Author HeyHey22 Posted December 28, 2023 Author Posted December 28, 2023 1 hour ago, Sony12 said: Yeah from what you said it sounds like a hookup situation. So if you aren't looking for first date sex from this might want to cancel. And to be honest men saying they are in the military is one of the most common lines they give as they know women like men in a uniform. He was bragging saying he looks very hot in it. I told him I am not looking for sex I want to meet him but I feel he will be pushy. He said he wants to get to know me so bad….
Author HeyHey22 Posted December 28, 2023 Author Posted December 28, 2023 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: He seems to be looking for hookups. It's not confusing. Yeah he did originally say he wants fun but is willing to meet me even if it’s just to talk to me. I don’t know if I should take his word for it. He hasn’t asked me for nudes or anything. We stopped texting after we agreed to meet tomorrow.
Sony12 Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 11 minutes ago, HeyHey22 said: Yeah he did originally say he wants fun but is willing to meet me even if it’s just to talk to me. I don’t know if I should take his word for it. He hasn’t asked me for nudes or anything. We stopped texting after we agreed to meet tomorrow. A guy telling a girl he just wants to talk is about the most common line they throw at young ladies to convince them to meet. Unless you just want sex with this guy as well might as well not bother to meet. From what you have said about him thus far he doesn't sound like all that good of a conversationalist anyways. 1
Author HeyHey22 Posted December 28, 2023 Author Posted December 28, 2023 4 minutes ago, Sony12 said: A guy telling a girl he just wants to talk is about the most common line they throw at young ladies to convince them to meet. Unless you just want sex with this guy as well might as well not bother to meet. From what you have said about him thus far he doesn't sound like all that good of a conversationalist anyways. Yeah that is true, we both actually haven’t asked any basic questions like what are hobbies are. He only asked about my ethnicity, since we share the same cultural background. Honestly I was excited to meet him. I even texted him saying I was looking forward to it and he said he was too. But you are probably right, I think it’s best to delete his contact and not text him again. Back to the daily swipes I go
Sony12 Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 12 minutes ago, HeyHey22 said: Yeah that is true, we both actually haven’t asked any basic questions like what are hobbies are. He only asked about my ethnicity, since we share the same cultural background. Honestly I was excited to meet him. I even texted him saying I was looking forward to it and he said he was too. But you are probably right, I think it’s best to delete his contact and not text him again. Back to the daily swipes I go Yep. And to be honest if you are just in your early twenties yourself you probably aren't going to find too many guys younger than you who will want anything other than to get laid (at least online anyways). Look for guys either the same age as you or a bit older. 1
Alpacalia Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 3 hours ago, HeyHey22 said: He asked me on monday night “you free tonight?” I replied “No, I am visiting relatives for christmas” Then yesterday he asks “what you doing tonight;)” I replied “I am with my friend” he said “aww that’s too bad love” So now he said he is fine meeting tomorrow. He said he has someone to see tonight? I’m confused. He sounds very casual. Last minuted invites. Just read the rest of your thread. In the future, if you're not looking for hookups and he says he is then that's where it ends. He's obviously trying to get you to still meet up with him for a hookup. It's always good to chat a bit first too, when single, to get a feel for someone. So when he didn't reply to your dinner suggestion you know that he was looking for just a hookup/searching for easy hookups. 1
Acacia98 Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 (edited) 14 hours ago, HeyHey22 said: I don’t understand. Given his age, the fact that he's in the military (I guess that means he's not very accessible, and that translates into little long-term potential), and the fact that he seemingly keeps trying to set up hookups, I'd say this is not the guy for you. If he has ghosted you, that saves you some trouble. Unmatch him and focus on interacting with folks whose behaviour you can understand well. Edited December 28, 2023 by Acacia98
Author HeyHey22 Posted December 28, 2023 Author Posted December 28, 2023 6 hours ago, Acacia98 said: Given his age, the fact that he's in the military (I guess that means he's not very accessible, and that translates into little long-term potential), and the fact that he seemingly keeps trying to set up hookups, I'd say this is not the guy for you. If he has ghosted you, that saves you some trouble. Unmatch him and focus on interacting with folks whose behaviour you can understand well. Unfortunately I only get guys who are 19 at one point I got a guy who’s 17 but lied saying he was 18. I’m thinking of lying about my age and turn it to 30 instead of 23. So I won’t get those people anymore.
d0nnivain Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 You lying won't help. Put something in your profile about over 21 only please 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 53 minutes ago, HeyHey22 said: Unfortunately I only get guys who are 19 at one point I got a guy who’s 17 but lied saying he was 18. I’m thinking of lying about my age. Have you tried apps other than Tinder? Hopefully you can at least set some screening and matching criteria up Especially the basics such as age and distance. There's no point lying when you can simply swipe left on the teenagers. Why not set your criteria for 23- 29 or something along those lines? 1
stillafool Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 14 hours ago, HeyHey22 said: I’m not sure, I told him I don’t do hookups anymore. He did state he wants sex and that is why he is on the app. But he said he will meet me anyways because he wants to get to know me? He probably changed his mind and decided he does want sex so forget it. Don't tell guys you don't do hookups ANYMORE. It's none of their business what you used to do and if they find out you used to do hookups but won't with them, they feel slighted and turned off. 2
stillafool Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Why not set your criteria for 23- 29 or something along those lines? I agree. What age are you setting that you're only getting 17 and 19 year olds?
Alpacalia Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 I know people that have found long-term relationships and marriage through Tinder but they were older. I would surmise that a 19 year old is not looking for long term relationships but is merely into experimenting. And yes, Tinder definitely plays a role in THAT dating culture. There may be older individuals who are also looking for casual relationships on the app as well. No matter which app you choose you do have to do a bit of screening and sift through potential matches to find those who are actually looking for something more serious. I would say when they say that are just looking to 'hook-up' it's pretty easy for you to distinguish who is worth your time or not. Don't try to entertain those that are just looking for sex, because despite their claims otherwise, sex is likely all they're after. Last minute invites for a first meet and very sexual messages are red flags. Calling you 'love' seems very familiar out of the gate also. If what they're looking for doesn't align with what you're looking for in terms of potential, then you move on and don't look back - keep finding someone who does align with what you're looking for.
FredEire Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 Agree with everyone else that in this day and age and especially on apps like Tinder it would be unusual for a guy that age NOT to mainly be looking for casual sex. Unless you're cool with that it probably isn't worth the time and potential heartache.
stillafool Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 18 hours ago, HeyHey22 said: So now he said he is fine meeting tomorrow. He said he has someone to see tonight? I’m confused. There's nothing to be confused about, he had a date that night and probably got his itch scratched.
Author HeyHey22 Posted December 28, 2023 Author Posted December 28, 2023 1 hour ago, FredEire said: Agree with everyone else that in this day and age and especially on apps like Tinder it would be unusual for a guy that age NOT to mainly be looking for casual sex. Unless you're cool with that it probably isn't worth the time and potential heartache. Thanks, I ended up canceling the date and told him to take care and blocked him. 1
Author HeyHey22 Posted December 28, 2023 Author Posted December 28, 2023 38 minutes ago, stillafool said: There's nothing to be confused about, he had a date that night and probably got his itch scratched. Yea that’s true I cancelled the date. It’s for the best.
FredEire Posted December 28, 2023 Posted December 28, 2023 4 minutes ago, HeyHey22 said: Thanks, I ended up canceling the date and told him to take care and blocked him. Right, just chalk it down as two people looking for different things. No big deal. 1
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