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 did everyone just completely ignore my post?.... and really chariot.... what is up with you..... ppl had sex before hollywood came along............... haha
NrclptcNSmniak Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Then I would say, I'm not touching the produce in your supermarket haha i don't know exactly what the guy or girl is saying past the first sentence but... hahahaha nice response edit: girl... figures hahaha
whichwayisup Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Having sex is an emotional connection, like A_C said and it helps the intimacy grow between two people who are inlove. It helps evolve the relationship to the next level. I'm not saying that two people can't be close intimately without sex, but to share your body and be completely at ease with your partner definately makes the emotional bond stronger. Ok, does life immitate art or art immitate life? Bit of both eh? Either way, one shouldn't be "living" what they see on TV as it's not really REAL and TUDOR is right, just because we see stuff on the boobtube, doesn't mean we have to follow up to it or live it.
Art_Critic Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Then I would say, I'm not touching the produce in your supermarket .. especially the cucumbers
Walk Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 The only reason we choose sex above going to the supermarket is because sex feels better. Hmm... I think this would come from someone who hasn't had sex with someone they are deeply and truely in love with. Sex can be just f***ing. Or sex can be making love. No, it will never be like "shopping", because there isn't the same phsyical reaction. There isn't the same release of chemicals, and there isn't any extreme close phsyical touching. If you can equate sex to shopping, maybe you're not doing something right. heh. Personaly, I think we could all post til we're blue in the face, and this girl will never get it until she's been there.
glittergurl Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Personaly, I think we could all post til we're blue in the face, and this girl will never get it until she's been there. Exactly. Thanks, Walk.
Tangerina Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Yah, so I kind of missed that bandwagon, but my ex BF used to ALWAYS, as in any time we went to the supermarket... arange bananas with rounder fruit to make a little cock n balls... it was funny, like... once.... but he kept doing it and kept doing it... one of those stupid quirks that makes you want to strangle someone... it didn't stop there... if he had any remotely phalic fruit or veggie on hand he would hold it at his croch and pretend it was his cock... that wasn't even funny once... but he kept doing it and doing it.... As to why have sex??? Because we are freakin mammals and that is what mammals do!!! you can come up with all sorts of excuses based on logic or religion or philosophy, but the fact that we have crossword puzzles and race cars doesn't change the fact that we were essentially created to do it lots and make babies and continue the human race.... I get really frustrated when people assume that denying our basic instincts is somehow higher ground... I mean, as thinking, feeling, emotional beings I don't think it is healthy to just go giving it away left and right unless that is what really makes us happy, because for many of us that would hurt our emotions... but denying that we crave and need sex is silly.... I do think it is cool that humans can have sex just for pleasure though, and to create stronger bonds with our loved one... I also think it is cool that I have a clit which doesn't do anything except give me pleasure.... why would I have that... which, as I said, has no other function, if I wasn't meant to use it..... on a more personal level... why have sex? Because, yah, it does feel good and because I love him and because it makes me happy to make him happy and it makes him happy to make me happy and because it beats the hell out of playing cards and because it brings us closer together and lets us share something that we don't share with anyone else and because he is sexy as hell and I don't think I could resist anyways and because it adds spice to life and our relationship... so many things to discover and try, new sensations new emotions, it doesn't matter how many times you do it or with how many people, there is always something unique between two individuals and I could be happy spending the rest of my life exploring that with him and cuz he is really good at it and cuz we are both kinky which is soooo fun And because of the way he looks at me and because I am a freakin mammal and it is my instinct, just like hunger or thirst, so I am unhappy without it
Recommended Posts