He talks about sex but ?

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

4 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

Are you dating?

Why are you showing him sexy pictures of your cousin?

Why are you showing him sexy pictures of yourself, for that matter?  

If he's your coworker, and you are showing him these pictures at work - that's kine of odd behavior, don't you think?   

We aren't showing these at work, it's when he's home or when we go out

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

7 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately he's not interested in a relationship or dating. Maybe he doesn't want messy workplace romances, maybe he has a GF, maybe he only dates women from his culture, etc. If you're not interested in sexting,why do it? He has to work with you anyway whether you sext him or not. 

He was married and divorced so he doesn't have a gf

[Alpacalia]

Despite his open-mindedness when it comes to sexual activities, he seems to have a major issue with what women wear. His hypocrisy is almost laughable, as he actively seeks out casual sex and shares explicit images, yet recoils in horror at the sight of a slightly revealing cami top. It's clear that this man is a walking bundle of contradictions, and frankly, he sounds like a sad excuse for a human being.

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

5 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Despite his open-mindedness when it comes to sexual activities, he seems to have a major issue with what women wear. His hypocrisy is almost laughable, as he actively seeks out casual sex and shares explicit images, yet recoils in horror at the sight of a slightly revealing cami top. It's clear that this man is a walking bundle of contradictions, and frankly, he sounds like a sad excuse for a human being.

Yes so i don't understand why he would do this 

[ExpatInItaly]

29 minutes ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

Yes so i don't understand why he would do this 

We can't tell you with any degree of accuracy either, OP. We can only speculate. 

Are you going to continue seeing him? 

[Wiseman2]

33 minutes ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

Yes so i don't understand why he would do this 

It seems like you do. He's from a conservative culture but you enjoy sending him racy pics and you both enjoy sexting. 

[stillafool]

14 hours ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

He shares explicit images of naked women receiving oral from men then why do all this judging ??

Have you ever bothered to ask him why he does this?  If not, why?

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

19 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It seems like you do. He's from a conservative culture but you enjoy sending him racy pics and you both enjoy sexting. 

I don't send him racy pics. 

[BaileyB]

This is seriously the strangest conversation - 

“I work with this guy who I really want to date, but he’s got weird hang ups about sex and he’s very judgmental and controlling toward women. Does anybody know why he is this way?”

Indeed, he’s got a distorted view of women and relationships. Lots of men in this world do. This is why we date - to weed out these men if what you are looking for is a healthy and respectful partner/relationship.

Edited December 26, 2023 by BaileyB

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

1. 1 minute ago, BaileyB said:

   This is seriously the strangest conversation - 

   “I work with this guy who I really want to date, but he’s got weird hang ups about sex and he’s very judgmental and controlling toward women. Does anybody know why he is this way?”
   
   Indeed, he’s got a distorted view of women and relationships. Lots of men in this world do. This is why we date - to weed out these men if what you are looking for is a healthy and respectful partner/relationship.

   the top she was wearing was low cut revealing her cleavage and her midriff as well and he looked positively disturbed saying what is she wearing, this is for bed

[BaileyB]

11 minutes ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

1. the top she was wearing was low cut revealing her cleavage and her midriff as well and he looked positively disturbed saying what is she wearing, this is for bed

Yes, we understand that he was very judgmental about her clothing. You have made that point - 

The more important question - why are you sexting with this man? When you discover something that concerns you when getting to know a man, that is your cue to walk away… why have you not done that? 

[ExpatInItaly]

You dodge a lot of questions, so I'll try one more time:

Why are you even interested in this weirdo?

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

1 minute ago, BaileyB said:

Yes, we understand that he was very judgmental about her clothing. You have made that point - 

The more important question - why are you sexting with this man? When you discover something that concerns you when getting to know a man, that is your cue to walk away… why have you not done that? 

He says he doesn't judge and its not hs place to say such things on clothes when I once asked him if he didn't like the dresses on my sketches.

I want to give him a chance that's why

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

You dodge a lot of questions, so I'll try one more time:

Why are you even interested in this weirdo?

I want to give him a chance.

But I feel like if I send him nudes etc he will judge me 

[ExpatInItaly]

3 minutes ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

I want to give him a chance.

Can I ask why? 

Surely you can do better than a hypocritical creep. 

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

Just now, ExpatInItaly said:

Can I ask why? 

Surely you can do better than a hypocritical creep. 

I like him, he's financially stable and I like older men that's why 

[ExpatInItaly]

2 minutes ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

I like him, he's financially stable and I like older men that's why 

If that's all you're looking for, proceed.

It's up to you if want to ignore the red flags. 

[BaileyB]

16 minutes ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

He says he doesn't judge and its not hs place to say such things on clothes when I once asked him if he didn't like the dresses on my sketches.

But clearly he does judge. And clearly, that is a problem for you.

This is not about giving him a chance - you have already done so. What you are looking for is reassurance that you are not wrong to ignore the red flags here - and nobody is going to say that. Proceed at your own risk.

Edited December 26, 2023 by BaileyB

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

9 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

But clearly he does judge. And clearly, that is a problem for you.

This is not about giving him a chance - you have already done so. What you are looking for is reassurance that you are not wrong to ignore the red flags here - and nobody is going to say that. Proceed at your own risk.

 

12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

If that's all you're looking for, proceed.

It's up to you if want to ignore the red flags. 

Will he judge if I send him nudes etc???

[BaileyB]

1 minute ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

 

Will he judge if I send him nudes etc???

You think that this man who judges women for dressing inappropriately (in his opinion) will respect you and see you as a legitimate dating prospect if you send him a nude photo of yourself? 

[ExpatInItaly]

8 minutes ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

Will he judge if I send him nudes etc???

Yes.

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

17 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

You think that this man who judges women for dressing inappropriately (in his opinion) will respect you and see you as a legitimate dating prospect if you send him a nude photo of yourself? 

He has sent his nudes (not showing his D) but he said he's not shy or prudish but then he will judge me and think I'm not dating material??

 

[Meangreenmysterymachine]

15 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Yes.

And if the girl has sex with him then also he will judge ?

[ExpatInItaly]

2 minutes ago, Meangreenmysterymachine said:

And if the girl has sex with him then also he will judge ?

We have no idea. 

 

[NuevoYorko]

1 hour ago, BaileyB said:

 

“I work with this guy who I really want to date, but he’s got weird hang ups about sex and he’s very judgmental and controlling toward women. Does anybody know why he is this way?”
 

And don't forget to mention this part of the conversation from the OP:  "He reacts oddly when I show him pictures of myself  and my cousin in lingerie.  Will he judge me if I send him nudes?"

And ... OP said she's "talking to a Muslim man" and basically they show each other lewd pictures.  Yes she said they date every week but that's not "talking" and it seems like all that really happens is that they are swapping naughty pictures.

Seems like it's what they both like doing.

I just wish OP would leave her cousin out if it though.  That is downright creepy.