Forever Alone?

[Sony12]

3 minutes ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

 

 

Im catholic, thats why its so strict. Specifically traditional catholic. We have those views. 

Are you sure? I'm Catholic too and they don't really have those views at all. Are you sure you just aren't interpreting the Catholic teachings wrong?  Catholics don't really have any rules that say a man and woman's relationship must be a certain way or else you will go to hell.

[TheRideNeverEnds]

Just now, CaliforniaGirl said:

 

You stated you would risk eternal damnation, in those words. If you're not actually worried about that, then there is something to work with here.

Premarital sex being forbidden: quite a few people have this belief and they connect and get married.

Catholocism does NOT state that a man will go to hell if he can't support the woman, BTW. So...this is more of a pride thing. I can understand that. What about both of you supporting one another? Do you have SSI? Can't you both contribute? About a zillion Catholics have that situation.

 

No, it wont work, women want a capable man with decent income, that is strong, manly, masculine good looking and not weak like i am. 

[PeterLustig]

I mean, i suffer from long covid, and that means im often nearly bedridden. And generally cant be very active. And well the loneliness is killing me, however i dont think i should try dating. I mean first of all i dont have my own place, second of all i have no money, third im unattractive for any possible partner i think.

Even though im bisexual, i dont think any woman or man would want me, not in this condition.

So i guess i have to accept my loneliness somehow? Whats the best way to do that? To accept that possibly, i will never have a partner ,as long as i still have this illness?  And who knows, if i will ever be cured of it.

Im guessing if you have any chronic illness successful dating is generally out of question, right?

[CaliforniaGirl]

People with chronic conditions definitely do date. I would put myself out there, with the information that I had a condition.

I think you can find love if you're open to it.  Yes, it's harder with a chrnoic issue, but almost everyone has something big that they feel makes dating harder. The truth is, everyone is different and nobody is perfect.  And long covid does have an end in sight, even if it may take a while. (My husband had it and this is the information he received. He had symptoms for about 8 months.)

[NuevoYorko]

Have you been able to maintain your friendships and other relationships with family or prior workplaces since you became ill?   I would suggest that you try to nurture your friendships and make sure you connect and find ways to spend time with people you care about and who care for you ahead of concentrating on starting a romantic relationship.  Desperate loneliness is as bad a place to start looking for love from as a physical illness.

Are you interested in anything?  Any hobbies or areas of interest that you'd like to pursue?   Things that don't require a physically robust body.  If you can get involved in something that captures your interest, you are likely to form some connections with others who share that interest.  Who knows where those could lead.  Whether it's to "love" or not, it will be a positive addition to your life.

[PeterLustig]

18 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

Have you been able to maintain your friendships and other relationships with family or prior workplaces since you became ill?   I would suggest that you try to nurture your friendships and make sure you connect and find ways to spend time with people you care about and who care for you ahead of concentrating on starting a romantic relationship.  Desperate loneliness is as bad a place to start looking for love from as a physical illness.

Are you interested in anything?  Any hobbies or areas of interest that you'd like to pursue?   Things that don't require a physically robust body.  If you can get involved in something that captures your interest, you are likely to form some connections with others who share that interest.  Who knows where those could lead.  Whether it's to "love" or not, it will be a positive addition to your life.

 

Ive never worked, im young and i got long covid. There was never much to destroy to begin with, but even that my illness took. Nope, i dont really have any other hobbies other than purely online stuff.

Nor would i able to.  Nor could i afford any hobbies, really. Or would be fit enough for it.

[PeterLustig]

25 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

People with chronic conditions definitely do date. I would put myself out there, with the information that I had a condition.

I think you can find love if you're open to it.  Yes, it's harder with a chrnoic issue, but almost everyone has something big that they feel makes dating harder. The truth is, everyone is different and nobody is perfect.  And long covid does have an end in sight, even if it may take a while. (My husband had it and this is the information he received. He had symptoms for about 8 months.)

 

They usually dont, i know no one whos seriously ill that has a partner personally and if, the partner was there before. But usually the partner left is they had any before.

Ive had long covid for around 3 years now, it didnt really get better.

I have no option in life, other than just waiting for me to die. Maybe theres a cure, but i doubt it. Of course im looking for a cure, but otherwise i have to basically wait out life.

Edited December 19, 2023 by PeterLustig

[CaliforniaGirl]

2 minutes ago, PeterLustig said:

 

Ive never worked, im young and i got long covid. There was never much to destroy to begin with, but even that my illness took. Nope, i dont really have any other hobbies other than purely online stuff.

Nor would i able to.  Nor could i afford any hobbies, really. Or would be fit enough for it.

 

You sound depressed. I mean you sound like you were already depressed, if you haven't had any hobbies.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Just now, PeterLustig said:

 

They usually dont, i know no one whos seriously ill that has a partner personally and if, the partner was there before. But usually the partner left is they had any before.

Ive had long covid for around 3 years now, it didnt really get better.

I have no option in life, other than just waiting for me to die.

Don't say that. Get help right now. I know someone who is paraplegic, was quadraplegic (with many many years of PT he has partial use of his arms), is a teacher and has a live-in girlfriend. But what's more concerning is that last sentence. Don't ask strangers. Get help, please. Thinking of you.

[PeterLustig]

1 minute ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

 

You sound depressed. I mean you sound like you were already depressed, if you haven't had any hobbies.

 

Of course im depressed??? My life sucks, always sucked, i never had it easy, and never a good life or any achievements.

[PeterLustig]

I wish i could just accept my lot in life, and be happy with it, and just stop caring, and just exist, basically. Tired of suffering.

Edited December 19, 2023 by PeterLustig

[CaliforniaGirl]

14 minutes ago, PeterLustig said:

 

Of course im depressed??? My life sucks, always sucked, i never had it easy, and never a good life or any achievements.

 

Okay, before this thread is closed...

My life sucked too, for decades. I won't go into the child abuse details because frankly they make people sick. There are things I didn't even tell my husband.

Then I was a single parent for years, working a soul-crushing job.

It took hard work on my part to be able to be happy and understand the little things really do count; just my happiness, accomplishements or not, counts.

Everybody deserves help if they are feeling this badly.

[PeterLustig]

2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

 

No, it 100% is not. The way you are talking shows you are in a crisis. 

 

So what? Therapists told me before i will always be lonely, and i will never be able to live a normal life.

[PeterLustig]

22 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

 

Okay, before this thread is closed...

My life sucked too, for decades. I won't go into the child abuse details because frankly they make people sick. There are things I didn't even tell my husband.

Then I was a single parent for years, working a soul-crushing job.

It took hard work on my part to be able to be happy and understand the little things really do count; just my happiness, accomplishements or not, counts.

Everybody deserves help if they are feeling this badly.

 

And how exactly could a therapist help me? If my problem is physical mostly'

[ShyViolet]

1 hour ago, PeterLustig said:

 

And how exactly could a therapist help me? If my problem is physical mostly'

You have two equally serious problems going on.  You have long covid and physical ailments, and you are also clinically depressed.  You have to work on both of them.  A good therapist can point you in the right direction to turning your life around and getting a better outlook on life.  You're not going to get out of your rut and improve your life if you don't make an effort to work on it.  A situation like yours usually needs a multi-faceted approach.  Therapy plus working on your physical health problems whether that means seeking out different doctors, going to some different specialists, improving your diet, etc.   I know it's really hard to drag yourself out of bed and do any of this when you're depressed.  But no one is going to do this for you but you.  When I've struggled with bad depression and anxiety, yoga, meditation and even listening to mental health podcasts helped me a lot.

[NuevoYorko]

[ ]   

You need to be willing to get help if you need help.   

Yes, many people in all kinds of very difficult circumstances with physical, mental and / or emotional  challenges  do have friends, hobbies, and romantic partnerships.

They need to be able to be their best selves within the parameters of realities in their lives, just like anybody.  That's what makes someone a good candidate for a relationship.

Believe me, I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth.   

Edited December 20, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote

[PeterLustig]

17 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

No it's not.  

You need to be willing to get help if you need help.   

Yes, many people in all kinds of very difficult circumstances with physical, mental and / or emotional  challenges  do have friends, hobbies, and romantic partnerships.

They need to be able to be their best selves within the parameters of realities in their lives, just like anybody.  That's what makes someone a good candidate for a relationship.

Believe me, I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth.   

 

Ive been in therapy for 6 years before i quitted it.  It didnt imrpove my life at all honestly.

[smackie9]

Your condition, not living your own place, not having money, isn't the reason why you can't date anyone....it's your negative attitude. Your depressiveness is what is making you think you are not dateable/unattractive. Ugly broke homeless people do find love. We suggest therapy because we know that maybe getting on a regiment of antidepressants, and person to talk to can turn things around for you. We are not criticizing you. Anyone rich or poor, ugly or attractive can need a little help. 

[smackie9]

4 minutes ago, PeterLustig said:

 

Ive been in therapy for 6 years before i quitted it.  It didnt imrpove my life at all honestly.

No all therapists/therapy are the same. Some are inadequate. It's up to you to look for someone else, and try something different. IMO if you are not seeing any results in say 6 months, then it will never work. Just move on. 

Edited December 19, 2023 by smackie9

[PeterLustig]

13 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Your condition, not living your own place, not having money, isn't the reason why you can't date anyone....it's your negative attitude. Your depressiveness is what is making you think you are not dateable/unattractive. Ugly broke homeless people do find love. We suggest therapy because we know that maybe getting on a regiment of antidepressants, and person to talk to can turn things around for you. We are not criticizing you. Anyone rich or poor, ugly or attractive can need a little help. 

 

you believe in a just world?

[NuevoYorko]

2 minutes ago, PeterLustig said:

 

you believe in a just world?

It would be foolhardy to believe in a "just world."  

What do you have to offer another person, if you were to meet someone you were interested in?

[PeterLustig]

1 minute ago, NuevoYorko said:

It would be foolhardy to believe in a "just world."  

What do you have to offer another person, if you were to meet someone you were interested in?

 

well my looks arent very special either. but im not ugly i guess.

[PeterLustig]

It would be so great to be free of desire, basically becoming a sage.

[PeterLustig]

56 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Your condition, not living your own place, not having money, isn't the reason why you can't date anyone....it's your negative attitude. Your depressiveness is what is making you think you are not dateable/unattractive. Ugly broke homeless people do find love. We suggest therapy because we know that maybe getting on a regiment of antidepressants, and person to talk to can turn things around for you. We are not criticizing you. Anyone rich or poor, ugly or attractive can need a little help. 

May God give me strength to reject the ways of this world, they might seem right at first glance, but are evil at second.

Maybe i should become ascetic instead? I mean i couldnt get a tradwife most likely.

[Wiseman2]

47 minutes ago, PeterLustig said:

Should I even bother try to look for a partner?

Do you live at home? Who supports and takes care of you? It's probably better to focus on your physical and mental health and recovery than worrying about dating right now.