GHOSTED

[Sofia2002]

I am seeing a guy lately I met on bumble like a month ago. We have gone out two times and we really connected well. Our chemistry was really good and he seemed super into me. The problem is him through texts. We always ghosts me, he takes hours and sometimes even 2-3 days to text me back. This behavior really hurts me. We both want sth causal and I'm okay with that but i really wish he could text me regularly 

[Weezy1973]

1 minute ago, Sofia2002 said:

We both want sth causal and I'm okay with that but i really wish he could text me regularly 

This doesn’t make sense. Something casual is casual, so no regular texting required. The fact his behaviour hurts you suggests you don’t, in fact, want something casual.

[stillafool]

Taking hours  or a few days to reply back to a text is not exactly ghosting.  He just seems barely interested and not making you a priority.  Move on to another guy.

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, Sofia2002 said:

I am seeing a guy lately I met on bumble like a month ago. We both want sth causal and I'm okay with that but i really wish he could text me regularly 

How often do you see each other in person? After 2 dates you're not exclusive so both of you are still talking to and meeting others.

What do you mean by "you want something casual"? 

The most important person to be honest with is yourself. You seem to want more of a relationship with regular contact in between dates.

Keep in mind texting is not dating or a relationship. He's not really "ghosting", he simply is a lot more casual about this than you're hoping for. 

It seems he just wants hookups since you agreed to "casual", but you would like more continuity.  Reflect if "casual" is really what you want or just accept. 

Edited December 15, 2023 by Wiseman2

[basil67]

19 minutes ago, Sofia2002 said:

We both want sth causal

Ghosting is permanent disappearance.  So this guy isn't ghosting you - he's just being casual.   Perhaps what you really want is a boyfriend?

Edited December 15, 2023 by basil67

[Sofia2002]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How often do you see each other in person? After 2 dates you're not exclusive so both of you are still talking to and meeting others.

What do you mean by "you want something casual"? 

The most important person to be honest with is yourself. You seem to want more of a relationship with regular contact in between dates.

Keep in mind texting is not dating or a relationship. He's not really "ghosting", he simply is a lot more casual about this than you're hoping for. 

It seems he just wants hookups since you agreed to "casual", but you would like more continuity.  Reflect if "casual" is really what you want or just accept. 

We saw each other 2 times. The two dates were like a week apart. I get what you are saying but I really do want something casual. I don't want commitment or anything I am just new to this whole casual dating thing. I don't mind if he talks to other girls or even going out with them. It's not my business I don't want to know. What hurts me is that after such amazing dates I'm really so indifferent to him that he doesn't even care enough to answer 

[stillafool]

6 minutes ago, Sofia2002 said:

We saw each other 2 times. The two dates were like a week apart. I get what you are saying but I really do want something casual. I don't want commitment or anything I am just new to this whole casual dating thing. I don't mind if he talks to other girls or even going out with them. It's not my business I don't want to know. What hurts me is that after such amazing dates I'm really so indifferent to him that he doesn't even care enough to answer 

Unfortunately, casual dating is like that.  Both partners are indifferent to the other dating and having sex with other people.  They usually don't contact the other until they want sex with them again.  If you are going to go for casual and tell them that, get used to this type of treatment.

[ShyViolet]

This post is a little confused.... he's not "ghosting" you.  Ghosting means when someone never replies to you.

4 hours ago, Sofia2002 said:

What hurts me is that after such amazing dates I'm really so indifferent to him that he doesn't even care enough to answer 

This is a guy who you have gone on TWO DATES with.  He's not your boyfriend and he's not someone who you are in a relationship with.  You barely know this guy, actually.  I'm not sure why you would expect him to be texting you frequently.

 

4 hours ago, Sofia2002 said:

I get what you are saying but I really do want something casual. I don't want commitment or anything I am just new to this whole casual dating thing. I don't mind if he talks to other girls or even going out with them. It's not my business I don't want to know. 

I'm really confused as to what it is you want from this guy, exactly.  You say you don't want a relationship, you are ok with something casual, you don't even care if he dates other girls.  But you just want him to text you frequently.  Why would he do that?  He clearly isn't interested in that.  So accept the reality that he isn't interested in being your texting buddy.  There's no point in being hurt by it.  Just accept reality and proceed accordingly.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Sofia2002 said:

.What hurts me is that after such amazing dates I'm really so indifferent to him that he doesn't even care enough to answer 

If you are afraid of hit and runs, casual dating is something you definitely should reconsider. You claim you don't care if he's dating others but that doesn't seem like you're being honest with yourself either. 

[Alpacalia]

6 hours ago, Sofia2002 said:

I am seeing a guy lately I met on bumble like a month ago. We have gone out two times and we really connected well. Our chemistry was really good and he seemed super into me. The problem is him through texts. We always ghosts me, he takes hours and sometimes even 2-3 days to text me back. This behavior really hurts me. We both want sth causal and I'm okay with that but i really wish he could text me regularly 

Sorry but I think you're being a bit too dramatic about this. It's only been two dates and you met him on a dating app. It's normal to not text constantly in the early stages of getting to know someone. He probably has a life outside of his phone and is just busy. Instead of overthinking it, why don't you just try talking to him about it and see where it goes? If you can't handle casual dating, then maybe let him know that and move on. But don't put so much pressure on someone you barely know.

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, Sofia2002 said:

. I don't want commitment or anything I am just new to this whole casual dating thing. 

As you found out "casual dating" is one of those nebulous terms that means different things to different people.

For example you may think it means not exclusive but someone else could interpret it as hookups. 

Please update your profile and reset your matching and screening tools.

Hopefully you realize you're never in a "committed relationship", when you're just on dates, so putting "looking for long term relationship", does no harm.

If you would like to see someone regularly with communication in between, that's not "casual" dating so remove that from your profile. 

[NuevoYorko]

Why on Earth should anybody be tied to a texting routine with somebody they don't know, have no interest in developing a serious relationship with, and have only seen 2 x  in over two weeks?

That is not realistic at all.   

Maybe your 2 dates were equally "amazing" to your both - maybe they were not - but it hardly matters.  You both had a good enough time to do it twice.   So it seems like it was a positive experience of casual dating, whether it happens any more or not.

I'm consistently baffled by this.  There are so many posts where people want MORE TEXTING.  

Texting / chat buddies are a thing, maybe you might see if you can form that kind of a connection with someone.