ZaneHali Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 We kissed and we were pretty affectionate Exact text was "I think you're attractive, the conversation was good, and I think we have good chemistry, but I'm pretty positive you're into things I wouldn't be into, so I don't think we're compatible" Any insight on this
ExpatInItaly Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 What insight do you need? This person was clear. It's not a match for them.
basil67 Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 (edited) Perhaps it would help to think about what differences the two of you have which could be problematic to her. The answer will most likely be in your lifestyle or personal beliefs Edited December 12, 2023 by basil67 1
d0nnivain Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 Bottom line, they do not want a second date. You may never know exactly why. It does seem they are making assumptions & those assumptions may not be accurate but those assumptions lead them to a conclusion. They are not willing to give you the benefit of the doubt so don't waste more time. Move on 2
FredEire Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 2 hours ago, d0nnivain said: Bottom line, they do not want a second date. You may never know exactly why. It does seem they are making assumptions & those assumptions may not be accurate but those assumptions lead them to a conclusion. They are not willing to give you the benefit of the doubt so don't waste more time. Move on This, they're not interested so any kind of softening compliments they're giving don't really matter and may just be there to make the rejection sound nicer. Not worth thinking about at all. 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 (edited) 5 hours ago, ZaneHali said: We kissed and we were pretty affectionate .I'm pretty positive you're into things I wouldn't be into, so I don't think we're compatible" How did you meet? A lot of dates are one and done. In this case the chemistry was ok but apparently there was incompatibilities. What exactly are you into that she wasn't? What did you talk about during the date? Be grateful there was honesty and diplomacy and you can cut your losses and move forward. Edited December 12, 2023 by Wiseman2 1
Sony12 Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 Did you guys have sex? Perhaps she is looking for more than just sex and doesn't feel that you are or she was just looking for a hookup herself.
stillafool Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 7 hours ago, ZaneHali said: I think you're attractive, the conversation was good, and I think we have good chemistry, but I'm pretty positive you're into things I wouldn't be into, so I don't think we're compatible" Any insight on this You didn't ask her what she meant by that statement??? 1
Atwood Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 Human beings have a multitude of ways to disentangle themselves from people they don't want to speak to or see any more. I don't feel that it's worth knowing what feedback someone has for you when they are rejecting you after a first date. They don't know you well enough for the feedback to be useful, but they know themselves well enough that you're not the right fit for them. A rejection after a first date is a sign they know themselves really well more than a statement about you. Unless they say something really objectively clear and specific about your behaviour, then take "we're not compatible" at face value and move on. 1 1
Gaeta Posted December 12, 2023 Posted December 12, 2023 Of course it's possible. Once, on a first date, a man told me all about his passion for motocycling. He loved driving to distant places, he was part of a motocycling club, they drove on weekends etc. I knew right there and then we were not compatible. Let it go. 2
introverted1 Posted December 13, 2023 Posted December 13, 2023 On 12/12/2023 at 12:22 AM, ZaneHali said: you're into things I wouldn't be into Is she referring to drowning kittens or collecting stamps? A little insight here would be helpful. 2
Wiseman2 Posted December 13, 2023 Posted December 13, 2023 On 12/12/2023 at 12:22 AM, ZaneHali said: "I think you're attractive, the conversation was good, and I think we have good chemistry, but I'm pretty positive you're into things I wouldn't be into, so I don't think we're compatible" This is pretty much the standard "we're not a match" message. She just decided to elaborate vaguely for whatever reason. 1
FredEire Posted December 13, 2023 Posted December 13, 2023 7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: This is pretty much the standard "we're not a match" message. She just decided to elaborate vaguely for whatever reason. Yeah I think some people feel a bit of flattery will soften the blow. It's probably not any more meaningful than that. 3
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