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Last week had a christmas party at my house with friends from work there was lots of drinking and dancing found out the following week from my wife of 5 years that she says almost had sex with a co worker I work with,she was completely remorseful and upset.

Im at odds as to what to do we've recently decided to have kids,bought a house and I dont want to throw it all away,However my trust has been broken I feel ashamed and embarresed knowing I work with the guy she cheated on me with I want to stomp his face but im in a good position at work to.

please help

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4 hours ago, Shane said:

 my wife of 5 years that she says almost had sex with a co worker I work 

Sorry this is happening. How is your marriage otherwise? Has there been other incidents of inappropriate behavior or cheating? 

What did she mean by "almost had sex with" and what was the context as far as where were they and where were you at the time? 

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After pushing and pushing for the truth she did indeed have sex with him,marriage has been fine as far as I'm aware

I was outside the backyard with some friends from work having some drinks and she snuck out the front of the house with him,

Wish I knew what I did wrong for her to do this to me 

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34 minutes ago, Shane said:

Wish I knew what I did wrong for her to do this to me 

This has nothing to do with you. 

This is a decision that is hers and hers alone. 

Considering that you do not children with this woman, I would seriously reconsider whether this is the woman you want to trust with your future happiness. This is not something that a woman who loves and respects a man would do. 

But again - there is NOTHING that you ever have done that would warrant this kind of disrespect or betrayal. Her behavior is atrocious - it reflects her character, not yours. 

Edited by BaileyB
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37 minutes ago, Shane said:

Wish I knew what I did wrong for her to do this to me 

You did nothing. The “good” thing is that she came clean and is showing remorse. That means, if you want to reconcile, there is some hope. 
 

That being said, at some point you’re going to have to figure out whether you’ll ever be able to trust her fully. If the answer is no, time to cut your losses and end the marriage. And be thankful you don’t have kids together.

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40 minutes ago, Shane said:

After pushing and pushing for the truth she did indeed have sex with him. I was outside the backyard with some friends from work having some drinks and she snuck out the front of the house with him.

 Sorry this is happening. This has nothing to do with anything you did. Have they been having an affair? Why would she choose to sneak out during a party at your house?  

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Honestly I have know idea she is the most innocent,caring woman I've ever met atleast I thought she was we've sacrificed so much together maybe was the alchohol maybe that made her give in to his advances,but that is no excuse just dont know what I'll do if I end it 

I'd have to sell up and find another job

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Alcohol is no excuse. Many women drink at parties and don’t sneak out the front door to have sex with another man. 

You don’t have to decide anything now. This is only the beginning of a very long road… I would suggest that you find some counsellors and then, through counselling and with time, you will find the path that is right for you.

I think you would be very unwise to trust her at this time. Unfortunately, the life that you thought you had doesn’t exist anymore…

Edited by BaileyB
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