Stood up my girlfriend by accident, I don't think she'll let it pass

[Clepan]

I want to start by stating that I have no excuse. What I did was wrong.

This has been a hard and stressful week. My dad is getting a major surgery in 2 days, I had a very stressful exam and my head hasn't been pretty much ok from my levels of stress.

My girlfriend was having an important event on Friday. She reminded me on Thursday morning. On Thursday night I received a call from my dad and he was asking me to go help him the next day, and I said yes. 

Friday morning I get ready to go see my dad and when I got home I saw a photo from my girlfriend's event. I messed up instead by congratulating her instead of telling her that I forgot and went to see my dad.

She's extremely upset since it was very important for her and she's right that I forgot about it.

This is the 3rd time in less that 6 months that I have messed up, but this one is the worst. I fear that this is going to be the tipping point and that we are going to break up. I feel I would deserve it, since I have f***ed up several times now and keep doing it, but at the same time I love her so much.

I'm ashamed of forgetting something so important to her and I feel that my actions are speaking louder than my words and that it's showing her I don't care for her, which is not true, but that is the reality I'm projecting.

She has given me many chances this past year, but I don't know if I should get one this time.

[Wiseman2]

29 minutes ago, Clepan said:

This is the 3rd time in less that 6 months that I have messed up, but this one is the worst. I fear that this is going to be the tipping point and that we are going to break up. I feel I would deserve it, since I have f***ed up several times now and keep doing it, 

Sorry this is happening. How long have you been dating? Please apologize to her.  It's unclear why you won't send a simple text alerting her that something came up.

Reflect if you are sabotaging the relationship and why. Once is a slip up but every few weeks seems like a pattern.  If you are too stressed out for a relationship please reconsider it.

Edited December 16, 2023 by Wiseman2

[Clepan]

10 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How long have you been dating?Please apologize to her.  It's unclear why you won't send a simple text alerting her that something came up.

Reflect if you are sabotaging the relationship and why. Once is a slip up but every few weeks seems like a pattern.  If you are too stressed out for a relationship please reconsider it.

We have been a couple for almost 4 years now.

I forgot completely about it. I just had in my mind to go see my dad. I briefly remembered her event but it soon got forgotten again to go se my dad. That's why I didn't text an apology or anything before.

The things I keep forgetting just keep getting worse. It's not on purpose, but she feels neglected and it's completely understandable because, like it or not, I'm being a jerk.

I don't want to break up, but I keep hurting her by messing up by accident.

[ExpatInItaly]

What was this important event of hers that you somehow completely forgot?

[Wiseman2]

17 hours ago, Clepan said:

The things I keep forgetting just keep getting worse. It's not on purpose, but she feels neglected 

Please reflect and ask yourself if you forget to go to work or important things in your life. If not, it may be time to reconsider if you're just coasting along and sabotaging the relationship. 

[d0nnivain]

You were focused on your dad.  It's not like you slept through it or blew her off for your friends.  

It's a cliche but for a reason. Send her flowers & an apology  

Also get a calendar app on your phone with alarms.  Show her you using it so you get electronic reminders so this doesn't happen in the future. 

Edited December 17, 2023 by d0nnivain